Let It Go
by Miss Peg
Summary: Emily grew up with her dad in London, Katie grew up with her mum in Manchester. What happens when the twins meet in college and realise their lives have been only half of what they could have been? AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: This fiction is what I would call an experiment. As the title and summary suggest, YOU the readers call the shots. I know how much some of you get invested in the angst I've written in the past and by the sounds of past reviews on other stories you'd love to have a say in what happens. So here is your chance. Also, this is my first fic that is truly AU so bare with me.**

* * *

**Let It Go**

_Emily_

September 5th, the first day of the rest of her life. To some it was just another day, but to Emily Fitch, it was the start of college; the start of a world where she could be more grown up, where she could meet someone special and where she could finally discover the person she wanted to be in life. She'd carefully picked out an outfit that she knew would raise her dad's eyebrows. For once she didn't care about looking embarrassing in front of him, she was ready to be a young woman.

"Wow," Rob gasped, greeting her with astonishment. "Since when did my little girl look like that?"

"Dad, don't," Emily laughed, covering her face with mild embarrassment and sitting down opposite him at the table.

"You're gonna attract some hotties in that outfit."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Dad, do you have to? I'm eating," she sighed, buttering a slice of toast.

"It's not my fault you've started looking at women instead of girls. I'm single too you know."

"Most of the girls I look at are under eighteen."

"You never know, the odd one might be after a real man."

"Hopefully none at my college," Emily groaned. "Please don't embarrass me if I bring any friends round and for the record a friend who is a girl is not automatically my girlfriend."

"I wouldn't dream of it love and I do know the difference."

"You should tell that to Jane from high school. You practically had us married before you realised she was just a friend."

Rob raised his glass of orange juice. "Put the past in the past. Here's to your first day."

"Speaking of, I'm running behind schedule," Emily mumbled, her mouth half full of toast as she planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "Ill see you later dad."

The relationship with her father had always been a good one but since Emily had come out she'd found him treating her more grown up. His favourite pastime, looking at beautiful women, had become something they shared. At first it had been a little strange, but it had been the two of them for as long as she could remember, so it was easier to accept.

"Knock 'em dead," Rob called after her.

*

_Katie_

It took precisely sixteen minutes to walk to college, four minutes to fight through the excitable crowd and one minute to realise that she needed to be on the second floor to find her locker. The first day of college was regimented in her mind, each step planned out to make it easier. It took two minutes to open the locker, that was a minute longer than she'd scheduled for, which gave her just thirty seconds to walk the forty-five second journey to her form room. The bell rang before she got there and her heart started racing. The schedule had been broken. It wasn't a big deal, but she could feel herself becoming overwhelmed by the situation. The classroom door opened and a man with yellow teeth stood staring at her.

"You for my form?" he asked, barely forming a question.

She nodded, her voice betraying her, despite having practised everything she needed to say ahead of time.

"Take a seat anywhere, except the swivel chair at the front. That's mine, you sit there and you'll lose your fucking legs."

He was joking. At least she hoped he was joking. There was a spare seat mid-way which she slid into it. She looked to the boy sat beside her, his teeth covered in braces, his hair a mess on top of his head. She tried to decide whether to like him or not and when she caught his eye he looked away blushing profusely. He seemed shy. It drew her to him.

"I'm Katie Ashford," she smiled, holding out a hand which she knew wasn't the way to greet someone her own age, but couldn't help the greeting she always thought was appropriate.

"J, J," the teenage boy stuttered, staring at her hand with fear.

"J?" she asked, rattling off the names that started with the letter. "James? Josh? Jonas?"

"Jonah," he finally answered, muttering to himself. She only caught every fifth word but it made her smile when his rant included 'Katie', 'Hot' and 'Bobbins'. It settled her nerves, though felt bad that someone more nervous than her was the thing that did it.

"It's nice to meet you Jonah."

The dropping of a pile of books sent a loud bang through the conversations that had crept into the room. Katie looked around at her new form, hoping to find someone who looked just as scared as her at the tutor stood at the front of the room. Everyone else, bar Jonah, looked happy. Many people continued to whisper and looked as though they'd known each other for years. They probably did, she answered the question in her head.

"You lot look like a bunch of clever fuckers," the man who introduced himself as Kieran announced as he wrote his name on the board. "Now tell me who the fuck you are so we can all get to know each other. You lot eyeing someone else up in the room will be very happy to know the name of the person you think you wanna fuck by the end of the year. Go," he pointed at the first person on the front row and name after name was called out. Katie tried to keep up, but people barely moved to give her a good look at their face and some spoke like children on their first day at primary school. It was like listening to the world with the volume turned down.

"You," Kieran muttered, pointing to Jonah. Katie watched as the boy next to her stood up, he was ranting again which worried her. The room started to laugh and Katie wanted to pull him down, or shout at them for being mean. Instead she stood up next to him, her arm brushing his.

"This is Jonah, I'm Katie."

"Great, we've got a fucking puppet in here," Kieran groaned.

"He likes to be called JJ," someone else announced, he was tall and seemed to imply a sex god status by the way he stood, though Katie didn't find him in the least bit attractive. "I'm Cook, you're free to suck my Cock any day, if you're a lady."

"That's fucking fantastic. I doubt any real lady would want to do that," Kieran mumbled, pointing at the next person.

The group of students who sat behind Katie were easier to see. She smiled up at a couple of girls who looked quite nice; Effy and Emily, she noted, a familiarity about the bright red haired girl. She figured someone at her old school probably had red hair or something. There was a couple of idiots and finally a girl who sat at the back of the room on her own. She looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders and told everyone that she was called Naomi, but only because her mum must have been high when she named her. Katie had thought that quite unfair to say, until she realised her surname was Campbell.

*

_Emily_

The form teacher was weird but her form were great. Emily couldn't stop smiling when she left the room. They'd split into groups and she was with what she could only describe as a hot girl, a loopy girl and a grumpy one. Effy, though not very talkative, was completely alluring. She had to stop herself staring on a number of occasions. The grumpy girl wouldn't stop complaining about anything they said. When Emily talked about television, Naomi had talked about global warming. When Effy talked about her brother at university, Naomi asked what they thought of top up fees. It wasn't that it bored her. But on the first day of college Emily wasn't interested in politics. If she was, she'd have taken it a A-level. But it interested her little. The loopy girl was a friend of Effy's and talked a lot. She constantly ended sentences with "Isn't that right Ef?" as though Effy had a monopoly on everything she said. She also seemed pretty obsessed with boys and sex, which Emily doubted she had ever had either.

"There's a party tonight," Effy informed her before they parted ways after lunch.

"Great, count me in," she replied, a smile on her face. In all honesty she wasn't the biggest fan of parties; she liked to dance and the atmosphere of drunken teenagers didn't repulse her. But she'd never liked the thought of out of control house parties. Not that she'd been to many. In school her dad knew all of her friends and their parents, so it made it very difficult to slip under the radar.

"If you want to say were studying at mine that's fine, my parents don't give a shit," Effy informed her, which made her frown. She hadn't told Effy her worries and as far as she knew she hadn't given that impression either.

"Thanks," she accepted, still trying to figure her out.

"I do it all the time," Pandora announced. "My mum is whizzer cruel, says I can't date any boys. Not ever. Isn't that right Ef?"

There it was again. Emily let a cheeky grin creep up on her face. "What about girls? Can you date girls?"

"Bonkers," she gasped, "Don't think my mum would approve of that."

"Shouldn't introduce you to my ex-boyfriend then?!" Effy stated, raising an eyebrow.

"No point," Emily confirmed.

It didn't escape Emily's notice that Pandora hadn't picked up on what she'd said. She didn't fly the rainbow flag, in front of people she didn't know, very often. It had taken a while for her school friends, or her dad for that matter to understand. It always worried her the reaction she was going to get. Effy seemed alright, she seemed like the kind of girl that had explored more than a few pairs of lips over the years and Emily suspected they weren't all male.

"There's a little bit in everyone," Effy muttered, doing it again. Emily wanted to ask her how she knew so much, but she didn't want to make any mistakes that would push her new friends away. Thankfully the bell went and the three of them separated in order to get to their first real lesson of the year.

*

_Katie_

Katie wasn't sure how it had happened, how she'd gained three stalkers in the few hours she'd been at college. It turned out that Jonah or JJ, whatever his name, was best friends with the idiot that had introduced himself as Cook. Along with a skateboarder type guy known as Freddie. At first Katie assumed they were headed in the same direction, until she'd heard her name and a "go get her J" that made her smile. Jonah looked to nervous to ever approach her that way. Instead they'd taken to following her around. By the end of the day she'd found out they were in her History class and her Psychology class, which were the only lessons she'd had that day. It was supposed to take one minute but takes two she remembered as she stood in front of her locker with a couple of texts books. She kept an eye on the time, until a hand came from nowhere and closed her locker, almost catching a number of her fingers.

"Excuse me," Katie snapped, turning to face her three stalkers.

"Excuse me yourself. So do you like him?"

"Who?"

"Our man JJ of course, or is it Jonah?" Cook laughed, his hand resting on the embarrassed boys neck.

"I don't really know him," she admitted, taking the fifth.

"How about you come to this party tonight?" Cook invited her. "It's gonna be wicked I'm telling you. You two can get a room and get to know each other or somefink."

There were a million particles of her brain wanting to tell him the word was pronounced 'something' but she figured making friends would not happen if she insulted people.

"I don't think my mum would be too happy," she replied, sliding her bag up onto her shoulder.

"Just tell her you're at Effy's studying."

"The girl from our form?"

"The very same, she's a fucking legend she is. If you wanna get away from the rents just use her as your alibay."

"It's alibi," JJ and Freddie corrected simultaneously, prompting a harsh stare from their friend.

"I'll think about it," Katie smiled, muttering a goodbye before parting ways with them.

* * *

_Choices for Chapter Two:_

**Option 1****: Katie goes to the party to see JJ and ends up doing something she doesn't expect // Emily and Effy get horrendously drunk prompting Emily to feel more than she should.**

OR

**Option 2****: Katie goes to the party, meets everyone and does something she'll regret later // Emily spends some time with Naomi with disastrous consequences.**

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you all for such a wonderful response to the first chapter, I appreciate all of your votes. I apologise for anyone wanting a different combination of the options, I realise my mistake. I hope this chapter lives up to the overwhelming winning option 2!**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Two**

_Katie_

In all the years Katie had spend going to parties at her friends' houses, nothing could prepare her for her first college party. There were no parents for a start, no one to keep an eye out for trouble makers and no one to make sure drink was distributed effectively. As she pushed between a handful of people dancing in the doorway Katie began thinking about news reports of teenagers who's parties had gotten out of control. She'd expected it was a rare occurrence and parties like that didn't really happen, they hadn't with her friends anyway. But as the full scene of the party came into view, she knew her thoughts had been shattered. Girls and boys were sat together, lay together kissing and doing God knows what else. Cans, bottles and plastic cups littered the floor and a number of people had cigarettes perched in their mouths. When Katie walked past she could smell the sweeter smoke that made her question if any of the cigarettes in the room actually contained tobacco. Sickness rose in her stomach as she thought of what would happen if her mum knew she was at this party and wasn't at 'a friend's house from college'. Several levels of regret and guilt for lying to her parents made her turn around and head for the door. She would explain that she had gone to Effy's with the hope of studying but had found a party instead and come home. Her mother couldn't ground her for that, after all, it wasn't her fault.

"Oi oi," a voice jeered in her direction and she spun round to see who it was.

"Cock, I mean," she stuttered her voice trailing off into the loud noises around her. Cook barely battered an eyelid as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and guided her through to another room.

"The Cookie Monster is going to introduce you to some more pussy's, a'right?" he grinned, a cigarette in one hand a little too close to Katie's head and a beer in his other. He smelt like a wild animal and Katie welcomed the moment he let go.

"Oh hi," a blonde haired girl came bouncing towards Katie, she vaguely recognised her from her form. "I'm Panda, I love your skirt, it's awesome. You look a bit like Emily actually, bonkers."

"I'm Katie," she replied, holding out her hand before pulling it back.

"That's Effy," Cook announced, passing his cigarette across to the brunette.

"From form right?" Effy smiled, sucking on the cigarette, closing her eyes as the substance filled her body. "You want some?"

Katie shook her head and perched on the edge of a sofa. JJ was sat beside her and was ranting to himself, which made Katie smile. There was something about him that appealed to her. She'd never been into the bad boy type and JJ's innocence made her feel better about her own inexperience.

*

_Emily_

A beer in hand, weed in her lungs and people all around made Emily happy. She wasn't too bothered about the drugs, knew her dad would probably kill her for doing something so 'harmful" to her body. For once she pushed the angel of her dad out of her brain and let the devil control.

"You look vaguely familiar," Katie informed her, which made her frown.

"I've never met you before," she shrugged.

"Yeah, same," Katie replied.

"You don't sound like you're from round here," Emily questioned after a long swig of beer.

"I grew up in Manchester, my mum wanted to move to be closer to my grandparents and they moved down here two years ago."

"Oh right," if Emily was being completely honest she would have told Katie that she'd stopped listening after she said Manchester. The girl seemed alright, but there was something about her that didn't appeal. Not like Effy. If Emily could choose just one friend she'd jump at the chance of it being Effy.

"What about you? You sound like you're from London or somewhere?" Katie asked back, a conversation building though Emily couldn't be bothered to maintain it.

"Yeah, grew up there," she replied, minimally.

"That's well cool, I've only been to London once with my mum, we went to see Wicked at the West End, it's a well good show. Have you ever seen it? Bet you got to see tons of those living in London."

"I did."

The drug was making her light headed and spacey. She didn't want to appear rude but her brain physically couldn't handle anymore conversation with the brunette, or was she a red head too? Emily suspected maybe the girl beside her had brown hair with a slight reddish tinge. But she couldn't be sure.

"Hey Ef, you get these things very often?" Emily asked, holding up the joint and enjoying the buzz.

"All the time."

"Think I'm gonna like college."

"Oh my fucking God, twins!" Cook shouted, staring at Emily with wide eyes as he appeared with another drink.

"What are you staring at you fuck?" Emily rolled her eyes.

Two hands were moving back and forth pointing to both Emily and Katie, which infuriated her. Cook appeared pretty smashed and was mumbling his word, making no sense at all.

"What the fuck?"

"You and her," the only words that made sense whilst he pointed to Katie. Emily glanced over to find Katie staring back just as bewildered.

"Twins, you're fucking twins."

"No we're not," Katie replied at the same time Emily snapped "No we fucking aren't you tit."

"Yes you fucking are, you look the same, except maybe your hair."

"We're not fucking related," Emily snapped, standing up, wondering how inebriated he was.

The idiot that was Cook shrugged his shoulders, looking anything but stable as he stumbled against the sofa, landing with his face on Katie's lap. It made Emily laugh and when everyone else joined in, she felt comfortable in her new group of friends. Katie on the other hand looked less enthused. It didn't help that JJ was staring at them, his eyes growing wide as he looked between her and Katie.

"Cook's right, you two are remarkably similar in appearance for two unrelated people."

"We don't look the same," Emily snapped, rolling her eyes at the continuation of the conversation she'd hoped was over.

"Actually," Effy mused, "You kind of do."

There was lots of reasons not to believe Cook or JJ, the most important being that they were tossers. But the same words spoken from Effy could persuade Emily of anything. She didn't know for sure the brunettes sexuality, but she hoped that she swayed both ways for more than just a kiss. Those blue eyes were so deep she could get lost in them.

"Doppelgangers!" JJ grinned, interrupting Emily's racy thoughts. "I've never seen it in real life, but it's proof that near enough doubles do exist."

"Dopplewhats?" Cook laughed, raising his eyebrows at Katie, his hands still resting on her knees. "Oi, oi."

"Get off me you jerk," Katie snapped, pushing him away.

Everyone grew silent when Naomi joined the group with a look of hesitation. There were many people in the world Emily would have liked to see at that moment; her friends from school for one. Naomi fucking Campbell was not one of them. An eye roll and a mumble under her breath was all she could muster. Katie had already stood up and was greeting her with a handshake.

"I'm Katie, we're in the same form."

"Great," Naomi replied, accepting Katie's hand awkwardly. "Naomi."

It was difficult to hide her distain as Emily stood up, "Who invited you?"

Naomi looked anything but welcomed but her question, "Err."

"I did," Pandora admitted, a huge grin on her face. "What do you think of the party? It's awesome ain't it Ef?"

*

_Katie_

It had become tense, which made Katie feel extremely uneasy. Naomi was squished on the sofa between her and Emily, much to Emily's dismay. It hadn't escaped her notice that Emily didn't like the blonde, though Katie couldn't understand why, she'd shown no reason to dislike her.

"I, err, I," JJ announced, holding a cup out to Katie, her lips curved into a smile.

"What is it?"

"Just, just Coke," he admitted. "Do you want something else?"

"It's fine," she replied, her cheeks growing flush, sipping on the drink to distract herself.

"Do you, do you want to maybe go outside?" JJ whispered, his own face turning a deep shade of red.

There were many things her mother had taught her about boys; one was to always be a lady in front of a man you like and two was to never give them more than you're willing to lose. It was advice that Katie had always appreciated because she knew it would keep her safe. Her mum was a bit strict at times but everything she had done had been to protect her. The small garden was dimly lit by the kitchen windows. From what she could tell it had been raining, though wasn't any longer. A slight chill was still in the air, reaching her bare arms and she instantly regretted not bringing a jacket.

"You, you're cold," JJ noticed, "We can go back in?"

She didn't want to go back in, didn't want to be inside where there was a lot of noise and too many people. She wanted to be alone with JJ, so shook her head. The parties she'd attended in school had been very tame, they were usually just girls, when boys turned up very few girls actually ended up kissing and no one went any further. The couples inside had been a shock to Katie, not expecting them to be quite so hands on in a public place. She'd been taught that sex was for the bedroom, not the middle of a stranger's living room.

"I, I think," JJ began, his stuttering making Katie smile. She liked that about him. He didn't jump in head first lips at the ready, he was nervous, cautious. It made her feel at ease. "I think you're beautiful."

"Thanks," she gasped, the words a shocking reminder just how inexperienced she was. "No one's ever said that to me before."

All those parties she'd spent avoiding boys, avoiding the one thing that scared her, which was the one thing finally happening. Katie felt nervous, but she felt happy too. There was a slight tingling sensation in her lips as she moved closer. JJ was nervous too, he was mumbling to himself again. It made Katie smile when he said the word bobbins. She only seemed to hear it when he was ranting to himself, but she knew it would always remind her of him.

"Jonah, will you kiss me?"

They shared a look, a nervous grin that seemed to be reflected between them. If she had to be completely honest with herself, she'd never really kissed anyone properly before. There'd been a couple of boys from school who had tried to kiss her, but they were drunk and didn't show any sign of actually liking her. The thought of kissing someone who liked her back made Katie shake even more. Until JJ's fingers touched the sides of her head and her nerves disappeared, being replaced instead by the gentle sensation of lips colliding. She couldn't say it was everything she'd ever dreamt of, but it was gentle, it was careful and it was considerate. It didn't last long until they pulled away, sharing the biggest smile Katie had felt grace her lips. She dropped her hand from his shoulder, letting her fingers interlink with JJ's until they were holding hands. They would have to return to the party eventually, but Katie didn't think another five minutes would hurt.

*

_Emily_

It annoyed her that Katie left, she didn't know why because she didn't even find her remotely interesting. But having someone else there made the awkward silence with Naomi that little bit easier. Instead Emily found herself staring at people dancing, with the most boring person on the planet talking about top up fees.

"I don't know about you but I think it's fucking stupid having to pay all that money just to get a good education," Naomi muttered, the words going straight over Emily's head.

"Hmm," she replied, nodding her head to constitute a response.

"It's that fucking Tony Blair who did it, whoever thought he'd make a good Prime Minister is beyond me. Can't wait 'til I'm eighteen, then I'll actually have a say in who's the next one."

"One vote doesn't make a difference," Emily grumbled, taking a long gulp of the beer in her hand.

"What are you talking about? Of course it makes a difference. It's people like you, the apathetic, who are stopping democracy from happening."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Emily snapped, standing up. "I don't actually give a shit about this crap, can you fuck off now please?"

It was harsh but the mixture of alcohol and cannabis was getting to her head, she couldn't be bothered with the small talk that Naomi seemed to love so much, so much so that she wasn't going to sit there and listen any longer when she had the ability to stop it.

"You're not a very nice person, are you?" Naomi asked, standing up.

The blonde's persistence stopped her from walking away, "I like you too," she rolled her eyes sarcastically.

"You're not going to make friends like that you know."

It didn't matter to her, "I don't really want to be friends with the boringest person in the world."

"Most boring."

"What?"

"It's most boring, boringest isn't even a word you twat," Naomi retorted.

She didn't care what was a word or not and quite frankly, didn't like someone telling her she was wrong. Who was Naomi Campbell to think she could be a bitch to her? Walking away was out of the question, her natural instinct to fight back kicked in.

"You're talking but all I hear is boring, boring, boring."

The girl who seemed to like JJ had returned, was staring at them like a fish, her mouth open. Emily knew she should have been nicer to these girls, they were after all, in her form. But she'd never been one to mince her words.

"Oh look, it's the loser. You and Ms Boring here probably make a good couple."

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "No dear, that would be you and Effy, pining after a straight girl isn't going to do you any good."

She'd hit her where it hurt and Emily realised she'd met her match when it came to insults. Naomi was up there with the best and though she pissed her off, she respected her for the witty comebacks.

"Fuck off," she snarled, trying not to glance at Effy, who was dancing in the other room.

"You're gay?" Katie questioned, frowning. "That explains everything. No one would want to be your friend even if you were nice to them."

Katie didn't seem the insulting type, but her words hit Emily hardest of all, "You fucking bitch."

The instant buzz from the weed was wearing off, but the alcohol was still flush in her system, keeping her adrenaline running high. She didn't expect to do it, but her hand came down hard across Katie's cheek. It shocked her, sent her flying back with an unexpected jerk. Emily was ready for a fight, her fists clenched, her nostrils flaring with rage. Nobody would insult her sexuality, nobody.

"Don't," Naomi tried, putting a hand out and using herself as a barrier for what could follow. Fortunately it didn't. Katie was wincing, which only spurred Emily on. She regretted hitting her, but words were still a good form of defence.

"The only reason we're fucking hanging around together is because we made friends with people who know each other. You get in my way again and I'll fucking slap your other cheek," Emily warned.

*

_Katie_

It made her shake, physically shake when she thought about Emily's threats. She hadn't done much, wasn't a horrible person other than a comment that she had known was out of line the moment it fell from her lips. But that wasn't enough to have someone hate her, surely. It made her feel sick. Emily had left, gone into the other room where she'd found Effy, was dancing very close for someone who was just her friend. Katie watched her, struggling to understand how she'd lost a friend before she was able to gain one and she wondered how much it would impact on her other near friendships.

"Are you okay?" Naomi asked, pulling her from her thoughts, a hand resting on her arm.

"Not really," she admitted, looking up into the blue eyes that were looking at her with concern.

"Lets get a drink," Naomi smiled, an offering that didn't escape Katie's notice. She followed her into the kitchen where she accepted what looked like water, but as the liquid hit her throat she regretted gulping it down. Spluttering and choking on the unknown substance she frowned at Naomi with disapproval.

"Never had vodka before?"

Katie couldn't speak, her throat hurt too much, distracting her from the throbbing of her cheek. There was possibility of a mark, or a bruise and she wondered just what she was going to tell her mother.

"You do drink don't you?" Naomi questioned, those blue eyes still staring at Katie.

Katie shrugged, "I sometimes have wine, but that's it."

"I think we need to educate you in the finer art of shots."

"Like whisky and stuff?"

Naomi laughed, "Emily's right, you are a loser."

"Thanks," Katie muttered, sarcastically, her voice laced with tears.

She didn't want to cry, had to stop the tears from falling. One. Two. Three. She counted out, consciously thinking of each number. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. It was the only way she could calm herself, the only way she could get through the next minute without sobbing uncontrollably.

"I was joking," Naomi mumbled, looking guilty.

"Oh," Katie replied, choking on tears. She didn't know whether to laugh, or let herself cry.

"You're just different. I like that. I always feel like I'm different too. Nobody else seems to care about politics and it's my favourite thing."

The vodka was slowly reaching Katie's head, sending her body into a spin. A weird buzz hit her and she wondered if it was what being drunk felt like. Suddenly things changed, a realisation that she may have lost the possible friendship of some girls in her class that she hadn't even hoped to be their friend, so it didn't really matter. On the other hand she had Jonah who she thought she could like, really like and who liked her back. Then there was Naomi, though she didn't share her like of vodka or politics, she respected her and could see a possible friendship. The party had in many ways been a failed experiment, but when Naomi offered to walk her home so they could "talk some more," it made the night worth it.

*

_Emily_

"Loser and boring have gone off together, maybe they're more gay than me?!" Emily laughed, another spliff filling her lungs with the drug she knew she shouldn't have. But her heart was clouding her judgement.

With a cheeky cigarette between them, Emily had every excuse to dance closer, to run her fingers further down Effy's body as the music ran through them. She'd forgotten just how much fun it was to dance with someone else, to push her body against someone as they swayed to the beats. Effy was effectively sozzled, which suited Emily fine. The thought of being so close to Effy Stonem with both their heads in it scared her more than trying to kiss her. Which she did. She reached forwards and tried to push her lips against Effy's, but somehow she collided with someone, or that someone collided with her, pushing past her, sending her into Effy's arms. If it hadn't disrupted their almost kiss, she would have been thankful for the excuse to let her hands accidentally land on Effy's chest.

"What the fuck?" she screamed, jumping to her feet and scanning the room.

She saw who did it and she got angry, really angry. The blond hair that belonged to the most boring person on the planet was disappearing towards the door. It wasn't like she had control over her body anymore, her feet marching towards the door, catching up with the two girls she hadn't wanted to see again when they got outside. It took one hand to reach out and grab the mess of hair, to pull Naomi towards her with such force she could see the pain in Naomi's eyes.

"You fucking bitches, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Before Naomi, or even Katie, could say anything, Emily was being pulled away. Effy's perfectly polished fingers wrapping around her waist, dragging her back to the party. It suddenly occurred to her what a mistake she'd made. She liked Effy, really liked her and even though all she could think about was pushing her against a wall and kissing her perfectly formed lips, it wasn't the only thing she wanted. The move to Bristol hadn't been easy, knowing she'd have to leave all her friends behind. The thing she wanted the most was people she could spend time with and pushing them all away at the start would not be the way to get that.

**After someone rightly pointed out, there really should be more than two options. So basically I have 2 options for Katie, 2 for Emily. Pick and choose your favourites.**

_**Katie Option 1 (KO1)**_**: Naomi and Katie have a sleepover, when Katie's mum goes out, with surprise visitors.**

_**Katie Option 2 (KO2)**_**: Katie and JJ go on a date.**

_**Emily Option 1 (EO1)**_**: Emily and Effy get drunk and Emily tries to kiss her again.**

_**Emily Option 2 (EO2)**_**: Emily and Naomi are forced to work on an assignment together.**

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICES!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story so far; you rock! I hope that this chapter is okay, though it does serve a purpose, it was a sort of filler-ish chapter. But enjoy anyway!**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Three**

_Emily_

Dinner with the family was never an occasion that Emily enjoyed. She wasn't against spending time with her dad, but he had a habit of cooking unbelievably healthy food that usually made Emily feel sick. Regardless of such, she still sat beside Rob Fitch at the breakfast bar. They didn't even own a table. It had always been just the two of them, so what was the need?

"What does my favourite girl have planned for this evening?" he asked, eating a mouthful of low fat, low calorie avocado pasta.

The mixture of colours on Emily's plate revolted her. "Effy, Panda and I are going out."

"Anywhere special?"

"The park."

"Oh, well have fun," he grinned, eating hastily.

One 'important' lesson that Rob often taught Emily was to eat food at a normal pace and not to scoff it down. Emily stared at her dad, picking warily at the food on her plate. He wasn't following his own recommendations and he had a strangely large smile for a normal Friday evening.

"What's happened?" Emily asked, putting down her fork in protest.

"Eat your dinner love," he ordered. But she didn't return to her dinner, just stared at Rob until he put his own fork down. "I have a date."

He had dated before on several occasions. It wasn't unusual for him to have a woman in his life. They usually had a 'don't ask, don't tell' rule. Very rarely sharing the ins and outs of their actual relationships. On occasion he'd mention a date, but he usually just went 'out'.

"And you're telling me this because?"

Rob held a forkful of food on the edge of his plate, "I'm serious about her Emily."

"Serious?" Emily asked, frowning.

Rob Fitch was never serious about women. She didn't know much about her dad's love life, didn't want to know. But not once had he ever claimed to be serious about one of his floozies. The huge smile still plastered on Rob's face made Emily laugh. He was joking. Of course he was joking.

"I love her, kid," he continued. Emily was still laughing. It was funny. Her dad had a habit of pulling people's legs at the right opportunity. "I want her to move in with us."

He wasn't serious. Not in the slightest. But his joke was going a bit far. It was funny, but only because she knew the chance was impossible.

"Stop laughing Emily. I want to ask her tonight and I need you to agree for me to do it." He was serious. He was completely serious. The laughing subsided, the smile from either faces were gone.

"Dad?" Emily whispered, apprehensive. "You can't be serious, you can't."

His grin was replaced by a sincere smile. "I've never been more serious about anything. Except maybe having you."

It was a shock, too much of a shock for it to be processed instantly. "I don't even know the woman and you expect her to move in here? What is wrong with you?"

"I'm in love Emily," Rob tried, but his words were falling on deaf ears. "I guess I thought you'd be happy for me."

"But you don't fall in love. You don't fall in anything. It's just us, it's always just us," Emily tried, her voice growing strained.

"Now you're acting like a spoilt brat," Rob snapped, his voice deepening with frustration. "I am happy Emily. Can't you just be glad about that?"

There were occasions when Emily acted like a child just because she was young enough to still get away with it and there were times when she actually thought she was in the right to behave in such a way. When it came to her life changing beyond her control at such pace, she decided that she could act any way she wanted.

"I don't accept this, I don't agree and I don't approve," she told him, pushing her chair back and standing up.

"Fine," Rob muttered calmly, discontented. "Then I'll ask her without her approval."

"Are you fucking stupid dad? I haven't even met this woman. How can I approve of someone I don't even know?"

"If you want to meet her," he tried again, maintaining his composure. "I can arrange that. How about me, you and her family go out for dinner tomorrow night?"

The blows kept coming, hitting her hard. "Her family?"

"She is also a single parent."

"So not only am I going to gain a step mother minus the step," Emily began, getting louder and louder. "I'm also going to be forced to spend time with some evil step siblings that I don't like or want to spend any time with."

"I'm sure once you meet them you'll like them," Rob attempted.

It suddenly occurred to Emily that their two-bedroomed house was not fit for four people. Rob and the woman would obviously share a room; a bed. But where would the kids sleep? There was only one other room and that was Emily's.

"I am not sharing a room with those fucking people." Emily shouted, dropping her plate into the sink and heading for the door. "You can't do this."

*

_Katie_

The front door closed and though Katie had been left alone with friends before, it was a relief to have her mother leave. Though she'd been nice to Naomi, greeted her happily, she wasn't too impressed by "the way that girl dresses". It would have made Katie laugh had she not cared about Naomi and actually wanted to have her sleep over.

"Now that we're alone," Naomi muttered, pulling a bottle out of her bag.

"Wine?"

"I was going to take my mum's vodka but I remembered you prefer wine."

"You took it from your mum?" Katie questioned, unsurely.

"She doesn't mind, beside's she's out with her boyfriend tonight. Got any glasses?"

Drinking alcohol in her house without her mum was wrong. Jenna had told her time and again not to drink without her present. It didn't matter too much when she had a couple of drinks at parties but drinking a whole bottle of wine in the house was against everything Katie had ever thought okay.

"Don't tell me you won't drink it," Naomi sighed. "I can't drink it all alone."

"Mum will be well mad if she finds out."

"And you really think she will?" Naomi pointed out. "We'll drink it all before we go to bed and I'll take the empty bottle home when I leave."

The corner of Katie's mouth curled up. Sometimes she felt like being naughty and for some reason Naomi seemed to bring it out of her. "I guess a glass couldn't hurt."

The alcohol was creating a buzz in Katie's system, after three glasses of the wine Naomi brought the two girls were effectively tipsy, just the right amount needed for them to relax a little and enjoy the night without having a hangover the next day.

"So how many boyfriends have you actually had?" Naomi slurred, moving onto her back on the sofa.

"Boyfriend-boyfriends or just…boyfriends?"

"Boyfriend-boyfriends."

It had never been an issue before, never mattered how many people she'd been with. Katie's heart started beating faster, she was nervous. "Well, err, I've kissed four boys but, none."

"You've had no boyfriends?" Naomi asked, obvious shock in her voice.

"No, not really. How many have you had?"

"Six." Naomi informed her, before tilting her head to the side. "No, Three; half of them weren't really boyfriends."

There was something easy about talking to Naomi, more so after a few glasses of wine. It was like they'd known each other for years and instead of telling a new friend about her experience, or lack of, she was instead reminding an old friend just how inexperienced she was.

"Why haven't you had any boyfriends?" Naomi asked.

Katie shrugged, "Guess it just didn't happen."

"So you're not a closet lesbian or something then?"

A scoff came out before she could stop it, "No, no. I like JJ."

"JJ?" Naomi laughed, rolling onto her front when Katie didn't laugh too. "You're serious?"

"He's sweet."

A laughter erupted in the room and though Katie thought it had come from Naomi, she was quickly surprised by the other presence in the room. She sat back against the chair, stunned.

*

_Emily_

"You like the college idiot?" Emily asked, a hand on her hip and her lips quavering with laughter.

Being nice was supposed to come easy, she wasn't a horrible person, at least she didn't think she was. But sometimes even Emily had to admit she took things a step too far. JJ wasn't an idiot. She was angry at her dad, frustrated that he'd keep something so big from her when they'd always been a team, a partnership.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?" Katie finally reacted, standing up. If it was anyone else Emily would have been slightly scared.

"We were bored, Panda overheard you two talking about this party, thought we'd come check it out."

"Emily, shut up!" Pandora tried, embarrassment flushing her face.

"You're not invited," Naomi snapped, standing up to join Katie. "You can't just break into people's houses."

"We brought vodka," Effy offered with a smile as though it made it alright, she handed Naomi an unopened bottle.

Even though Katie looked anything but happy about their arrival, the girl seemed to give in. Naomi didn't look convinced either, but Emily knew Effy could bring anyone round. The next thing they knew they'd started a game of 'I would never…'.

"I would never, have sex in a moving vehicle," Effy announced, taking a long swig of her drink.

Everyone else kept their hand fixed firmly on their glass as Katie took her turn. "I would never, erm, drink until I was sick."

Emily raised her eyebrows at the group and took a mouthful, an action copied by everyone but Katie. "You've never been drunk?"

"Not really."

"God you really are a fucking loser aren't you?" Her foot liked to live in her mouth, it was clear. Emily tried to put it down to the alcohol and her mood, but even she was sick of her unfair comments.

Ms Loser, as Emily had taken to calling Katie, didn't stick around. If it wasn't her own house she'd probably have left it, instead she just disappeared into the kitchen with a look of sorrow. There was sympathy, there was regret, but mostly there was an ever-growing level of stupor taking control of Emily's body.

"That was out of line," Naomi snapped. "We didn't ask you to come, you fucking break into her house and expect to treat her like that. You can fuck off."

The blonde left, followed in the same direction and it gave Emily an amount of satisfaction that she knew was unjustified. Pandora looked unimpressed and disappeared to use the bathroom. Emily was sick of people acting like she was the devil. She didn't care, she didn't care about any of them. The vodka bottle was still half full, she retrieved it from the floor and walked out of the room.

*

_Katie_

"What the fuck are they doing here?" Katie screeched, angry, frustrated and just sick of Emily Fitch being everywhere she turned.

"Whoa," Naomi reacted. "I've never heard you swear before, you don't really seem the type."

"I don't fucking care, she makes me bloody angry she does. She's well out of fucking line."

"Katie," Naomi tried. "It's okay. We can make them leave."

"And have them hate us forever?" Katie scoffed. "Sure, that's a well good idea."

"What else do you suggest?"

"Kill them?" Katie rolled her eyes.

Jenna was the kind of mother who only hugged her daughter when she was really upset. At age three Katie had fallen off her bike and twisted her ankle and she'd got a hug. At seven she broke her wrist horse riding and at fifteen she had her heart broken by a boy who didn't like her back. When Naomi's arms reached around her, it shocked her slightly. She wasn't crying, she wasn't broken, she was just angry.

"Wh, what was th, that for?" she stuttered, pulling away.

Naomi shrugged, "It's what friends do apparently."

Katie slid her arms around Naomi's waist and let her friend return the hold. They were friends, it was official. Katie had avoided calling it anything because she didn't really know whether Naomi saw it the same way as she did. In school her friends had been the same for years, so it wasn't really a problem. But starting college in a new town, she'd been worried that she wouldn't have handled meeting new people.

"Thank you," she smiled, pulling back again. "I appreciate it."

"Regardless of what Emily Fitch might think, you're a great person. She on the other hand is a fucking tit."

It wasn't easy to stop a chuckle following Naomi's comment. "I guess we should go back in there and tell them to leave."

*

_Emily_

The 'party' was boring. She didn't even want to fucking go, but Pandora had suggested it and for some reason Effy liked to "make Panda happy". It was annoying and though Emily knew that friends were few and far between, she wished that Pandora wasn't there and hadn't ever been there to get in the way. There were a number of doors upstairs, only one lay open, with a mattress on the floor. It was obviously Katie's. She didn't know why she did it, but slipped over the threshold.

"Snooping in other people's houses?" a voice asked, making Emily turn on the spot so fast that she nearly tumbled over.

"Careful," Effy smiled, reaching out to steady her.

"I think I'm a little," she began, her voice trailing off into the abyss.

"We should leave, give Naomi and Katie her house back."

"You fucking wimp."

Effy shook her head, "You really need to learn a few things about shy girls Emily. You can't bully them into doing what you want."

"Fuck off," she snapped, swaying a little too much after downing a long mouthful of vodka.

The room was spinning and though it should have made Emily feel sick, instead she felt like she was in the middle of a party, dancing on a dance floor. She screwed the cap back onto the bottle and threw it onto the neatly made bed. A hand slipped into Effy's and she was pulling her closer, dancing to the music that was in her own head. It was as though she'd taken something but she knew the only thing in her body was alcohol and it was making her feel great.

"You're fucking amazing Effy Stonem," Emily grinned, spinning her around, twirling her into her arms and running her hands down her hips.

"You're not too bad yourself," Effy replied and Emily could feel herself moving, her actions being controlled by Effy.

When the room slowed down and Effy's face stopped moving, Emily could see into those deep blue eyes. There were four of them, which just made it all the more beautiful. She wanted her, she wanted her so badly that it hurt. Effy's fingers were now on her shoulders and they were swaying, it was her chance and she was going to take it. Those rosy lips were inches away, she could almost tasted them on her tongue as she moved in. But as she moved in, the lips moved out.

"I'm not gay Emily," Effy replied, holding a hand out.

"I don't care," Emily grinned, trying again, but Effy was adamant, was pushing her away and if she wasn't so pissed off that she was being rejected, she would have actually enjoyed the physical touch of Effy's fingers on her skin.

"I do," Effy told her. "It means more to you than it does to me, I don't lead people on."

Humiliation, an emotion that Emily rarely felt anymore. Effy and Pandora had accepted her. Even Katie and Naomi, despite not being the best of friends, had accepted her as she came; gay and happy. But Effy's rejection knocked her for six, suddenly sobering up.

"I," she began, trying to say something, to justify her actions to avoid the humiliation. It was too late. She turned on her heal, abandoning the vodka bottle, abandoning Effy and abandoning the shield she thought she could put up.

*

_Katie_

"Eventful night," Naomi laughed when they finally slipped into bed.

"I think I drank well more than I should," Katie admitted, handing the empty vodka bottle to Naomi.

"Don't look at me, you wanted to have it."

The night hadn't been a complete disaster. Once they got back into the lounge; Emily was already storming out of the door, closely followed by Effy, which led to Pandora following suit. They'd turned on the Sex and the City movie which they barely watched as they made fun of the storyline. It was everything Katie had ever expected of a sleepover with someone she could consider a best friend.

"I can't believe Emily just left like that, I thought we'd be in for a well bad fight," Katie mumbled into the darkness.

"At least you don't have many lessons with her," Naomi rolled her eyes.

"I can't believe that idiot teacher put you two in a group assignment together, does he know you?"

"Obviously not," Naomi laughed, "It is only the end of the first week, can't really blame him for that, can you?"

There was a long silence, after Katie flicked the lamp off, that normally would have made Katie feel uncomfortable. It surprised her how easy it was to be silent with Naomi, for the need to talk not there, where it was in many other places in her life. She was a nervous talker, it was a fact. Which only made her realise that she was no longer nervous around Naomi.

"That's just reminded me, our assignment is due Wednesday. Emily and I organised to meet tomorrow to work on it," Naomi finally spoke, sounding anything but enthused.

"You have to spend time with Emily at the weekend?" Katie gasped. "I hope this teacher knows what torture he's putting you through."

"I know," Naomi sighed, rolling her eyes. "I can hardly wait."

*

_Emily_

Breakfast was awkward when Emily and Rob found themselves sat in the kitchen together. If Emily had a choice she'd have eaten in her room, but there'd been an unspoken rule as long as she could remember that food stayed downstairs unless someone was ill. She hated the rule.

"Turns out she can't do lunch today," Rob muttered into his cereal. "Her daughter has schoolwork."

"Yippee for her," Emily mumbled, trying to appear too engrossed in the newspaper, unsuccessfully. Her head was thumping and though it was her own fault for getting drunk, she still felt like feeling sorry for herself. The date at the top of the page suddenly signalled to her what day it was and her mood suddenly appeared clearer when she'd gone to the bathroom after breakfast. It was all she needed to make the dull day look even less appealing.

"When are you leaving Emily? I can give you a lift," Rob suggested, knocking on the bathroom door.

"Ten minutes," she replied, barely grateful.

The café they'd arranged to meet in wasn't as upmarket as Emily had hoped. The tables were stained with different colours, the chairs lacked comfort and the coffee tasted like lighter fluid.

"Thanks for choosing the worst café in Bristol," Emily moaned the moment the blonde arrived.

"Thanks for instantly disliking my choice," Naomi grinned a sarcastic grin.

"Guess we should get started," Emily sighed. "Though how you can fucking think without decent coffee in you is beyond me."

A more genuine smile reached Naomi's lips as she leant closer, it was an invasion of Emily's personal space, but she awaited whatever was coming next. "The coffee tastes like horseshit, but the hot chocolate is amazing and their bacon butties aren't half bad."

It felt like a white flag, or at least an olive branch and Emily didn't know why but it made her feel okay. She still didn't like Naomi, nor did she approve of the mix of colours in her outfit, or the obsession she seemed to have with buttons as jewellery. But Naomi had made an effort and even though she'd have sooner died than make one back, she figured it couldn't be so bad.

"We can't fucking say that, are you trying to get us in trouble?" Emily gasped.

How wrong could she have been. Within half an hour they'd set out a plan of defence for the five minute presentation they been asked to deliver. It seemed like Naomi was more interested in her political views than the historical event they were supposed to have researched.

"Didn't you read the chapters?" Naomi snapped, "It says it in the book, we're not going to get in trouble."

"Now I know you're having a laugh" Emily rolled her eyes. "And you're going to make me say it."

The book appeared in front of her as Naomi pointed to a paragraph, "See?"

Eventually they'd written something of a presentation and although Emily could barely repeat a single contribution she'd made that hadn't been shot down by Naomi, she was thankful for the day to be over. If she had to spend one more minute in Naomi Campbell's presence she would have been on the verge of suicide, at least on that day. They would no doubt have to review their plans during Monday's lesson, which was looking less and less appealing.

"Bye then," Naomi shouted after Emily as she walked towards the door and though she turned to nod at her work partner, she still avoided the actual words she knew would be more polite.

**Just so you're all clear, you can choose ****one**** Katie Option AND ****one**** Emily option.**

_**Katie Option 1**_**: Katie asks JJ out on a date due to his lack of contact after the kiss.**

_**Katie Option 2**_**: Katie has dinner with Naomi and her mum and is forced to answer questions she hadn't even thought to ask herself.**

_**Emily Option 1**_**: Emily makes a mess of the presentation with Naomi, resulting in tears. Emily meets her dad's girlfriend.**

_**Emily Option 2**_**: Emily takes her vendetta against Katie and Naomi a bit too far. Emily refuses to meet her dad's girlfriend.**

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICES!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thanks everyone for your reviews and votes, they really mean a lot. The options for this vote were really close - Emily's had a clear winner with option 1, but Katie's was very close with just 1 vote in it, option 2 won by the skin of it's teeth.**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Four**

_Katie_

Dinner at home was usually an eventful affair. For once Katie just wished her mother would treat it as a meal and not a special event. She'd never eaten in front of the television, except when her mum wasn't home. She'd never even eaten a microwave meal. If Jenna couldn't cook, she'd make sure a meal was already frozen beforehand. Even when she got ill she managed to whip something up or get her own mother to bring something over.

"I can't believe we're eating dinner in the kitchen," Katie gasped, watching Naomi drop a handful of knives and forks into the middle of the table.

"And that's so unbelievable because?" Naomi asked.

"Let's just say my mum's a dinner party kind of person."

Naomi just smiled, "Do you want to grab a couple of glasses?"

The meal was simple; Spaghetti Bolognese, just a typical meal that didn't have anything fancy in it. Katie tried to remember the name of the last meal she'd eaten, she couldn't even pronounce it let alone know what it was.

"Tuck in," Naomi's mum, Gina, announced, grabbing salt and pepper from the cupboard before sitting down.

The informality was strange, she'd never been told to just tuck in before. She'd always had to wait until everyone was seated and usually her mum wanted to say grace. It was like the eating process was prolonged as long as possible.

"So Katie," Gina smiled, "Naomi says you do history like her, do you like history?"

Katie shrugged, "It's alright. It's a shame we're not in the same class, but I do it when Naomi does politics."

"Oh yes, that is a shame."

Conversation was light, comfortable and easy to maintain. There were a number of people Jenna invited over to Katie's house that were difficult to talk to, not least her grandparents and her mum's boss.

"Naomi hasn't told me anything about your family, do you live with your mum and dad?"

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Mum, _I_ haven't even asked her that!"

Katie couldn't help but laugh, "It's okay. I live with just my mum."

"Like us," Gina grinned. "Do you see much of your dad?"

The question knocked Katie for six though there was no reason why it should. Why shouldn't someone ask if she sees her dad? It was hardly a strange question. But if she really thought about it, Katie could barely remember thinking about him at all in the last ten years. She'd asked her mum a number of times about him when she started school, since then she'd not bothered. It was strange that she'd never wanted to know, strange that she cared little about the man who gave her half of her genes.

"Erm, no," she replied, busying herself with the meal. "This tastes wonderful Mrs Campbell."

"It's Miss," Gina announced, "And please, call me Gina."

"Mum it's six thirty," Naomi interrupted.

Gina jumped to her feet, finishing off the last bite of her food, "Oh yes, I'd best be off, got a date."

The roll of Naomi's eyes suggested that she didn't really care much about her mum's love life, it made Katie smile. Her mum was so scheduled, regimented and in control she didn't even have time for men. Gina was a bit more scatterbrained and she liked that about her. If Katie could have chosen anyone else to be her mother, she'd have thought Gina would have been a nice one to have.

*

_Emily_

There was someone else in the kitchen when Emily went to get breakfast. She was blonde, pretty in a non-conventional kind of way and middle aged. It wasn't difficult to figure out who she was or what she was doing there. It would have made it easier if Rob had been in the room to introduce them. Emily hovered in the doorway, not wanting to enter her own kitchen. Thankfully her dad appeared behind her and rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Come and meet Gigi," he announced, forcing her into the room as he announced their arrival. "This is my daughter Gi."

The woman turned away from the newspaper in her hands, a grin on her face that looked too genuine to be authentic.

"Good morning! It's so lovely to finally meet you."

"Likewise," Emily mumbled, less enthused by the meeting. She took a seat at the kitchen table after retrieving her cereal and a bowl.

"Your dad tells me you go to college."

"Yeah," Emily replied, more interested in pouring her cereal than making small talk with the woman her dad was sleeping with.

"Is this your first year? My daughter is,"

Emily didn't care to interrupt Gigi when she tried to pour milk from the carton, "Did you finish this?"

"Oh yes, sorry."

"It was full last night," Emily moaned. "I can't drink cows milk, you shouldn't have used this one."

Gigi looked apprehensive, a glance between her and Rob signalling for him to help her out.

"Now now Ems, Gigi is a vegan, she doesn't drink cows milk either."

"It wouldn't kill her though, would it?" Emily snapped at her dad, blanking Gigi entirely.

"I'm sorry. It was a mistake. All I can do is apologise," she tried.

The pleas fell on deaf ears as Emily stood up and turned to her dad, "I'm going to college."

The hallway was like heaven compared to the kitchen. Until Rob appeared behind her.

"You need to stop being so rude Emily. I love her, can you at least make an effort?"

"She drank my milk!" Emily snapped, as if that was reason enough to be rude.

"She wasn't to know it was the last carton."

Emily rolled her eyes, "If you'd do the shopping on the weekend like everyone else, maybe she wouldn't make a fucking mistake."

"That is out of line Emily. You are going too far."

"No dad, you are. I tell you I want to meet her and you bring her home? I thought we agreed that you don't bring girls home."

"When you've spent a bit of time with her this will be her home too. I don't see what the problem is."

"You wouldn't," Emily snapped, picking up her bag and opening the front door. "You never do."

*

_Katie_

It had been just over eight days since the kiss with JJ. Seven days since she'd met him on the first day and another twelve hours, sixteen minutes since they kissed. In that time she'd had approximately eleven lessons with him and three more tutorials. But in that time she'd spoken to him for barely a minute. Every time she tried to after lessons he'd already left the room. It was like he was invisible, or a superhero who could transport from one place to another just by thinking about it. The early morning psychology lesson had ended and JJ was sat at the table in front. He'd arrived late and it was the only seat left. Katie packed her book back into her bag, keeping an eye on him at all times. She glanced away for merely a second to pick up her pen which had rolled onto the floor and when she'd looked up, he was gone.

"Jonah?" she called, grabbing for the rest of her things as she sprinted from the room. She wasn't going to let him hide from her again.

The corridor was busy; students were everywhere, in and out of classrooms, standing by lockers, talking in groups. It was the busiest time of the day when smokers attempted to smoke a whole cigarette in the minute they had before the next lesson. It was entertaining to watch, especially for someone who's next lesson was in the room next door. The week before she'd stood in the corridor watching the hair and beauty girls getting flustered about a stray hair or broken nail. On this occasion Katie was too busy chasing after the mop of brown hair that belonged to JJ.

"Jonah!" she shouted, her attempt to capture his attention fading into the crowd of noise. "JJ!"

Eventually the bell rang and the crowds cleared, leaving JJ and a few others in the corridor. It was a choice between talking to JJ and being on time for her lesson. As much as she wanted to speak to him, she couldn't be late. She turned around and rushed back down the corridor to her sociology room.

*

_Emily_

Emily was in a bad mood before she'd even set foot in college. Meeting Gigi hadn't gone how she'd expected, the whole thing had taken her by surprise and she'd let her default reaction control the situation. She didn't know why she disliked her so much, she actually seemed quite nice and interested in her life.

"Finally," Naomi snapped, holding out a printed sheet to Emily.

"I'm on time," Emily snapped.

"Not to meet me fifteen minutes early you're not."

Cursing under her breath Emily snatched the paper from Naomi. "I'm here, get over it."

"I had to change the part we couldn't figure out. I did some research last night and realised what we needed to put in."

"I hope that's your bit," Emily sighed, flicking through the pages.

"Actually it's yours. Sorry but it was needed. We'll lose marks otherwise."

"Thanks a lot," Emily rolled her eyes.

"What is wrong with you?" Naomi snapped. "This is our first assignment, don't you care?"

"It's not counting to our final mark, so not really," she admitted, nerves hitting her harder than she expected.

"Great, that's bloody great," Naomi moaned, pushing the classroom door open and walking inside.

They were third to present which didn't make Emily feel very good. She remembered back to her English oral piece for her GCSEs; she'd tried to do it on homosexuality and the effects of homophobia. It had been a great idea her teacher had said, one that she knew Emily could do with the passion needed to get a good mark. But the moment she'd stood in front of the class, the moment she'd spoken the word homosexuality and her stomach had begun doing back flips, her words came out in small, rasps that she knew were barely audible.

"Emily," Naomi was whispering through gritted teeth, her eyes staring her down.

The memory had taken over her attention, sent her into a daydream at the worst possible moment. Naomi's voice was like an alarm, waking her from a really good dream, but leaving her stood in a nightmare. There were several eyes staring at her, really staring her down, waiting for her to speak. Naomi's were the worst, they were like acid. The pressure was horrible. Emily knew she had to speak, to start presenting the part of the assignment that she had said she'd talk about. She'd practiced it for an hour in front of the mirror. The information was in her head, she didn't need the paper in front of her. Except that now the words that had previously been so clear were now a jumbled mess and her fingers were clutching so tightly to the sheet in front of her.

"I, err," she stumbled, trying to read the words on the page.

Twenty-twenty vision the optician had said at an eye test barely three months earlier, but the words on the sheet were just as jumbled as the words memorised. She couldn't breath, her lungs filling with something, perhaps her vocal cords. Naomi was beside her mumbling words of encouragement.

"I know you don't care about our marks but I do. Please Emily. It's not that hard."

It really wasn't that hard, or at least shouldn't have been. For Emily it was. Her hands were getting clammy and as much as she tried there really wasn't any hope of getting her voice to work. Shame, regret and every past attempt at doing a presentation filled her thoughts and she was moving. Her feet walking down the small walkway between the tables, the sheets of paper falling to the floor and Naomi's voice shouting after her.

*

_Katie_

"Did I ever apologise for my mum last night?" Naomi asked, standing beside Katie as she exchanged contents of her locker.

"It's fine really, I like her," Katie replied, turning to face the blonde.

"You like my mum?" Naomi questioned sceptically.

"Compared to mine she's brilliant," Katie admitted. "She did make me think about my dad though."

"Sorry about that, she seems to think that everyone wants to talk about their family. Hope she didn't overstep the mark, she never knows when to shut up."

The truth was, in the hours since the meal Katie hadn't been able to stop thinking about her dad, hadn't been able to stop questioning herself on why she didn't know more about him. He was half of her existence and she didn't even know what he looked like or what his name was.

"It's fine really."

"I know she's a flake," Naomi sighed, pulling her bag higher on her shoulder.

"You should try living with a control freak," Katie laughed.

Cook and Freddie walked past capturing Katie's attention as she searched for JJ in the crowd around them. He wasn't there. She couldn't believe she'd missed her only chance to speak to him.

"He always goes home early on a Wednesday," Naomi muttered.

"What?"

"I heard Cook say that JJ goes home early on Wednesdays, something to do with Autism."

"Oh."

Disappointed. That was what she felt. It had been strange at first, unfamiliar, but then she realised that she was disappointed. He was different, he was shy, but she'd hoped he wouldn't be the kind of guy to get what he wanted then ignore her. She wished he wasn't. The longer it went without talking to him, she doubted her hopes could be fulfilled.

"Guess he's still not spoken to you?" Naomi asked, Katie just shrugged.

She didn't really want to talk about it anymore, was sick of thinking about boys. If she could fall in love with one without needing to spend any time with him, she'd have been happy, but it wasn't possible.

"Have you seen Emily this afternoon?" Naomi whispered.

Katie frowned, "Why?"

"She walked out on our presentation, she just seemed to freeze up."

It shouldn't have made Katie roll her eyes, but it did. Naomi and her had formed a friendship after joining forces against Emily. Yes they'd had to work on an assignment together, but she didn't like the thought of Naomi feeling sorry for her.

"What does it matter?"

Naomi shrugged, "I dunno, she just seemed upset."

"I'm sure she's laughing about it with Effy Stonem," Katie mumbled, closing her locker.

Naomi laughed, "Yeah, sure you're probably right."

*

_Emily_

The was empty when Emily arrived home, she took a bar of chocolate from the fridge and sat down in front of the television. There wasn't anything on so she left on a kids show she used to watch. It was rubbish, but it made her feel a little better. Mascara stained her cheeks, she knew she looked more like a panda. Though the tears had dried up they were still hovering dangerously close to her eyelids. The chocolate brought a smile to her face as it melted on her tongue, her dad liked to make her feel guilty for comfort eating, which was why her chocolate was hidden underneath the beetroot. It was the one food Rob didn't eat, so the only thing she could disguise her weakness with.

"You better watch out or we'll be acting out this movie," Rob laughed.

Emily turned in her seat, her father's voice appearing out of nowhere followed by giggles of his girlfriend. It was the last thing Emily wanted, to be joined by the sickly couple.

"Oh good day love, didn't realise you were home," Rob greeted her.

It didn't escape Emily's notice that Rob's hand was resting on Gigi's lower back, his other hand holding a bag of popcorn. They looked in love, they looked happy. It should have made Emily happy, she should have greeted them with a smile and told them about her day.

"I'll leave you to it," Emily snapped, her mood anything but suitable to spend time with the two of them.

"Is everything alright love?" Rob asked, grabbing her arm before she could leave the room.

Emily shrugged him off, "I'm fine."

On the way upstairs the doorbell rang. Emily waited on the middle step, hoping someone else would answer it, but when Rob and Gigi's laughter came from the lounge she realised she would have to.

"Naomi?" Emily gasped, taken aback by the blonde's presence.

"Emily?"

Emily wiped at her eyes hastily. "Look about earlier I just wasn't feeling very well, you didn't need to turn up at my house."

Naomi looked just as confused, a hint of anger in her voice, "I'm not here to see you Emily, don't think I care that you walked out. I did fine on my own."

"Oh, then what are you doing here?"

"I must have got the wrong house," Naomi informed her, "I'm looking for my mum."

"And your mum would be here why?"

"Naomi!" a voice squealed. Gigi appeared, pushing past Emily and wrapping her arms around Naomi.

"Gigi is your mum?" Emily gasped.

A million thoughts came to mind, many questions she wanted to ask as her father's girlfriend's identity processed in her head. Naomi was her daughter, Naomi was Gigi's daughter. It couldn't be possible, there had to be a mistake. Naomi's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Gigi? What sort of nickname is that?" Naomi raised an eyebrow.

"Oh it's Robert dear, he likes to call me Gigi," Gina grinned.

"Wait," Emily demanded, "She's your mum? Tell me she's not your mum."

"No," Naomi snapped, realisation hitting her. "Mum! He's Emily's dad? Are you serious?"

"You two know each other?" Gina questioned, a huge smile on her face.

"Fucking hell!" Emily snapped, "Is this some kind of fucking joke because it's not funny."

"Think I'm laughing?" Naomi retorted.

"What's taking so long?" Rob asked, joining the three of them on the doorstep. "Oh hello Naomi, nice to see you again."

They knew each other. Of course they knew each other. Naomi's mum, Gigi, Gina, whatever her name, didn't seem like the type to keep her partner a secret. Not like Emily's dad. It was too much, too many things were going around in her head. It wasn't right, it wasn't. Emily was already in a bad enough mood, she couldn't deal with anything else, didn't want to deal with anything more.

"I'm going out," she whispered, her voice breaking with tears. She didn't want to cry, didn't want to give any of them the satisfaction. But sometimes tears were in control and as she ran down the street away from her dad, from the people who were forcing their way into her family, she wished she was back in London where she knew everyone and nothing ever surprised her.

**If anyone has any thoughts on where they're interested for this story to go feel free to let me know!**

**Just so you're all clear, you can choose ****one**** Katie Option AND ****one**** Emily option, so 2 choices altogether.**

_**Katie Option 1**_**: Katie finally tracks JJ down and they discuss their friendship.**

_**Katie Option 2**_**: Katie asks her mum about her dad with interesting consequences.**

_**Emily Option 1**_**: Emily goes to a party and gets completely wasted.**

_**Emily Option 2**_**: Emily returns home and doesn't speak to anyone.**

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICES!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews and for voting. You guys rock. Sorry it's taken me so long to write the next chapter. The winners were Katie asks her mum about her dad with interesting consequences and Emily goes to a party and gets completely wasted. Enjoy and don't forget to vote!**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Five**

_Emily_

In all of her years Emily had not once walked out of the house during an argument, had never really showed much of an interest in her father's love life. It was his business and Emily's was her own. Once in a while, particularly around her time of the month they'd get into a heated argument about whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher and every year they argued about what to do at Christmas and New Year. When Emily was mad she'd usually just slam her door shut. Rob on the other hand would go into the garage which he'd converted into a home gym. Emily had never received her dad's ability to work anything out in a work out which on this occasion infuriated her. There was Christmas a couple of year ago where they'd visited her uncle and her little nephew had requested they fight for the last piece of dessert on the Wii. At first it seemed an odd concept and an unfair one because she didn't play computer games, but the physical punching of the air against her opponent had been strangely exciting. She longed to be able to play the game, punch her opponent who she wished could have been Naomi or her hippie mother.

"Watch it!" someone called when she bumped into them, their shoulders colliding as Emily kept up a steady pace. She was too lost in thought to think about watching where she was going.

"Fuck off," she yelled back.

It was only September but the days were already getting cold. She regretted not taking her jacket, the temperature not suited to t-shirts anymore. Emily wrapped her arms around her sides, hugging her figure in the hope she could conserve her heat. She thought of where she could go or what she could do, but most things seemed too boring or just not an option. Eventually she set on calling Effy, which was also impossible she noted when she realised she'd also left without her phone and as much as she attempted to remember the eleven digit number she'd never taken the time to learn it. She didn't even know the new house number by heart.

"Fucking fucker," she screamed, kicking a small tree in a pot at the front of a house a few streets away.

The glare of an angry looking man from the window prompted a two finger salute before Emily turned a corner and focused her attention on getting as far away from the house as possible. She tried to remember the direction to Effy's house, took so many different turns until she finally came to a front door she only vaguely recognised and isn't even sure belonged to her brunette friend.

"Who the fuck is at the fucking door now?" came a shout from inside.

Emily cowered back from the front door as a balding, beer bellied, middle aged man answered the door, only a glare to greet her.

"Is, err, is Effy in?" she stuttered, conscious of the man's aggressive nature.

"Effy, someone for you at the fucking door. Fucking hurry up it's fucking freezing."

The man disappeared grunting something about proper attire in cold weather when Effy's smile appeared through the small gap she created between the open door and the wall.

"Alright Ems," she greeted her.

"Please tell me there's a party we can get absolutely fucked at," Emily replied, not interested in wasting time with hellos and how are yous.

Effy didn't reply, just turned her head slightly, "Bad day?"

"The worst, where we going?" Emily tried again.

It didn't take long before Emily was inside the house, the radiators filling the room with enough heat to warm up her body. Effy changed into something a little more revealing than the already low cut top she'd previously had on, handing Emily a dress that looked a down sight sexier than her 'I'm a lesbian, so you wanna kiss me or what?' t-shirt her dad thought it funny to buy her for wearing around the house.

"You're gonna pull tonight," Effy informed her and though she still didn't know Effy that well, she didn't doubt her words because Effy could get anyone she wanted and Emily suspected being friends with her would give her the same pleasure.

*

_Naomi_

Usually Naomi would have gone home or at least requested they leave at a reasonable time in the evening. But Rob had been sat in his kitchen twiddling his thumbs for the best part of a couple of hours and Gina had been on hand to make him tea and cook him a meal. Eventually they'd sat down together to eat pasta. Naomi enjoyed spending time with Rob, he'd stayed for dinner on several occasions particularly over the summer. The number of times he'd mentioned 'Em' his daughter, Naomi had always assumed her name to be Emma.

"How did your presentation go today?" Gina asked, creating conversation where there had previously only been silence.

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "It wasn't the best, I had to do most of it on my own."

"I thought you had a partner?" Gina questioned.

"I did," she paused. "It was Emily."

"Oh."

The conversation seemed to trail off while Rob stared at Naomi with concern. If he didn't look so scary with his eyes wide and his teeth grating together, she probably would have asked him what was wrong.

"Ems had to do a presentation?" he asked, thankfully taking over the conversation.

Naomi nodded. "She was supposed to, but she froze up. She ended up leaving before she'd even started talking."

Naomi had never seen a grown man look so sad, so weary as he shook his head at the two females. There were questions Naomi wanted to ask about Emily, things she wished to know. They didn't get along but as far as Naomi was aware that wasn't her direct fault. Emily had been anything but nice to her and Katie since the moment they met. Despite that Naomi wondered if knowing her better would help her to understand the horrible girl Emily appeared to sometimes be.

"No wonder she was so angry if she's had a bad day," Rob finally maintained, though Naomi suspected it was more to do with her being Gina's daughter than a confidence issues.

"You must know where she could have gone," Gina suggested. "She doesn't know this town very well, there can only be so many places she would end up."

Rob took a deep breath, his hands sliding through his thick hair, "I don't know. She doesn't talk to me as much as she used to. All I know is she's got a friend called Effy who she seems to love spending time with."

"I know Effy," Naomi offered, hoping to help her mother's boyfriend.

"Maybe you could ring her after dinner love?" Gina suggested.

Some people had a way of looking at others that made them know just what they were thinking. Naomi couldn't have been sure, she didn't know Rob well enough, but his face so full of emotion stared at her like a little puppy dog.

"I'll call now," she suggested, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she stood up and walked out of the room.

After several rings she could hear the familiar click of the call connecting. Naomi would normally have greeted the girl on the other end straight away, the loud music and general conversation seemed to fill the speaker which distracted her.

"Effy?" she eventually shouted into the phone.

"Who is this?" Effy's voice mumbled in response.

"Effy? It's Naomi, I'm trying to find Emily."

The other end of the phone went silence, aside from the beat of the music. Naomi could tell Effy was thinking, waited until the other girl spoke before explaining herself.

"She says she doesn't want to speak to you," Effy finally informed her.

"Then tell me where you are, her dad is worried about her."

The other end went silent again. Naomi rolled her eyes at the new Cheryl Cole song in the background, she'd never been a fan and didn't appreciate the informal hold music.

"Emily doesn't want to see you," Effy slurred. "But there's a party at Freddie's, you should come join us."

"Thank you," Naomi shouted back into her phone, hanging up without a goodbye.

Effy might have supported Emily's quest to piss everyone else off, she never seemed bothered by anything and was quite happy to give people drinks than stop them drinking more than they should. That was the impression Naomi had got from the brunette during the few college events they'd both been at. But tonight she found herself wondering if Effy Stonem cared more about other people than she made out.

*

_Katie_

Music played out over the sound system, a woman dressed in a blue dress that went to just below the knee walked down the catwalk, her slender legs twisted in a way that showed her professionalism. Katie sat beside her mother, smiling and sharing polite conversation with the woman and a couple of family friends.

"Do you like that dress?" Jenna asked, looking through the fashion show brochure. "Oh look they have it in your size."

The older woman held up her hand. Katie rolled her eyes. They often bought her clothes from charity fashion shows, decided it was a worthwhile way to spend their money, enjoy a night out together and still buy high street outfits instead of cast offs people picked up at charity shops. The dress didn't appeal to Katie though and as usual she let her mum get whatever she wanted, decided she'd deal with her opinions when she tried them on in the interval.

"Oh that sweater is gorgeous," Jenna announced. "Maybe I'll get one for myself."

"Mum?" Katie whispered, her voice barely audible over the loud music and conversation.

"What is it dear?" Jenna began, interrupting her before she could speak. "And that skirt, you would look beautiful in that skirt Katie."

There were two options; she could forget about the conversation Katie wanted to have, or she could continue talking anyway. When something was on her mind it seemed to consume most of her attention and the thought of leaving it any longer was unthinkable.

"I want to know about my dad."

Jenna coughed, choked on her own breath. Katie was thankful her mother hadn't picked up her glass of red wine or the white table cloth would be spotted beyond repair. The woman's brown eyes glared at her, turning to tiny slits full of frustration.

"If you just said what I think you said you can stop talking right now."

"But mum," Katie tried, the questions on the tip of her tongue. "I want to know. Just tell me his name, tell me who he is, then I can at least know a bit about where I come from."

"I said stop talking Katie, that means now."

Katie wasn't ready to give up without a fight, she'd come this far; was talking to her mum about someone neither had spoken about in years. She was adamant to get information, even if the woman that gave birth to her didn't want to talk about it. Unfortunately for Jenna, Katie was just as stubborn as she was.

"Do you know where he lives? Does he have anymore children? Do you think maybe I could visit him?"

"I said stop," Jenna snarled, banging her fist on the table top which caused her glass of wine to spill slightly over the sides.

"You can't keep this from me forever, he's my dad."

Jenna turned, her eyes locking Katie down until she felt herself withdraw, "This conversation is over."

There was nothing she could do. There was only so far Katie could push her mother before she had to back down. Jenna Fitch had spoken, the conversation was over.

*

_Naomi_

The house sounded exactly like it had on the phone, it smelled exactly like Naomi imagined it would smell and it looked worse than she ever thought possible. The first party of the year had been pretty tame in comparison. Two teenage boys who looked like they'd barely even hit puberty were dancing half naked on a small table, beers in hand. Naomi shook her head and searched the crowd as she pushed through it.

"Freddie? Have you seen Emily?" she asked, pushing the tall guy's hands off her waist as he attempting to dance with her, not even registering her question.

Most of the people in the room seemed off their face on alcohol or drugs. As much as Naomi supporting free will and the ability for people to make their own decision, she noted how frustrating it was to get anyone to help her when they were so in their own heads. Eventually she spotted Effy making out with some letch in a corner.

"Effy," she shouted over the music, failing to capture her attention. "EFFY."

The brunette barely looked at her before continuing to suck face with, who Naomi now realised was, Cook. She watched them until she caught Cook's hand slid under Effy's dress, his trousers seemed to have a life of their own. It was the last thing she wanted to think about, let witness.

"Emily?" she screamed into the crowd, knowing it wasn't going to be a successful way to find her. Several people stared at her as though she was wearing a bright fluorescent jacket and was asking them to be careful crossing the road.

Scanning the room for a final time Naomi noticed a pair of green shoes attached to someone's legs. The only person she'd ever met who wore green shoes was Emily. It had been one of the first things she'd noticed about the red head. They'd been sat in form together, Emily's legs crossed in front of her and those same green shoes standing out from a mile away. The worry building inside of her chest felt misplaced; she didn't care that much. She was only there because of Rob.

"Emily?" she muttered, kneeling beside her, tapping her lifeless cheek in the hope of waking her up.

It was difficult to figure out if Emily was just drunk, or if she was actually unconscious. Thankfully she shifted in her place on the floor and curled up into a ball. Naomi laughed as Emily pushed a thumb into her mouth.

"Come on sleeping beauty," she tried, lifting Emily up until she was sat against the wall. "You need to wake up now sweetie."

Rousing Emily enough to take her home was a chore she hadn't realised she'd have to undertake. Taking her home was something she wasn't too sure about anymore. Gina didn't mind Naomi drinking, even let her have a glass of wine once in a while with dinner. She had no idea what Rob thought about it.

"Emily, come on," Naomi tapped her face, trying to sober her up.

In the end she had to find something that didn't contain alcohol in the hope of forcing Emily to drink it with the aim of waking up her. Eventually Emily was sober enough to get to her feet, though wobbly, Naomi managed to support her as they stumbled out into the street. The whole process was very difficult but eventually they reached Emily's front door.

"Where am I?" Emily mumbled, falling against Naomi's shoulder, her left hand tugging on Naomi's chest as her knees gave way.

Naomi just rolled her eyes, "Keep your hands to yourself."

Sometime between leaving the house and arriving back there with Emily, Gina and Rob had gone to bed. A note was stuck to the kitchen door, where Naomi forced Emily into a seat and turned on the kettle to make her a coffee.

"Mummy?" Emily sighed, leaning against her arms.

It became obvious to Naomi that there was no point trying to sober Emily up further. She quickly scanned the note, rolling her eyes at the thought of the bed made up in Emily's room before stumbling through the house again acting as a crutch for Emily. Eventually Naomi dropped her onto the bed, sliding her under the covers and pulling off her shoes.

"Thanks mummy," Emily replied, her eyes already closed and her body already settling into a sleep.

As Naomi lay in the sofa bed on the other side of the room she wondered what she'd got herself into. Twenty four hours before she had been preparing for a presentation, Emily was a girl she disliked and her mum was blissfully happy. Now she was on the verge of gaining a roommate who hated her, a near step-father who loved his daughter dearly and a life where she looked out for someone she didn't even like.

*

_Katie_

With sixteen items of clothes in the back of the car and a bottle of wine they'd won in the raffle, Katie and her mum were on their way home. The rest of the evening Katie had spent in near silence, sulking as her mother had called it. Jenna had barely acted any differently, so much so that Katie wondered if she'd forgotten what she'd asked of her.

"Tomorrow I have a hair appointment at the house, if you'd like Naomi to come over that's fine with me," Jenna informed her.

"Right," Katie whispered, watching her mother, searching for the best way to re-approach the subject of her dad.

"Don't stare, it's rude."

The morals Jenna had instilled in Katie had stayed with her all of her life. She didn't mind being polite or respecting those older than her. She wasn't really bothered when she was reminded to say thank you and not thanks, or yes instead of yeah. They were small things that didn't effect her life too much. They were the things she was thankful to her mother for.

"Why can't I ask about my dad?" Katie attempted, causing Jenna to turn to look at her daughter momentarily before pulling the car in to the side of the road.

"This is not the time, nor the place," Jenna snapped.

"You didn't need to stop the car," Katie pointed out. "I just want to know."

"I have told you that information is not for your ears."

Katie took a deep breath, "And I have told you that I have a right to know."

Jenna's eyes narrowed, glaring at Katie as though she'd said all of the swear words under the sun in quick procession. Normally Katie would have backed down at the look on Jenna's face, physically and emotionally shrunk into a corner in fear. But she'd had a glass of wine whilst her mother tried on some clothes and the alcohol was making her feel more confident.

"How dare you speak to me like that," Jenna admonished, her eyes narrowing further.

"I'm not a child mum," Katie snapped, "I need to know who my father is, I deserve that much after all these years of letting you not talk about it."

The woman in front of her, her mother, seemed to sink into her seat deflated by the confrontation. It was the first time for as long as Katie could remember that she'd seen her mother look so small, so fragile.

Jenna's lips pursed together, "Your dad died when you were a baby."

"Oh," Katie whispered, the news shocking her beyond belief, her voice growing quieter. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Why act like it's some big secret?"

"It was very difficult and I don't want to relive it. If you don't mind I ask that you never bring it up again."

A number of questions filled Katie's brain, she wanted to promise her mother she'd not discuss it in the future. But every thought that passed through her mind made it difficult to ever say yes. Katie let her head move, nodding slightly, enough to get her mother off her back as Jenna started up the car. She felt an overwhelming level of grief take over and even though she was watching her mother driving the car, she realised she didn't know her as well as she'd always thought she did.

*

_Emily_

Every hangover Emily had ever had seemed to have returned, rolled into one, creating an ultimate pounding sensation in the middle of her forehead. She felt sick, could vaguely remember waking up in the middle of the night to be sick, could still smell the pungent smell that she noticed was in her hair. She could barely open her eyes as she slid out of her bed and into a steaming shower. The water sprayed out upon her, running along every inch of her body, waking her up from the dazed feeling inside her brain. The second she reached her bedroom she dropped her towel and started to dry off her legs but as she pulled herself up until she was stood completely upright she noticed a blonde head blinking at her from the sofa bed.

"Fuck," she squealed, retrieving the towel and wrapping it around her as she reacted to Naomi's presence.

Naomi slid out of the bed and rolled her eyes, "Thanks for the full frontal."

"You fucking pervert, get out of my fucking room," Emily screamed.

"Oh that's fucking wonderful isn't it," Naomi sighed. "Thanks for being so grateful for saving you last night."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Emily asked, her memory still pretty hazy. "I didn't need saving from anything."

"No," Naomi muttered. "You needed saving from yourself. Just so you know, I can still see your tits."

Emily looked down and quickly pulled the towel back up over her breasts, hugging it tightly around herself as her face flushed deeply. To say she was embarrassed would have been an understatement.

"What the fuck are you still doing in my fucking room?" Emily shouted, glaring at Naomi.

"I stayed here, your little disappearing act meant I had to sleep in your fucking room after dragging you home," Naomi retorted, glancing around with a disapproving smirk.

"Who the fuck even asked you to?" Emily snapped, scared to move through fear her towel would slip again. "You're not my fucking mother."

"Really?" Naomi asked, chuckling. "You seemed to enjoy calling me mummy last night whilst you were sucking your thumb."

If she hadn't been completely naked underneath her towel Emily would have thrown her pillow at the blonde. Instead she just grunted loudly.

"Get out then," she snarled. "I need to fucking get dressed or we'll be late for college."

"We?" Naomi raised an eyebrow. "If you think I'm walking with you then you're sorely mistaken."

"As if I want to walk with you either," Emily snapped. "You fucking tell anyone about this and I'll snap your neck."

Naomi pretended to shake her knees, "Ooh, I'm so scared."

The blonde picked up her clothes and left the bedroom, mumbling to herself. Emily sat down in her chair, still conscious of her nakedness as she warily slid on her clothes. She'd never had to be careful before. Her dad knew not to come near her room in the mornings. All thoughts of Naomi were pushed aside as the drumming in her head took over and she found herself wondering how much longer she had until she could tuck herself back up in her bed and forget everything around.

**Choose TWO options; one Katie, one Emily.**

_**Katie Option 1**_**: Katie starts to research her dads death, with the help of JJ.**

_**Katie Option 2**_**: Katie goes around to Emily's where Naomi has arranged to meet her.**

_**Emily Option 1**_**: Emily makes Naomi's life difficult when Gina/Naomi move in with Emily/Rob.**

_**Emily Option 2**_**: Naomi and Emily are forced to spend a couple of hours together in Emily's room when Gina and Rob have a heated argument.**

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICES!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you all for your reviews and votes. It was another touch and go chapter for a while there. But the winnings options were as follows Naomily forced to spend time together when their parents get into a fight and JJ helps Katie research her dad. I am struggling to enjoy writing the Katie side of this fic at present, if you have any ideas on what could help make it more entertaining, feel free to share them. If you're enjoying this story please leave a comment. :-)**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Six**

_Emily_

The last thing Emily wanted to do was sit and talk to her dad. The pounding in her head was getting worse, the shower only helping for a few minutes. Naomi's presence in her room irritated her and not just because she'd seen her naked. It made her more annoyed that Rob wanted to talk to her in front of Gina who was making eggs.

"I have college," she tried to stand up, but he wasn't having any of it.

"Sit down, right now."

She sat, she waited for her father's aggressiveness to die down into the usual warning, sympathetic tone it usually did.

"Emily, what happened yesterday is not on. I can't have you go out and not tell me where you are."

"You were busy," she snapped. "What did it matter?"

"I worry about you Emily, after…"

The deep hazel eyes always worried her. He would use them to his advantage; when he wanted her to do something and particularly when he wanted to say something without having to say it at all. His eyes looked hollow and shattered.

"I'm fine," she assured him, feeling her hands shake in her lap.

Rob looked from Emily to Gina, cautiously. They never usually had to be careful about what they said. It never mattered. But with Gina in the room it made the whole conversation a little bit harder. Rob still looked at her, stared into her eyes until she looked away.

"I want you to know that I love you," he continued, the conversation taking the usual direction. Rob could never shout at her, could never discipline her without telling her he loved her and checking that she was okay.

"Can we talk alone?" Emily asked, rubbing her hands together, trying to stop them shaking so much.

"Gina love," Rob turned in his seat. "Could you leave up alone for a few?"

The more time Gina spent in their house the more reasons Emily had to not dislike her. She was friendly, she cooked and she didn't seem to say no to requests for father/daughter time.

"What is it?" Rob questioned the moment Gina had left the room. "Is this about...?"

Emily shook her head with a small smile, "Nothing like that."

"Gina?"

"It's not that she doesn't seem like a nice woman. This whole thing has come as a shock, finding out that Gina is Naomi's mum."

"Why should that matter?" Rob asked, pulling one of Emily's hands into his own.

"I don't like her dad. We don't get along."

"Oh," he seemed surprised, more so than Emily expected. "Are you sure it's both ways? She seemed like she cared last night when she tried to find you for me."

"I don't know why she did that, but she doesn't like me as much I don't like her."

"Let me ask you a question," Rob began. "Are you ready to have Gina and Naomi come live with us?"

"No," Emily admitted, feeling Rob's hand tighten around her own.

"Okay."

There was nothing else to be said on the subject. Rob had taken her opinion on board but decided to leave it there. He could have tried to persuade her otherwise, but he didn't.

"If we're done I should go to college."

"We're not," Rob informed her. "What happened yesterday with your presentation?"

Emily rolled her eyes and sighed, "Did Naomi tell you?"

"She was worried Em, she thought it might have been part of the reason you left."

"She should mind her own business," Emily snapped.

She was already sick of Naomi being there, sick of being forced to spend time with her when she didn't want to. It made her not want to spend time with her dad, which made her frustrated. She usually enjoyed doing so.

"Emily, don't be like that."

"Like what? I'm sick of that bitch interfering with my life. It has nothing to do with her."

Rob looked tired as he ran a hand through his hair, "I'm going to ask you one more time, are you okay?"

Emily could feel her anger growing. "For fucks sake dad, yes. I wouldn't, if that's what you're implying. I just wouldn't, not anymore."

"Okay," Rob replied, maintaining calm despite her outburst.

"I have to go to college," she muttered, standing up and leaving her dad alone in the kitchen.

*

_Katie_

The issue of her father was closed and despite the hope of reopening the issue with Jenna, all hopes were dashed when she reminded Katie that they wouldn't talk about it, before she could even start. Since then Katie had put herself in a right mood, she didn't really want to talk, nor did she find herself wanting to care much about anything.

"My mum's boyfriend is Emily Fitch's dad."

That was until she met up with Naomi at lunchtime. They'd eaten lunch, chatted infrequently about the food and their lessons. There was obviously something on Naomi's mind just as much as there was on Katie's own. The exchange of books at her locker was supposed to be a simple process, void of thought and confusion. Until Naomi finally started a new conversation.

"What?"

Naomi bit her lip, was stood leaning against the lockers with a straight face, she seemed barely phased by the concept. Katie couldn't believe how calm she was being.

"I ended up having to drag her out of a party at Freddie's because she disappeared without her phone or money, her dad was really worried."

Katie could feel her face flush, "You went to get her from some party?"

"I had to," Naomi admitted. "Her dad was broken, I couldn't watch a grown man cry."

It made sense, perfect sense and there wasn't really much that Katie could have said on the subject. She just shrugged and tried to push the image of Naomi helping Emily out of her brain.

"What did you do last night?" Naomi asked, picking up a pencil that rolled out of Katie's locker.

"Charity fashion show with mum, she spent too much money on clothes I didn't even like," Katie sighed, closing the locker.

"Was it fun?"

"It was eventful."

"How?" Naomi questioned.

"I asked her about my dad and she nearly bit my head off," Katie admitted.

The friendship was still relatively new and Katie knew little about Naomi and her home life. Naomi knew not much more about her own. Naomi fell into step beside Katie as they walked down the corridor towards the entrance. Smoking wasn't really something Katie liked to do, but she found herself gathered amongst the groups outside whilst Naomi lit up.

"Did you find out anything?" Naomi questioned.

"She told me he died," Katie divulged, not even sure how she felt on the whole subject.

She hadn't expected her father to have died, but the thought of him being dragged away from them was far better than the images she'd had of him walking out on them. It redeemed him in her overactive imagination and made her feel a little better about all the times she'd hated her mum for keeping him away.

"Harsh," Naomi whispered, breathing out a stream of smoke. "What you got next?"

"A free."

"Great!" Naomi rolled her eyes. "Wish I could join you, instead I get to sit in a room with a bunch of people I don't even know and Emily whilst the teacher tries to tell us about the history of this fine country."

Naomi's sarcasm amazed Katie, always made her laugh and she was actually quite thankful for it. It could break through any icy moment, seemed to be able to settle her when she was feeling nervous.

"I'll be in the computer room, I might see you there when you're finished?" Katie checked.

"Sure."

*

_Emily_

The worst thing about walking out of your lesson when you're meant to be doing a presentation, is going in the next day having to face everybody. A number of people were whispering to each other, Emily could hear her name amongst muttered comments. It was still only the second week. Nobody even knew her, she found it really unsettling that they were already making judgements.

"Emily, wait a minute," the teacher called when the lesson was over. It had dragged on and though it was important that Emily actually listen, she found it difficult to stay focused.

She hovered by the doorway for a moment before returning to the front of the room. It didn't escape her notice that Naomi was still there, seeming to take twice as long to pack up her things.

"It's about the presentation."

"I'm sorry I left yesterday," she informed the teacher, rushing forwards with her thoughts.

"I'm sure you are, but it's not an excuse. What happened?"

Sickness, that Emily suspected was coming from her hangover, was rising up in her stomach. She felt weakened, teary and struggled to find what she needed to get the woman off her back

"I didn't feel well," she mumbled, staring at a stain on the carpet.

"I would like you to do it again next lesson, on your own."

The thought of actually having to do the presentation, especially on her own, made her feel worse. Emily moved her hand to her head and rubbed the throbbing headache that was returning. She wanted to walk out, just leave before anything could be decided. She took a step backwards and could feel herself almost keel over, instead reached for the desk in front of her as tears threatened to fall.

"I don't think that's fair," a voice piped up, Naomi.

Emily wanted to look back to the girl stood behind her but she could barely breathe let alone move.

"Excuse me?" the teacher sounded livid.

"Emily did the work, I should know. Just because she didn't present it, it's not marked so why make her do it?"

Naomi was being nice. It was Emily's cue to be nice back, to just accept Naomi's offer of support. To show Naomi that she wasn't a cold, hard bitch. Instead she clenched her fists, felt angrier than she had all day.

"I don't need your help," she snapped, swallowing tears. "I don't need you to do this."

Naomi just rolled her eyes and continued to persuade the teacher to let her off. Emily should have been grateful that the woman let her off, after agreeing that she'd done enough. Instead she gathered herself together and rushed for the door, feeling quite unsteady on her feet.

"Emily?"

Naomi couldn't seem to leave her alone, instead was following her, kept following until she disappeared into a toilet cubicle. The moment she was behind closed doors she let the building tears fall, wished she could stop the sound that came with them.

"Emily?" Naomi whispered, the shadow of her feet appearing below the door.

"Leave me alone," she cried out, wiping her tears only to have more fall.

"I don't want to do that."

It was confusing. They didn't even like each other, would sooner never see each other again, but Naomi was more persistent than Emily thought she'd be.

"I think you need to stop pushing people away."

"I only push the people away I hate," she shouted, wished she hadn't said it at all when Naomi didn't go.

"Emily, please, I was just trying to help in there. You looked about ready to collapse."

"I'm fine."

"Sure you are," Naomi replied sounding less than convinced. "For once just be grateful and stop being a bitch about everything."

"You don't fucking know me," Emily called out. "Stop acting like you do."

"There's only so much a person can do, I'll see you around."

The room grew silent before the sound of the door closing reached her ears. The tears increased and she wished she could have just been nicer to Naomi. She didn't like her, didn't think she'd ever like her. But with her absence she noticed how alone she was, not just right there but generally. There was Effy and Panda, but neither of them knew her, no one knew anything about her.

*

_Katie_

The only spare computer in the computer room was beside JJ. He looked about ready to cry as Katie sat down, barely mumbled a greeting in response to her own. She smiled, found herself attracted to his coy behaviour and wondered why they were still pussyfooting around when he obviously liked her as much as she liked him.

"Are you ever going to ask me out?" she questioned, feeling brave, until the words were out there and her confidence deflated.

"I, well, I don't, really, well," JJ stuttered, stumbling over his words.

She rested a hand over his, "Jonah, just a yes or a no."

"Y, y, yes," he replied.

The half hour that followed was silent. Neither of them spoke, both focused instead on their computer screens and the work they were doing. After a while Katie sat back, sighing at her failures, she glanced across to JJ's screen. He was typing what appeared to be code into a document; words and symbols that just confused Katie.

"What are you working on?" she questioned.

"Website design for computing," he informed her, opening the file in a web browser turning the code into pictures and writing.

"Wow."

She questioned him about it, asked him how much he knew and enjoyed the exchange of conversation. It flowed freely, the previous issues they'd had with words not present.

"Don't you have work to finish?" JJ asked, pointing to her computer screen that lay untouched for a period of time.

She shrugged, "I can't figure out what I need to do."

"What are you trying to do?"

"Find my dad."

"Is he lost?" JJ asked, sounding less intelligent than he usually did.

Katie just laughed. "No, he died when I was a baby. I wanted to try and find out more about him."

"Have you tried the Births, Deaths and Marriages and Census information?"

"How would I do that?" she asked, not really sure.

Despite the reservations that JJ had gone off her, or was simply not confident enough to push forward with any sort of a relationship, he became a starring role in her search for information on her father.

"How do you know all of this?" she asked him, clicking through a number of census pages. "I didn't even know this stuff existed, let alone that you could access it online."

JJ smiled, "I once researched my family tree, I got all the way back to 1867."

"Wow."

The information, or lack of, that they'd found on her father was nowhere near detailed enough. They didn't have a name, or anything for that matter. It hadn't surprised JJ too much as he'd told her from the start that they needed his name to really find anything concrete. It was a little disappointing.

"I guess I'll find a way," she informed him, logging off the computer and packing up her bag. "Are you walking home?"

JJ looked petrified, seemed to change from confident to worried within seconds. "I, err, well if I'm positively sure about my future wareabouts I would say that I was planning on catching the bus into town before going home because I wanted to stop by a shop to buy the new Grand Theft Auto game."

The random speech made Katie laugh. JJ was strange in a good way, he talked about things that nobody else seemed to care about and carried on talking long beyond most people would stop listening. Katie didn't. She enjoyed listening to his voice.

"Would you like to walk with me for a bit?" she questioned, resting a hand on the back of his chair. "To the bus stop."

He accepted her offer and soon enough they were walking together towards the bus stop. JJ informed her that he usually caught the bus at a stop further along the road because it was served by more routes, which made perfect sense and though should have bored her, actually made her feel quite happy to be chatting with him. Katie noticed their hands touching, brushing past one another as they walked, until JJ's fingers were carefully slipped around hers. She squeezed back, excited at the simple touch, the slow movements of their relationship enough to keep Katie happy. They shared a small smile the moment they reached the bus stop. A bus was waiting, the door open and a number of people got on.

"I need to get this one," JJ informed her, still holding her hand.

Katie felt her cheeks flush as she leant up and kissed JJ gently on the lips, a small peck that didn't go any further. "Thank you for your help."

JJ nodded to her, pulled his hand away as he stepped onto the bus. He showed his pass, but stopped in the doorway, reaching out to Katie's hand as she stood waiting for the bus to leave. He was pulling her towards him and before she knew it she could feel his soft lips pressing against her own, his fingers reaching around her head and their tongues played together. Katie had her eyes closed and when JJ's touch disappeared she continued to stare into the darkness of the back of her eyelids. When she finally opened them again, JJ and the bus were gone.

*

_Naomi_

The last thing Naomi really wanted after her day, after her run in with the more vulnerable than anyone realised, Emily Fitch, was go to her house. The note on the kitchen table suggested she follow her mother to the Fitch house because there wasn't any food in and she probably wouldn't be home until late anyway. Despite liking the idea of spending the evening alone and ordering a pizza, Naomi didn't have any money and really wanted to discuss the animal rights protest that they'd been invited to in that days post.

"Oh for fucks sake," Emily groaned as soon as she'd opened the door. "I should have known you wouldn't be far behind with that hippie mother of yours being here."

"Hippie?" Naomi laughed. "You obviously have no idea what a hippie is, do you?"

"Why don't you just go back to your commune?"

"Now hippie insults," Naomi giggled. "I'm beginning to think you're just not very clever."

"Time for you to go home Naomi."

She rolled her eyes, not caring that Emily was so obviously annoyed at her presence, actually made her want to stick around longer. "Not until I've seen my mum."

The red head looked livid when Naomi pushed past her and continued down the hall to the lounge. It might not have been her house, nor did she even feel that comfortable there but the thought of Emily disliking it was too much to not do it.

"Come in then why don't you," she called after Naomi who grinned.

Rob and Gina were lay together on the sofa. It was like catching two teenagers making out. Rob's hand slipped out from under Naomi's mum's shirt and he quickly sat up to hide his growing excitement. Gina looked embarrassed, her face flushed as she straightened out her top.

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Please!"

It was her worst nightmare, behind catching them doing almost the same but without clothes.

"Naomi, I," Gina began but Naomi cut her off.

"Please will you give me some money so that I can go home and get away from this and that cow."

"Don't talk about Emily like that," Rob snapped, his eyes glistening with rage.

Naomi couldn't believe how scary he looked, how defensive and protective of his daughter. She'd only called her a cow, she was instantly grateful that she'd held back on calling her a fucking bitch because she suspected Rob might have actually hit her, or come very close.

"Maybe you should tell that to her," Naomi muttered. "Mum?"

"I don't have any," she replied, the last thing Naomi wanted to hear.

"I need to do my homework and I need the internet," she tried.

"You can use ours," Rob offered, standing up, his angry expression suddenly gone.

Naomi followed him through the house until they were stood outside Emily's bedroom. It was not what she'd expected and the moment Rob asked his daughter to let her use her laptop, it appeared Emily wasn't too thrilled either.

"I do have my own homework you know," she snapped.

"History?" he asked, prompting a small nod from Emily. "Looks like you can do that together."

The look in Robs eyes suddenly appeared in Emily's. It was easy to see how they were related by their expression of anger.

"But dad!" Emily tried, before being interrupted.

"It'll do you both good, about time you two started getting a long if we're going to be living together."

Naomi bit her lip, wondered if she had a right to request they not live with the Fitch's since discovering that Emily was Rob's daughter. She knew it was selfish, but the thought crossed her mind as Emily vocalised her own rejection of the possibility.

"I thought you were changing your mind, I thought you were going to tell her we can't live together."

Rob shook his head, "I didn't say that Emily. I know how you feel about this. I am going to delay it, but not forever."

"You're going to what?

Naomi turned to find her mother stood behind them, Rob and Emily also staring at her. She looked upset, her eyes were glossing over and Naomi sensed a bomb about to explode. Gina was a relatively calm person, but lying to or rejecting her in any way seemed to provoke a particularly bad reaction. She suspected it was to do with her dad, the infamous man who left her when he found out she was expecting Naomi.

"I thought," she continued. "I thought we were still doing it."

Rob reached his arms out, tried to pull her into them but she pushed him back. Naomi bit her lip; her thoughts contradicting themselves as she felt happy at her mum's rejection of Rob, but saddened by the fact they both looked devastated.

"Don't you do that Robert Fitch. Not until you explain to me what you mean."

"I don't want to rock the boat," he told her.

"Rock the boat? Rock the bloody boat? It's a bit late for that."

She walked away, a fast walk where she was almost running as she disappeared from sight. Rob just shrugged at the two of them before following her.

"You don't want us to move in with you," Gina screamed, the discussion becoming particularly loud within moments.

"Don't raise your voice at me," Rob shouted back, giving as good as he got.

"I'll do what the hell I like, won't have any man telling me what to do."

Before Naomi could react to the situation Emily's bedroom door slammed in her face. She knew it rude, an invasion of privacy, but she opened the door and entered the room uninvited. Emily was sat on her bed surrounded by worksheets and handouts, a number of files carefully labelled. It made Naomi want to smile. Emily had an uncontrollable, disorganised feel about her. When they'd worked on the presentation she'd turned up with a pile of papers that she had to search through three times just to find one single thing.

"Filing?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm organising my subjects," she replied. "Get out of my fucking room."

"Not a chance," Naomi retorted. "I need to do some research and since my mum is otherwise engaged I have to do it here. Rob said this is your only computer, so I guess I get to use it."

Emily looked ready to argue back when the parents' fight seemed to travel through the house again, stopping them both in mid-thought.

"You think I don't want to move in with you?"

"Why would you? You have a bloody good home, you don't need to move into this one."

"Maybe you should move in with us instead then."

"And that's going to solve this problem how?"

A song covered up the argument, fading out their parent's voices the moment Emily had pressed the play button on her stereo. Naomi gave her a slight thankful smile, which was returned by a roll of Emily's eyes.

"Wonder how long we'll be stuck in here," Naomi muttered.

Emily shrugged, "It's too long as it is."

"Funny," Naomi rolled her eyes.

The next hour seemed to consist of silence, bar the music and the distant sound of shouts and screams. Naomi focused on her research, put all of her attention into what she was looking at. It was the only way she could keep sane with Emily sat across the room from her. It was distracting. Emily appeared to be doing anything she could to annoy her; clicking her pen, sighing heavily, changing songs that she really liked. It was infuriating.

"We have glasses in the bathroom, do you want some water?" Emily asked as she opened her bedroom door. Naomi just nodded, accepting the offer graciously.

Taking the glass from Emily, Naomi stood up and perched on the edge of the red head's bed. Emily seated herself back in the middle of her papers, though stared at Naomi the moment she sat down until she finally asked what she was looking at.

"Why are you over here?"

"I wanted a break," she admitted.

Emily sounded annoyed, as usual, "It's bad enough that you're in here, stay over there. And watch what you're doing with that water, you're spilling it on my duvet."

A few droplets had landed on the sheets, soaking a small patch of water into the material. Emily was overreacting and by her usual mood, it made Naomi feel like playing around. She dipped her fingers into the glass and sprayed them at Emily. Her brown eyes stared back, burning a hole into her blue ones as the water soaked into her clothes.

"You fucking didn't," Emily screamed out, standing up and moving around her bed.

Naomi stood up, curious about Emily's next actions. She didn't expect it when it hit her, a whole glass of water splashing across her face, dripping down her hair and off of her nose onto her clothes and the carpet. The adult thing to do would be to ignore it, to go to the bathroom and dry off. But Naomi wasn't feeling very adult, was feeling quite childish and cheeky as she threw the water from her own glass across at Emily. It flew through the air, landing perfectly on Emily's bottom half.

"You bitch!" Emily cried out, rubbing the wet material. "Get out of my fucking room!"

It was going to take a lot more than a few words for Naomi to leave. Instead she folded her arms, bit her lip and raised her eyebrows. In the end Emily scowled, requested that she turn away so that she could change. Naomi twisted on the spot, angling herself so she could still look out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't sure why she did it, but she watched as Emily stripped down, her pasty legs travelling down from a pair of yellow girlie boxers.

"You fucking pervert," Emily snapped, noticing Naomi glancing in her direction.

There was no denying it, Naomi had looked. Emily knew she'd looked and Naomi knew Emily knew she'd looked. She didn't say anything, didn't argue, just sat back down at the computer desk as she wiped her wet face with her hands. Her chest was tightening. She glanced across the room as Emily tucked herself back up on the middle of the bed, her skirt replaced by a pair of pyjama bottoms.

"What are those marks on your legs?" Naomi whispered, her voice painfully quiet. She was cautious, not really sure how to approach the subject, just had to ask.

Emily acted dumb, frowned at her, "What marks?"

"What marks?" Naomi scoffed. "I know you're a bit dim at times, but nobody is that dim."

"Fucking shut up," Emily retorted, defensively.

Naomi sighed, "I'm not trying to pry. I thought I saw something this morning, I just wanted to see if my eyes were seeing things."

The brown eyes Naomi had become quite familiar with in recent days were not easy to see. Emily was staring down at her bed, picking on a piece of thread on her duvet. She was avoiding her, doing her best not to look at Naomi.

"You don't have to tell me," Naomi offered, returning her attention to the laptop in front of her.

"Thanks," Emily whispered, returning her own attention to the files and sheets on her bed.

**Choose TWO options; one Katie, one Emily.**

_Katie Option 1_ - Katie drinks a little too much at a party and makes a mistake that could cost her a possible relationship.

_Katie Option 2_ - Katie decides to search Jenna's room in the hope of finding something more about her dad.

_Emily Option 1 _- After pushing away everyone, Emily finds herself alone.

_Emily Option 2_ - The Fitchs/The Campbells spend the day together.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICES!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you all so much for the reviews. This chapter has taken me all day (well all evening), I've put a lot into this and I hope it's a good one. It's probably the longest I've written. Fingers crossed that you'll like it...even if you vote, don't forget to leave a little comment. ^_^**

**Warning: This chapter contains actions that some may find difficult.  
**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Seven**

_Emily_

Exposed. Bare. Naked. The college canteen was bustling with people queuing for food, a couple of teenage boys throwing chips at a table of beauty students, the gang sat around eating and conversing freely. It was the one place Emily was supposed to feel safe and protected, the only place she thought she had left where she didn't have to worry. Cook was talking a mile a minute about some "fit bird", his arm wrapped around Effy's shoulder. JJ was sending glances down the table towards Katie; and Naomi, Naomi was staring at her. It made her feel uneasy, exposed what was underneath the surface, what Naomi knew too much about.

"Got a fucking spliff you dick?" Cook grinned, ruffling Freddie's hair and kissing Effy until a rolled joint landed on the table in front of him.

"When we gonna smoke it?" Freddie asked, pulling Cook away from his tonsil tennis long enough to get an answer out of him.

"Later Freds, after I get my cake," he laughed, running a hand up Effy's thigh and going back in for another kiss.

It was the last thing Emily really wanted to watch. There was more than one reason she wasn't straight and guys like Cook were enough to put her off. She watched his hands slide along Effy's shoulders, one hand falling to her perfectly rounded breast. She felt sick. It bothered her that he was getting the opportunity to touch Effy, to feel her up in front of everyone when Emily was still attracted to her.

"Get a fucking room," Naomi snapped from the other end of the table, taking her gaze off Emily long enough to speak.

Naomi's blue eyes were actually very nice. They were shaped perfectly, her eyelashes naturally quite long and the black make up really showed them off against her pale skin and hair. Emily shook her head, didn't want to think about how nice any part of Naomi was because she hated her. Loathed her entirely with every fibre of her being. The blonde was ruining her life. Starting college in Bristol was supposed to be a fresh start, a chance to change her life after everything that happened back in the small town she'd grown up in on the outskirts of London.

"I need the toilet," JJ announced, prompting no reaction at all from anyone else. He glanced back at the table as he carried his bag away with him. He looked a little suspicious, but Emily didn't really want to think about why.

College had been Emily's chance to right every single wrong she'd ever known, a chance to explore new things and make new friends. She knew it was her own fault that Effy was reluctant to spend any time with her, that Naomi and Katie hated her for being the way she'd been towards them. Pandora was the only person who seemed to like her and even that wasn't right because Emily betrayed her with every single thought in her brain.

"I think I'm going to the toilet too," Katie announced, standing up and slipping a bag on her shoulder before disappearing out of the canteen.

It hadn't escaped Emily's notice anymore how strikingly similar Katie Ashford looked to herself, not since Cook and Effy had pointed it out. She'd tried not to think about it, but sometimes it crept up on her and she felt her body shake for a moment. It was just the hair, she told herself, they had similar hair.

"Fuck me," Cook laughed, the very close situation between Cook and Effy looking more x-rated than she'd ever have expected in the canteen. She could see Cook's arm moving under the table, Effy's eyes closing and her lips pressed together as though she was trying to suppress a moan.

"Seriously, get a room," Emily moaned, standing up and moving away from the table.

Without an explanation she walked towards the exit, jealousy raging inside, mixed with anger at Naomi's eyes following her out. She had her very own stalker. It was infuriating. It occurred to her that maybe her dad had asked Naomi to keep an eye on her, to make sure she wasn't doing something that she'd regret. But the fact that Naomi was staring at her at all, was pushing her further and further away from her sanity and closer to doing the things she didn't want to ever do again.

*

_Katie_

The moment Katie left the college canteen she actually started to need the toilet. Thankfully it appeared that JJ did too as she found him coming out of the men's when she went looking for him. The second she came out her fingers intertwined with JJ's and their lips collided in a number of quick, consecutive kisses that led on to a long, drawn out one.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he grinned, sliding his fingers along her cheeks until her face was in his hands.

It had been a number of days since they first kissed, since they'd taken that vital step to building up a relationship. They didn't flaunt it. Katie didn't want to and when she'd asked JJ he'd seemed reluctant to let anyone in on their secret, let alone someone like Cook. They treasured their moments, few and far between, as they stole kisses at the end of break and lunch. The end of the day was proving to be a problem. Most of their lessons were with Cook or Freddie and JJ usually walked home with them.

"Wanna help me with something after college?" she asked, pulling back from another kiss and letting her lips curl into a small smile.

"I'll tell Freddie I have to go to the library," JJ offered. "I have to return a book."

Katie laughed, moving a hand across his cheeks, feeling his lips with a finger, wishing to replace it with her lips once more.

She moved forwards, twisting her hand around the back of his head, running it through his hair as her lips pushed against JJ's. They moved slightly until a wall behind them caused her to collide with him, her breasts pushing up against his chest in a movement neither of them expected. She took a step back, escaping from the moment her body was reacting to his touch.

"What do you need help with?" JJ asked, blushing and avoiding her eyes at all cost.

"I haven't had any luck with the search for information on my dad, I need more help."

JJ considered it for a moment, "Have you got your birth certificate?"

Katie shook her head, conscious of his fingers sliding around her waist. She pulled back, pushing his hand away at the feel of his touch. She'd never felt so strongly before, her face was flushing and her body growing weaker.

"I don't know where it is, whenever I need it mum usually sorts everything out and I never actually get to see it," she admitted, pinching her thigh to stop herself from thinking about running her hands along JJ's bare chest.

"Maybe we could look for it?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders.

"That's a good idea," Katie accepted.

The ringing of the bell distracted them, pulled them apart from their closeness. Katie muttered a goodbye as the rest of the group appeared at the other end of the corridor. She rushed off to her locker to exchange her books, before glancing once more at JJ, her heart skipping a beat as he disappeared from sight.

*

_Emily_

It wasn't Emily's intention to end up back with the group. She'd gone outside for a break, to get some fresh air and to gather her thoughts. There were so many things travelling through her brain that it was beginning to hurt. Everything was getting on top of her and the last thing she expected was to bump into Effy, quite literally, on her way back inside.

"Psychology, right?" Effy smiled, referring to their next lesson. Emily just smiled and nodded.

Cook pulled Effy away before Emily could attempt to walk with the brunette, in fact changed her mind the moment Cook's hands started to wander down Effy's side. She didn't fancy a front seat view of the two of them.

"Come on JJ," Freddie shouted across the corridor and the two of them rushed off towards whichever lesson they had. Emily watched Katie hovering by a locker, looking cautiously at the group before following Freddie and JJ.

Somehow the only person left standing in the corridor was Naomi. Emily turned to walk away, didn't even want to say anything to her. But then a hand gripped her arm and she was being spun back around without her permission. She gritted her teeth and stared Naomi down until the blonde looked away uncomfortably.

"Wait, do you know what's going on tomorrow?"

Emily raised an eyebrow, "This fucking family day?"

Naomi nodded, "Mum says it was Rob's idea, to help us all bond after their fight."

"Wish they'd broken up," Emily muttered, not really talking to Naomi.

Naomi looked anything but happy at Emily's comment, seemed to shake her head until Emily finally spoke again. She glanced around her searching for a way to escape the nightmare that was talking to Naomi.

"I don't fucking care about it, alright?" she snapped, her voice raising in volume. "Fuck off and leave me alone."

"Hang on," Naomi continued. "Emily if you do want to talk about,"

"I don't."

They weren't friends and they never would be friends. It was stupid that Naomi seemed intent on discussing what had happened, what she'd seen. It didn't make any difference to Emily, Naomi couldn't know. She wouldn't ever give her the satisfaction of knowing what was inside of her head. There were so many things she wanted to say, but none of them she wanted to say to Naomi.

"Fuck off Naomi, go fuck Katie or something."

Naomi rolled her eyes and walked away without so much as a goodbye. It bothered Emily that she didn't fight back and she didn't even know why. The whole thing was messed up, her head was exploding, a headache building with the frustration and anger that she couldn't escape. She was supposed to be in her lesson, the bell was ringing and she just stood there staring at Naomi's back as it disappeared around a corner. A number of tears threatened her eyes and she turned and ran to the toilets, locking a cubicle door behind her and sitting on the closed toilet lid. Her hands were shaking, her heart racing as she dropped her bag on the floor and ran her hands up her thighs.

"Fucking hell," she called out to the silent bathroom.

The pain was excruciating, her fingernails pressed into the skin, clenching her hands up until she could feel the skin break and tiny drops of blood seeped across her thighs. She didn't want to do it, she didn't want to feel so much pain. But the moment the skin broke she felt relieved. The tension, the strain that all her thoughts were putting on her body were drifting away, sliding down her legs with each drop until she felt her heart loosen and her headache disappear.

*

_Katie_

The whole point of taking JJ back to her house was to search for information on her dad. Not kiss him. But after only entering her mum's bedroom Katie had found her lips attached to JJ's. They stood stationary, her hands gently caressing his hair, slowly letting his tongue massage her own.

"We shouldn't be doing this," she whispered, pulling back, only to move back in again a moment later.

It wasn't difficult to notice the growing excitement in JJ, his palms which went from her hands to her face and back again were sweating and whenever they pulled away he muttered to himself. It was sweet.

"Katie in her underwear, Katie's breasts, Katie, Katie, oh bobbins."

She smiled, "Shh, it's okay."

Somehow they ended up at the foot of her mum's bed. Their bodies almost wrapped in each other as her knees buckled after JJ pushed against her a little too hard. The mattress was soft, the rock in JJ's trousers digging into her, sending her body into a mixture of excitement and shock.

"I'm not ready for this," she gasped in between kisses.

JJ sighed, moving his kisses to the side of her neck, "Ready for what?"

"Sex."

A loud thud, JJ's mess of hair slid out of her hands and he disappeared from sight. Katie sat up, straightening up her hair as she stared down at JJ sat on the floor. He looked flustered, his face red with embarrassment. Katie regretted speaking, wished she'd just kept her mouth shut.

"I didn't realise we were going in that direction," JJ muttered, his voice getting quieter. "I want to go in that direction, Katie's breasts, Katie's cu, oh bobbins."

She reached out and held his face still, running her thumb against his lips, "We're not going in that direction JJ. Not today anyway."

He looked somewhere between relieved and disappointed at the prospect. Katie could feel her heart still beating extra fast. She reached a hand out to JJ and he pulled himself to his feet before excusing himself to go to the bathroom. Katie watched him walk away, taking deep breaths until his absence helped return herself back to normal.

"How did it get so fast?" she whispered to herself. "How did this happen?"

*

_Emily_

The fresh wounds on her thighs still hurt. They were a constant reminder of the mistake she'd made. Sat beside her dad in the kitchen made the whole situation worse. It was only a few days since he asked if she'd done it again and at the time she was being honest. It was easier said than done to be sat beside him, knowing the answer had changed.

"How's your day been?" he asked, the small talk filling the silences as they ate dinner.

A number of responses came to mind; lying, telling him everything was fantastic and she'd had the best day ever; the truth, telling him she'd mutilated her body once more; somewhere in between. It was her best option and she took it.

"It was okay, nothing special."

"I got a whole load of new clients at the gym," Rob informed her. "I was a bit reluctant about the whole thing, but Gina thought it a really great idea to introduce a holistic body management programme. It's a bit hippy dippy, but it's really paid off."

The first time that day Emily found herself smiling. After everything she'd ever been through the only thing that helped was her dad's gym talk. It was the perfect escape. She listened to him give her the in depth low down on all fifteen clients that signed up. Each one sounded worse than the one before, but never quite as bad as the one that followed. Emily couldn't help compare them all to Gina and Naomi. It was the first time she'd thought about either of them without wanting to pull her hair out.

"You ready for family day tomorrow?" he grinned, looking thrilled that she'd said yes in the first place. She wasn't sure why she did, thought maybe she'd blacked out for a moment because she wasn't ready and wondered if she ever would be.

She shrugged, "I guess."

"It'll be fun."

He looked happy. Emily had never seen her dad so happy, except the couple of times his gym had won local business of the year back home. She wondered why they'd chosen Bristol to start afresh, why move from somewhere so big and bustling to a smaller city that left nothing to be desired. Despite how she felt about the place, she was thankful that her dad had become a better person since they'd moved.

"Is everything okay?" she questioned, actually wanting to know the answer. "With Gina?"

Rob smiled and let his hand rest upon Emily's, "Don't you worry about that love."

"I'm not, I just," she paused. "I want to know."

It came out of nowhere. An amount of care about Gina that had never been there before. Emily felt somewhat uncomfortable about the whole thing, more so when she realised that she didn't actually hate Naomi. For the first time she wanted to know about her dad's relationship, cared enough to ask questions and not let him brush her off.

"Our relationship will be fine," he smiled. "We've got a few hurdles to get over, but I think we'll be okay."

"That's good," Emily nodded. "I'm happy for you."

*

_Katie_

The only other time Katie could remember looking through her mum's things was when she was eleven. It was her first year at high school and her best friend at the time informed her that she'd search her parents bedroom for Christmas presents. She'd thought it was a good idea, one that subsequently led to her being grounded for a month. It was nerve-wracking to say the least but at least she knew Jenna was working late.

"What exactly are we looking for?" Katie asked. "I've never even seen my birth certificate."

"It's just a piece of paper," JJ muttered. "It's got an official heading and then should be printed out."

The first thing they found was a box of cards. There must have been at least a couple of dozen, all sealed, all without names written on them. Katie held them up to the light to try and see through the white envelopes, but other than a couple of numbers there wasn't much else. She put them back into their box, more confused than anything else.

"This is useless," Katie groaned, throwing what had to have been the fifteenth shoe box back into the wardrobe. Most of them seemed to be filled with exactly what belonged in them; shoes.

JJ stood back and looked at the wardrobe before pointing, "What about up there?"

Katie shrugged, "Mum once told me she keeps all of our memories in boxes up there. Pictures I did as a kid."

They shared a look. Katie hadn't been sure but JJ seemed convinced it was the only place she'd put anything of importance. He pulled the chair from Jenna's dressing table and stood on it to retrieve a couple of boxes.

"This one is just full of my school reports," Katie sighed.

JJ froze, holding an opened envelope up, "What are these?"

"Letter's?" Katie whispered, looking over and taking one off JJ. "It's dated 1990."

_Dear Jenna,_

_It's been three days since I last saw you. I don't know how much longer I can handle this. I love you. What I did was wrong. I shouldn't have kissed Betty Lewis at the party. I should have kissed you. I know it's not been easy with your dad getting sick, but I'm here for you._

_Do you remember our first date two years ago? You told me you were nervous and you asked if I was. I tried to be macho and said no. But the truth is I was falling apart. I knew from the moment we met that you would be important to me, that our lives would clash in all the good ways. The thought of throwing that away on some drunken mistakes is too much._

_I want you to know that I will not give up. I will never stop loving you for as long as I will live and if you'll only give me a second chance then I will prove to you just how much you mean to me. Jenna, this is real, what we have is real and I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose you. I can't._

_All my love,_

_Robert_

If it was possible for your heart to push your chest outwards like in the cartoons, Katie was sure hers was visible. JJ was reading over her shoulder, his breath hitting her neck. The close contact didn't seem to bother her as much anymore. Her heart was speeding along and for a moment she thought she couldn't breath.

"This one is dated a few months later," JJ offered, handing her another envelope whilst he folded the first back into it's own.

_Dear Jenna,_

_I am writing this from my dad's boat. The sun is shining and the fish are biting. I'm enjoying my weekend, except that you're not here. I love you and miss you every single moment. I hope you're enjoying your weekend with the girls._

_I had a dream about you last night. I was stood in the church waiting for you to walk down the aisle, the vicar was stood there and all of our family and friends were grinning. I bet you're thinking this isn't going to end well. But it did. You turned up and the music began to play. My little sister and your friend walked down the aisle first and I thought how great they looked, but then I saw you. The only problem is that I woke up before we even got to say I do._

_I can't wait to do it for real next week. Is it possible to love you more each day? Give my love to your family, but save most of it for you. Here's a thousand invisible kisses, make the most of them. I look forward to kissing you for real when you're my wife._

_Love forever,_

_Robert_

The letters were making her feel dizzy. They were dated barely a year before her birth. It was strange to think of her mother in such a way, so in love, so happy to be with one person. Robert. His name was Robert. She could hardly believe what she'd read. Her stomach flipped. She needed to read more but couldn't seem to handle the thought of reading about her mother's love affair with her father. She pushed the envelopes back into their box and handed it to JJ.

"I can't, I can't read anymore."

"I'll get a different box," JJ mumbled, standing up and placing the letters back on the shelf.

"No."

It was all just too much. Her dad had died. But by the sounds of the letters they'd been so deeply in love before it happened. Within a couple of years he was gone and nothing Katie searched for could change that.

"No?"

"I don't want to know. I can't," she whispered. "He's dead, that's all I need to know now."

*

_Naomi_

The plan, as Rob announced when Naomi and Gina had got into his car, was to go to the nearest out of town shopping centre and go nuts. What nuts apparently meant, though Naomi thought it sounded pretty silly, was to go bowling and to Laser Quest before getting dinner at Pizza Express. It was supposed to be a family day out but to Naomi it sounded like a nightmare. She didn't really like bowling and had never actually been to Laser Quest. It wasn't something that appealed. Gina however seemed pretty happy about the idea and Naomi had promised herself and her mother that she would make an effort.

"Shall we tag team?" Rob suggested when they'd changed into their bowling shoes.

Gina looked at him, "What's that?"

"Well, me and you could be on a team and Emily and Naomi could be on another. We'll have two games of this, then two games of laser quest and the winning team gets to pick desert."

It didn't sound very fun. Especially since she was being paired up with Emily, who looked just as annoyed at the idea. She thought they were getting along, after the moment in Emily's bedroom. The red head hadn't been defensive and actually thanked her. But she didn't seem to care much about that anymore. It annoyed Naomi. She didn't even like her. There was obviously a lot going on for Emily, even that wasn't much of an excuse.

"Is that alright girls?"

The two girls looked at each other without so much as a word. Naomi had worked her way through Emily's defences had actually broken down some sort of barrier and seen her at what Naomi could only assume was her weakest. She had always had trouble connecting with girls, with anyone really. It wasn't that she didn't like people but they infuriated her too much. Despite everything, Emily had let her get close and she couldn't even understand why. .

"I guess so," Naomi shrugged at the same time as Emily nodded her head.

Naomi wasn't very good at bowling. She never practised so the idea that she could be was alien to her. Emily on the other hand looked like she probably played all the time. She moved gracefully, swinging her arm and moving her legs in such a way that the ball always seemed to knock down almost every pin.

"You're rubbish at this," Emily moaned while Rob showed Gina how to improve on her swing.

"And you're brilliant at it," Naomi rolled her eyes, sarcasm thick in her voice.

"Seriously, if we're going to beat them you need to up your game."

It was laughable the way Emily was talking, her competitiveness seeping through. It wasn't difficult to see where she got it from. Rob had already cheered loudly on several occasions, much to Naomi's embarrassment.

"It's great to spend the day together, isn't it?" Rob grinned, sitting down with his hand patting Naomi's knee. She raised an eyebrow at her mum's boyfriend and turned to watch Emily have her go.

"It's alright."

"Emily's a corker at this, isn't she?"

Naomi just smiled, "You're pretty good too. Do you play a lot?"

"Ems and I used to go every week when she was in school, nearly joined the bowling team until,"

The look on Rob's face sent a chill through Naomi's spine. Whatever Emily was keeping to herself, it was obvious that Rob knew all about it. The conversation between them became tense and Rob disappeared off to the bathroom. Naomi bit her lip, not even sure what had just happened.

*

_Emily_

Competition was a Fitch family trait and Emily couldn't deny it. After two games at bowling they were tied. Naomi and Gina had been nothing short of useless, which in Gina's case worked to Emily's advantage. If she was completely honest with herself Naomi had improved a lot from the first game to the second. Not that she was ever going to tell her that.

"We have to win," Emily informed the blonde the moment they got into the Laser Quest arena.

Naomi bit her lip, it seemed to be a habit and it annoyed Emily to no end, "I don't even know how to play."

"Then stay behind me. Dad'll try and shoot you, just don't be a fucking target, alright?"

When she'd said stay behind she didn't expect Naomi to stand quite so close. She kept muttering things and as a whole annoyed her. After a while they stopped in a corner and Emily turned to face her.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I say stay behind me and you're practically on my fucking back."

Naomi just shrugged, "Are you always this tightly wound?"

"It's a game Naomi, at least try to enjoy yourself."

"Fine," she muttered. "I'll go off on my own."

Emily didn't stop her. She just let her walk off, hoping that Naomi would actually pick up on how to play and do some damage instead of becoming easy prey for her relentless father. Without Naomi at her heel she found it a lot easier to relax and was really getting into the game, rushing around corners, zapping her dad and Gina at every available opportunity.

"You're mine now," she grinned, standing up and rushing across a bridge shooting down at her dad as she ran.

Something, or someone, came out of nowhere and Emily found herself on the floor. She looked up to find Naomi staring down at her. She jumped to her feet, angry at what had happened. She was convinced she was winning and now they were stood together on the bridge an easy target for Gina who seemed to be enjoying shooting at them.

"Fucking bitch," Emily snarled, grabbing Naomi's arm and dragging her away from sight.

Naomi sounded just as angry, "Get off me Emily, don't touch me."

"Are you trying to lose us this fucking game?"

"It's not my fault, you're the one with your mind on other things."

Other things? It was obvious what Naomi was referring to. The suggestion made her angry, made her feel weak. She couldn't stand what was happening, that Naomi knew more than she should. She reached up, her hand clenching around Naomi's throat as she pushed her hard against the wall.

"Let go," Naomi gasped, struggling to breath as she wriggled under Emily's grasp.

She loosened her grip, but pushed another hand against her shoulder to keep her there. "You don't have a clue, you don't have a fucking clue."

Naomi just shook her head, "No, I don't."

"You fucking mess with me and I'll, I'll,"

"You'll what?"

It was so dark. The shadows were tenfold over the sources of light. Emily could barely see Naomi's face, but there was something in the look in her eyes that made Emily want to cry. She wasn't a violent person, she wasn't the kind of girl to push someone against a wall and from what she knew, Naomi wasn't the kind of girl to provoke an attack. She looked from Naomi's eyes to her lips; she wasn't sure why she did, didn't know what made her. But as she stared into those blue eyes she pushed her lips hard against Naomi's. It wasn't passionate, it wasn't nice, it just was. Naomi didn't react, just stood there letting Emily's lips collide with her own until she finally pulled back.

"I, err," Emily began, words escaping her as she turned around and ran off in the opposite direction.

**Vote one option for Katie and one option for Emily:**

**Katie Option 1: Katie and Jenna have a heart to heart.**

**Katie Option 2: Katie and Naomi clash with Emily.**

**Emily Option 1: Emily does everything she can to avoid Naomi.**

**Emily Option 2: Emily tries it on again, when drunk, with Effy.**

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICES!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you to everyone for your reviews, I really appreciate all of your comments and thoughts and especially votes. The winners of the last options were: Katie and Jenna have a heart to heart and Emily avoids Naomi. The majority of people votes for these, in fact everyone voted for the Emily one!**

**I apologise to anyone if they read the last chapter without being warned about the self harming. I honestly didn't mean to upset/offend anyone in any way. I will make sure I use a warning from now on, but just so you know, chances are this story will contain a number of instances of self-harm.**

**WARNING****: This chapter will contain actions some may find difficult.**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Eight**

_Naomi_

There was a fog that wouldn't clear, a great gaping cloud that filled every space, disrupted every thought and angled everything at the one thing that wasn't, or at least shouldn't, have been an option to think about. Naomi lay in her bed staring up at the curtains which were parted slightly, behind her, allowing the darkened morning to seep through. It had been four days since the family fun day, four days since she'd felt lips touch her own. After all that time, after all those hours she could still feel the touch. Her fingers moved to her lips like they had done so many times since. She couldn't comprehend what had happened, couldn't understand why Emily had kissed her when it had seemed like the last thing she'd ever want to do.

"Fuck off," Naomi moaned, rolling over and pushing her face into her pillow, wrapping the sides around her ears in the hope that she could escape everything that was mulling around in her brain.

She'd never been kissed by a girl, had only really kissed a handful of guys and had not once kissed someone she had a strong dislike for. _She liked it._ Yet she couldn't admit it. Her last boyfriend had been a dog and most of the time he slobbered over her with moist lips that sent her stomach into turns. It hadn't lasted very long because she was always on the verge of throwing up when she was near him. The touch was different to Emily's; despite the rage and frustration apparent in Emily, her lips were still soft, still touched hers with a sensuality that she'd never felt.

"For fucks sake," she screamed into the material, throwing the pillow across the room before climbing out of bed.

The mirror was lying. It had to be lying. Two large dark circles wrapped around her eyes, showed just how tired she realised she was because of all the thoughts running through her mind even in sleep. The events that followed the kiss appeared to be on repeat until she got sick of thinking of them.

"_Emily," she'd called out, watched as her red hair disappeared around a corner, didn't even know why she was shouting because she didn't have anything to say. What was there to say? They'd kissed. No. Emily had kissed her. Forced her to take part in something she didn't ever think would happen in her lifetime. She was straight. She liked boys. She liked cock. It was as simple as that. Despite knowing that, she still found herself stood motionless against the wall, her fingers pressed against her lips where Emily's had been just moment earlier._

_After the game Emily made an excuse about a headache, apologised to Rob and Gina and went home alone. Naomi knew it was a lie. It could have been the truth, but somehow she just knew it wasn't. She wished she could have done something, or said something to change the aftermath of what had happened. There was just nothing she could do or say that allowed her to. In the end Rob had followed Emily and the family day out had ended abruptly. Her mum had suggested they go to eat anyway, to which Naomi just nodded, followed her mother because there was just nothing else she could do._

It hurt. It physically hurt to think of what had happened, yet her mind thought of nothing else. She couldn't understand why, couldn't grasp the reason for her head being so cloudy and uncontrollable. Just had to carry on with her life in that daze in the hope that it would eventually clear.

"Morning love," Gina greeted her like she always did, acted like everything was fine because as far as she knew, things were.

"Morning," Naomi replied, barely looking at her mother.

It was a betrayal. There was no other way to think of it. Kissing, or being kissed by, your mother's boyfriend's daughter was wrong. It wasn't the fact that she was a girl, which in itself didn't bother her as much as it should have, it was the fact that eventually they would probably become step-sisters.

*

_Katie_

Even though the letters left her with a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, Katie couldn't help return to her mother's wardrobe. She'd put it off, tried to push the whole idea out of her mind, but eventually realised she had to give in. The curiosity was too much.

"October sixteenth," she mumbled, searching through the envelopes until she found one dated after the last she'd read.

_Dear Jennifer_

She stopped. Found her heart beating faster, which seemed strange. It wasn't unusual really to see her mother's name, her proper name, given to her by her parents. Jenna was, after all, just a nickname. The idea that he called her that name and she called him his, when he probably had nicknames of his own, made the whole thing quite romantic.

_I am writing this on our wedding day. I don't really know why because in just two hours we will be stood in the church in front of our family and friends declaring our love for each other._

_I can't believe what you told me last night. Well, I can, but I didn't expect this so soon. I didn't expect our lives to become so perfect so fast. A baby. Who would have thought it? Maybe in a few months, or a year or two, but now, today. I can't wait to be married to you, to share our lives together forever because that's how much I love you. I can't wait to embark on this journey together, being parents for the very first time._

_I think I am writing this because I can't tell you everything I want to in church, not anymore, not with this news. So please see these as an addition to our vows, to the words we'll say to each other when we declare our love, when we show the world that we are meant to be together forever._

_To you and our baby, all my love_

_Robert_

To say she was shocked would have been an understatement. Her parents wedding was before her birth, too long before her birth for the pregnancy mentioned to have been her. It made her heart race. She took a number of deep breaths before putting the envelope back into the box. Every piece of the puzzle seemed to confuse her, seemed to create more of a mess than the picture it was supposed to. She pulled out another letter dated a month after the wedding and began to read.

_Dear Jennifer,_

_I miss you. I'm sorry. Please come home._

_Love Robert_

It was short, too short to really say anything. Katie's mind began to create an image in her mind, of her mum leaving her dad after their wedding. They were supposed to be in love, supposed to be having a baby together, yet she'd left. She flipped through the box again, tried to find another letter dated after that one, but there wasn't any. How could there be no more? The story wasn't over. The baby was not her. There had to be more. There had to be answers to all of the questions building up in her mind, but she couldn't find them, not without speaking to her mother. She couldn't do that, couldn't even think about doing that because then Jenna would know that she'd been snooping, would know that even though she'd asked her not to, had continued to look for information on her father.

*

_Emily_

Water was like tears, it flowed along until it disappeared, taking all of the dirt and mess with it. Emily closed her eyes and raised her face up to the stream of water as it gushed down upon her, brushing away the tears that were falling, mixing her salty sobs with the shower's spray. She ran her hands along her body, pushing the water down her thighs until her fingers brushed the small lumps that were her scars. Intermingled with a number of scabs, formed from her stupid mistake days before.

"_You fucking mess with me and I'll, I'll,"_

"_You'll what?"_

A mistake followed by another mistake. The kiss. She couldn't even remember what was running through her head when she did it. She was angry, furious at Naomi for even thinking she could know what was going on in her life. She'd pushed her against the wall to threaten her, to warn her off because she didn't like how Naomi was making her feel. If she was completely honest, she didn't know how Naomi made her feel. Standing so close, feeling her breath on her cheek had sent her head into spin. There was something there. Something that she didn't realise and didn't even want. But there was something between them that scared her. The kiss. It was like almost every other kiss she'd ever had with a girl. Except that it wasn't. The few girls she'd actually been out with, had any sort of relationship with, she hadn't even cared about. They were hollow friendships forged as something more.

_A kiss. A stupid, fucking kiss. Naomi's lips had been shining under the tiny light behind her, glistening in the darkened space and in that moment had looked completely kissable. So she did it. Naomi was beautiful. Except that she couldn't think like that. Wasn't allowed to see her that way because she was straight. Could have actually fucked her there and then had she not looked back at her with such confusion._

It had come out of nowhere. Had taken her by surprise. Fucking. She'd never properly fucked. Never really had a sexual relationship with anyone. She didn't know why she thought it, didn't know why it was the only thing on her mind when she was stood, with rage burning in her eyes. But it was. Under the stream of the water she felt weakened by her thoughts, weakened by the idea that she'd wanted to let Naomi into her bubble, into the space that she saved only for herself and the vast array of problems that came with her.

"No," she sobbed as her fingers dug into the scabs, removing the tops of her recent wounds, forcing them to bleed again.

She didn't mean to. She didn't want to. Regretted it the moment the first hint of pain hit her and she found herself leaning against the tiled wall, water landing in her mouth as silent screams left her lips.

*

_Katie_

Every single person in the college corridor seemed to be going about their life. It was funny how people did that, continued along like nothing big was happening. The funniest part about it, was that for them nothing was. It was like the world's biggest joke where nobody knows but you. Everyone else just carries on like the world hasn't changed.

"Katie!"

The voice made her turn, made her lips curl at the edges and want to push her thoughts from her brain for just five minutes, long enough to accept JJ's greeting. She'd avoided him, just like he had her and it wasn't until she'd seen him running along the corridor towards her, that she realised how much she'd missed him.

"I've missed you," he smiled.

It was all that was needed for her to burst into tears, for her to fall into his arms, which seemed to catch him by surprised. Eventually his arms wrapped around her smaller form and she was tucked neatly into his comforting embrace.

"What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, "I read more letters."

The answer seemed sufficient for JJ and Katie knew exactly why she'd fallen for him. He was simple, he didn't do complicated, he just took everything as it was. Tears meant a hug. The letters meant he wouldn't talk about it unless she did. It was like he knew her already when they were still relative strangers.

"She was pregnant," Katie whispered, sobs catching in her voice.

"Who was?"

"My mum, before me, she was pregnant before she was pregnant with me."

Hearing the words out in the open made the whole thing feel more real, appear to be happening, or having happened, instead of the weird dreamlike image she'd forged in her brain.

"Do you know what happened?"

"No, the letters stopped," she whispered, pulling back, but allowing her fingers to stay connected to JJ's.

"There weren't anymore after that?"

"Just one, but it didn't say very much, it didn't say anything," Katie sighed. "Jonah, I want to know what happened, I need to know what happened."

He looked puzzled and hurt by her tears as he brushed them away, "Maybe you should talk to your mum again."

"I can't."

"What other choice do you have?"

She didn't have any other choice. There was no one else to ask, no one else she could get away with talking to, without her mother finding out. Katie just shook her head, allowed her lips to push against JJ's even though they were stood out in the open where anyone could see. It didn't matter anymore, she just wanted to be with him, wanting to feel his fingers running through her hair as their kiss deepened. Then the bell went and though it hurt to walk away, they went their separate ways.

*

_Naomi_

The first thing Naomi looked at when she entered the canteen was Emily's lips. It was purely accidental. Emily was stood up with her hands on her hips and just happened to turn around at the moment she walked through the door. Naomi could feel her cheeks redden as she joined the queue to get food. The whole time she could feel Emily's eyes on her, yet the moment she turned to look over she appeared deep in conversation.

"I don't care what you say, it's wrong."

"Can you be anymore of a bitch?"

Naomi slid her tray onto the table and sat down in the seat beside Katie. She instantly realised her mistake as Emily, sat opposite, looked anything but pleased by her presence. Part of her expected Emily to hurl abuse at her, instead she turned to Katie and continued the conversation, or argument, they were already involved in.

"You think I'm a bitch because I think it's not okay for you to kiss JJ in the middle of the corridor?"

Katie rolled her eyes, "He's a nice guy."

"He's a mong."

"That's not fair," Cook inputted, glancing at them from his seat beside Effy, they'd been in the middle of an intense make out session, before the conversation pulled him away.

"Well he is."

"He's not a mong, alright?" Cook snapped. "Just because he's not the same as everyone else, doesn't make him stupid."

It didn't escape Naomi's notice that Emily's eyes were glazing over and her lips were pressed tightly together. Freddie and Katie had begun a conversation, Cook had gone back to his kissing, leaving Naomi as the only person actually noticing the anguish on Emily's face.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, her voice barely existent.

The sad expression turned to anger as Emily pulled herself out of her seat and picked up her bag. No one even noticed when she walked away, just carried on their conversations like it didn't matter that Emily was so upset. Naomi stood up and followed her.

"Emily?"

But she didn't stop. The door of the canteen closed behind her and Naomi could feel a lump forming in her throat. She couldn't help wonder if it was all her fault. She tried to brush the thoughts aside as Effy called to her to rejoin the group. She sat back down and munched on a chip as Effy told her about a party at the weekend, it was all she could do to stop herself from thinking.

*

_Emily_

The worst thing about college was Naomi. She was there, everywhere Emily turned and it was actually growing tiring to just walk down the corridor. The moment she saw her would send her thoughts backward a few hours to the morning, to her shower, to an intense desire to be with Naomi. It was wrong. It was impossible. Naomi wasn't gay and even if she was, she didn't like Emily. She couldn't blame her really. She knew she was a little bit unhinged and appeared more so since the kiss and quite frankly, was a complete bitch when she wanted to be.

"Can anyone tell me the date?"

A number of hands shot up around her as she stared into space, barely listening to the history teacher trying to teach her lesson. It was near enough impossible to focus because Naomi was sat a few feet away, her hair shining by the light of the window. She couldn't believe how quickly things had changed, how suddenly her feelings had cropped up. It was impossible to understand. She didn't like Naomi, yet she wanted to have sex with her.

"1632."

The whole day had been a washout of humiliation and frustration. JJ was actually quite a nice young man and she knew that. She didn't know why she'd used such strong words to describe him when he was anything but. Suspected that maybe she had said it as a dig at Katie instead of a dig at JJ himself. Her fingers rested on her legs and she could feel them clenching, putting pressure on the skin beneath her jeans. In the end she lifted them up, clenched her fists together instead of wrapped around her legs to stop herself from making another mistake, one that she was still paying for from the morning. Wearing her jeans only made it worse, caused the material to rub against the wounds every time she walked. If she really thought about it, let herself think her thoughts freely, she realised that her choice to wear trousers over a skirt was intentional.

"Don't forget, assignments are due next week."

The lesson ended and not one ounce of information reached her. She couldn't even understand how the lesson had gone by so quickly when the students around her were gathering their belongings. She copied them, followed them out of the room, could hear Naomi saying her name, but just carried on going until she got outside. Her legs rubbing together painfully as she quickened her pace.

"_You fucking mess with me and I'll, I'll,"_

"_You'll what?"_

The kiss was still in her mind, still repeating itself over and over. She couldn't go home, couldn't set foot in her house until she'd found a way to stop her thoughts, or stem them slightly. Instead she walked around, followed pathways as they snaked through estates, barely recognising where she was until she found herself stood outside her front door with no recollection of how she'd got there.

"Naomi and I are going to a protest next weekend, you're more than welcome to come."

Gina had a massive smile on her face as Emily entered the kitchen. At least she thought it was her kitchen. A small, square table sat in the middle of it looking near enough new, four odd chairs dotted around. Emily bit her lip to stop her thoughts from being vocalised as she caught sight of Naomi sat opposite her mother and her dad between them.

"Good afternoon love, was beginning to think you weren't coming home," Rob grinned, standing up. "Like the new table?"

Emily nodded, "I'm going to a party, I'll be back late. I'm just going to get changed."

Rob accepted it, didn't even protest as she turned around and left the room, but not before a tense glare between her and Naomi.

*

_Katie_

It had been a long day, one that was only made slightly better by the couple of hours Katie had spent with JJ after college. They'd gone to the cinema and though she'd barely paid attention to the film, sitting so close to JJ with their hands together between them made her feel somewhat at ease.

'_Show the world that we are meant to be together forever.'_

'_I miss you. I'm sorry. Please come home.'_

Her head was thumping, the words from the letters going backwards and forwards in her mind. There was nothing she could do to stop them, they just kept on coming, repeatedly. She couldn't sleep. Had tried to roll over and close her eyes, but the envelopes, the letters were all there in the darkness. In the end she climbed out of bed, unable to stand what the darkness brought. She went to the kitchen, poured herself a mug of hot chocolate and went into the lounge where her mum was sat on the sofa reading a book.

"I thought you were getting an early night," she smiled, replacing her bookmark and putting the book on the coffee table.

Katie shrugged, "I couldn't sleep."

Jenna patted the sofa beside her, shifted her position so that Katie could curl up against her side, the blanket pulled around their shoulders. It had been months since they'd last sat together, watching a film or reading. Katie found herself missing it in the moment it had returned.

"Anything on your mind love?" Jenna questioned, brushing Katie's hair from her eyes.

She had to be brave, had to come out and say it, no matter what, "I've been thinking about my dad."

"Katie," Jenna's tone was warning her as she attempted to brush her off.

"No mum, I understand," she whispered, sipping on the steaming drink. "I think I know why you kept it from me, if you loved each other as much as I wish you did, then maybe it was too difficult."

"Katie," Jenna began again. "I," she trailed off, merely nodding her head in response.

There was never a time when Katie really looked at her mother, really saw into her eyes and noticed the pain she'd been housing all these years. It only lasted a moment before Jenna looked down, stopped her from staring into her eyes. Katie could see tears on her mother's cheeks. She placed her hot chocolate on the coffee table and burrowed closer to her mother, pushed her face against her shoulder and wrapped an arm around her as they sat together in silence.

*

_Emily_

Intoxication. It made Emily laugh how she never thought of the word until she was drunk or high. It always came to mind when her thoughts became harder to process. But the alcohol and weed actually made her feel a lot clearer, for once. The previous jumbled up mess in her head was being straightened out, collated neatly because of her consumption. On the other hand she suspected it was only temporary. The house was quiet when she got home. Her dad was probably already tucked up in bed so it didn't matter when she pulled the girl through the house by her arm.

"Fuck me," she groaned into Emily's ear the moment they reached the bedroom.

Emily complied, wrapped her hands around the brunette's back and pulled her close until her lips could fondle with her skin, playfully licking the sensitive area below her ear, sucking on the skin as the girl's fingers travelled along her waist, running a hand confidently under her top until her breasts were released from their prison. They moved towards the bed, Emily's knees buckled as the mattress hit the back of them hard.

"Mmm," a third voice interrupted them.

The girl stood back turning towards the sofa bed where Emily could only just make out someone sleeping. Naomi. Her heart jumped about in her chest, pushing up into her throat as she tried to decide what to do next. Naomi wasn't moving, didn't seem to be conscious.

"She's asleep," Emily muttered, pulling the girl closer by the waist of her skirt. Running her lip along her collarbone.

She let her slip the top from her shoulders, pulled herself further up the bed as the girl joined her. The excitement growing inside of her was minimal and she wondered if it was always like that, if it wasn't ever possible to feel like you were going to explode at any moment. Fingers reached her trousers, played with the buttons until a hand slipped inside. Her clothes were getting in the way as the girl tried to gain entry into her underwear. Eventually she pulled away, tugged on Emily's trousers which made her push the girl away.

"Wait," she mumbled, breathing heavily. Her body longed to be touched, hated being left without being fulfilled.

"What's wrong?" the girl asked and as Emily stared up into her deep, dark eyes she suddenly realised she didn't even know her name, it didn't even matter to her.

"Don't take them off," she whispered, hoping it would be enough. But it wasn't.

"They're in the way."

The thought of her clothes being completely removed, her inner thighs being completely exposed to this girl, this stranger was too much to bare. She didn't want that, couldn't handle the questions if she took a closer look. The girl didn't really listen, just moved back to the trousers, tried to pull them down again but Emily stopped her.

"Please."

The girl just shrugged, instead thrust her fingers back under the material until skin hit skin and Emily could feel her body reacting to the touch. It was enough. It was just enough as she felt her body jerk. It wasn't explosive, its wasn't really very good. But she couldn't stop, couldn't let the girl down when she'd tried to give her pleasure. Emily rolled her over, kissed down her shoulders, along her thighs until she reached the ultimate spot. The girls fingers clenched around her head, tugging at her hair as the pleasure seemed to consume her.

*

_Naomi_

Waking up to sexual moans was the last thing Naomi had expected. The room was dark, couldn't see a thing, but she couldn't mistake the sound of someone breathing deeply and someone else groaning. She wanted to roll over, to check that she wasn't hearing things and that it was in fact Emily. The only other alternative being her mother and Rob, which was too extreme to even think about. A loud squealing made it obvious that the sound was coming from across the room.

"Don't fucking stop," a voice that Naomi didn't recognise moaned out as she squealed louder and louder.

It felt perverted to still be there, lay across from them. There wasn't much else she could do. Her heart was racing as she heard Emily's moans increase. The kiss came to mind again, at the worst possible moment. Instead of Emily kissing her in Laser Quest, she imagined it happening right there, on the sofa bed. Emily's legs bent on either side of her body as she pressed herself against her front. A breath caught in her throat. She had to go back to sleep, had to stop listening to Emily having sex. But she couldn't. She couldn't stop thinking about it, could almost feel Emily's lips brushing against hers, before the imaginary touch moved to her neck.

"That was amazing," the strange voice whispered after all the noise had died down.

"Hmm," Emily muttered.

They were cuddling, at least Naomi suspected they were cuddling. It was too much. Too much to be lay there in the dark listening to the two people across the room when all it did was make her feel excited, make her want to get up and kiss Emily. She didn't. She pushed the thought aside, tried to remove it from her brain. She didn't want to kiss Emily. Eventually it became too much, her body was overheating and she couldn't even understand why. She climbed out of bed, making as much disgruntled noise as possible as she pulled her duvet away.

"When there's other people in the fucking room, you don't fucking do that," she called out into the dark as she carried her duvet into the lounge, where she made up a new bed on the sofa.

**The next chapter is not an easy one to offer options for because it will solely be something I have planned and really want to include in this story, but here are some options anyway:**

**Option 1: Emily gets locked in a toilet when something big happens.**

**Option 2: Katie and Naomi have a fight which they will later regret.**

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICES!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you all for the reviews - as always they mean so much. Your votes are very much appreciated as it really helps me to form my chapters knowing what you want. This chapter was so enjoyable to write so much so that I hope you'll enjoy it. The winner was Emily being locked in a toilet cubicle.**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Nine**

_Emily_

The building looked ready for demolition. There were wooden boards on nearly all of the windows and those that didn't were obviously smashed. A sign broken in half by the entrance suggested the building was a former Labour Club which probably hadn't been in action for some years. It was on a quieter side of town, a rougher area where half the houses were derelict awaiting a regeneration project to begin that had been put on hold for almost two years. It wasn't the ideal home for a party but Emily followed Freddie and Cook through the main doors. She hadn't arrived with them, instead had bumped into them on the bus from the town centre. It made her feel better about the whole thing after previously worrying about the location. She still didn't know the area very well and had never even caught the number six bus let alone travelled along any of its route.

"Stick with us and you'll be a'right," Cook announced, wrapping an arm around her shoulders despite her objection.

If she was honest it was nice to have human contact. To allow someone to show that they cared enough to protect her from whatever could put her in harms way. Cook had his many flaws but his commitment to his friends appeared to not be included.

"This is going to be the biggest party of the year," Cook grinned, ruffling up Freddie's hair before pushing through the small crowd gathering in the doorway.

Inside there were a number of tables and chairs scattered around, some tipped on their sides, some had people sitting or resting on them. The old bar had several kegs laid out mixed between soft drinks and spirits. It was a recovering alcoholic's nightmare and for Emily, who was ready to get off her face, it was like a sweet shop. The party was relatively quiet, still pretty early in the evening for it to be heaving. Emily stayed close to the boys, conscious of how uncomfortable she was feeling as they led her towards a small corner where the group were sat together. It was hard to understand where the feeling of relief and excitement came from when she spotted Naomi at the far end of the group and had to shift her glance to Effy as her lips began to curl at the edges. It had become public information in the last few days that Katie and JJ were together. It didn't bother Emily really, but she happily joined in the taunts whenever Cook and Freddie started up. She knew deep down it was wrong yet still managed to get a couple of digs in where appropriate.

"Get a room," Cook announced when he sat down beside Effy, his hand automatically moving to her upper thigh as though he wasn't contradicting what he was saying.

Katie and JJ weren't even doing anything. They were sat close together, their fingers interlinked between them and they were whispering to each other. However, it was a far cry from the public display of sexual affection that Cook seemed to feel the need to make obvious.

"Can you be anymore of a cock?" Naomi asked, speaking up for her friend.

The thing that Emily suspected drew her to the blonde was not her moody exterior, nor was it her obsession with anything political. It was more to do with the way she seemed to care. She didn't flaunt it, actually seemed to deny it whenever anyone pointed it out, but she had a way of looking after people. Even Emily and they had been anything than friendly with each other since day one.

"Actually I can, can't I babe?" Cook turned to Effy with a leering look on his face.

"Ignore him, he thinks with his trousers," Effy smiled, sliding a hand along Cooks thigh until the two of them started kissing, only pulling away long enough to take a breath.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Naomi questioned JJ when Katie had disappeared off to the toilet. He shrugged his shoulders and Emily watched as his hands shook on his cup of beer. It was sweet in a way, how nervous he seemed to get about everything. Naturally Emily couldn't stand being nice, even in her thoughts, instead played with a stray piece of string on her skirt to distract herself.

"Oi, oi!" Cook cheered when Katie arrived back at the table, the black cardigan she had been wearing was now unbuttoned and it was difficult not to notice a hint of cleavage.

"You two really should go somewhere more private, know what I'm saying?"

JJ turned to Cook, his face growing red with embarrassment and anger. Emily laughed, letting her mouth do the talking before she could even think about it.

"About time you got some Katie, maybe then you'll stop acting like a frigid bitch."

The watery brown eyes staring back at her made her realise she'd overstepped the mark. She hated the thought of upsetting someone.

"Shut up, just, just shut up," JJ called out, his voice raising over the music that was beginning to fill the building. "I don't want to get into Katie's panties, well I do and I think it would actually be quite nice, but, bobbins."

The group fell silent, no laughs, no taunts, just confused faces. Emily felt relieved when Katie's lips curled into a small smile, which seemed to prompt JJ to start back up again.

"So you can all stick your fingers up your arse because you're all fucking wankers."

The confidence in JJ's voice had stunned everyone who continued to sit in silence. JJ picked up his drink and walked over to Katie, placing a small kiss on her lips as they walked away into the growing crowd.

*

_Naomi_

"I got you both a drink," Naomi announced, sitting down at the table before realising that Freddie had left and the only person still there was Emily. "Oh."

"I don't need your drink," Emily complained, but after a few minutes of awkward silence it caught Naomi's attention that the red head had picked up the cup and was attempting to drink as much as possible in a short space of time.

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Guess I shouldn't expect a thank you."

"Thank you sooo much," Emily responded sarcastically.

The more time spent with Emily Fitch, the more confused Naomi became. There were hints of a relatively nice person shining through, except that whenever she got close to finding her, she would vanish without a trace, replaced instead by a harsh, cold exterior.

Naomi sighed, "How long are you going to keep this up?"

"How long 'til you realise that I just don't like you?"

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "What about the kiss?"

She felt brave when she asked the question, yet the moment it was out there her heart had begun beating at twice it's regular speed. Naomi's mouth felt dry, so she sipped on her beer in an attempt to make up for it.

"What kiss?"

Sometimes people made jokes, sometimes people pretended things didn't happen when they did, it didn't seem like Emily was that kind of person. It didn't escape Naomi's notice that her hands began to shake ever so slightly at Emily's denial. She turned to the crowd and tried to focus on a couple of fairly good looking males exchanging drugs.

"What do you mean what kiss?" Naomi paused. "Have you lost your fucking short term memory or something?"

"Try blocked out a painfully horrible event," Emily corrected.

It made her scoff, "You kissed me Emily, talk about painfully horrible; I'm the one that should feel like it was the worst thing in the world, not you."

"And was it?"

Emily's question threw her off, never did she expect her to even discuss the kiss, let alone ask if it was the worst thing in the world or not. The cup of beer in Emily's hand was making her appear tipsy, which Naomi suspected was to blame for her recent honesty.

"What the fuck? You want to know if I enjoyed it?"

"No, of course not," Emily defended. "As if I would even want to know that. Don't really want to know if you get off on it every night."

"Ha. You are seriously deluding yourself if you think that was anything but a pathetic peck."

The two of them stayed silent. The music around them was loud and invasive, which suited the situation well, gave them ample room to distract themselves. Except that Naomi struggled to distract herself and the alcohol in her own body was making her feel particularly brave.

"I've never kissed a girl. It's weird isn't it?"

Emily frowned, "What?"

"I mean how different it feels to kissing boys."

"I wouldn't know," Emily mumbled. "I've never tried."

"Are you serious?"

Naomi wasn't sure why it shocked her so much, supposed she'd always assumed that even gay people kissed someone straight in their teenage years. Though in all fairness she didn't know anything about Emily's sexuality; how early in her life she'd known, how soon she came out, it made sense that maybe she had known long enough for her to never do anything with a boy.

Emily shrugged, near enough confirming Naomi's thoughts, "No point when I've always been into girls."

"Well your dad then, surely you kissed your dad on the lips when you were a kid."

Emily just shrugged. Naomi let a small smile creep across her lips. They were having a conversation that wasn't ending in Emily being Emily, they were talking like human beings instead of throwing insults back and forth.

"Why are we still talking?" Emily moaned, bursting the bubble instantly.

"I don't know," Naomi whispered, twisting her lips to one side of her mouth.

"Just fuck off, go shag Freddie or something."

"What the?" Emily's words came out of left field, making Naomi even more confused by her weird ways. "What is wrong with you? For once we have a normal conversation, and I have absolutely no interest in Freddie."

"Whatever."

*

_Emily_

Anger and frustration did funny things to people but so did people being nice. A switch seemed to flick on as soon as anyone acted nicely or Emily would find a way to turn it around, to ruin things before they even began. She didn't even know why. The first day of college had so much promise, so many possibilities. The summer itself had been her happiest time in years. A trip to France with her dad, a week at her grandparents in Liverpool, a few day trips around Bristol and the surrounding area. The move had been an adventure and most importantly, a time for Emily to move on with her life and forget everything she'd happily left behind. As anything else in her life the positive turned to sorrow as things seemed to spiral out of control. She could barely see it happening, didn't even stop to think that treating people badly would not solve her problems, would only create new ones.

"Sorry," she shouted over the top of the music, bumping into to someone as she tried to get through the crowd.

There were so many people in such a small space, it felt suffocating. She needed some air. Eventually a cool breeze hit her skin and the sweet smell of cannabis reached her senses. She spotted Effy stood by a wall breathing in the fumes of her messily rolled spliff.

"Could I have some?" Emily asked, accepting it the moment Effy handed it over. She coughed at first, wasn't used to the smoking, until it became easier to handle and she embraced the relaxed feeling of the drug.

"I wanna be your friend Emily," Effy informed her, taking back the cigarette, pausing long enough to talk before pushing the end between her lips.

"I thought we were," Emily replied, though knew that she'd been avoiding the brunette, hadn't quite managed to forgive herself for trying to kiss her. Effy just tilted her head, didn't need to say anything for Emily to know. "Okay."

"Anything new with you?" Effy grinned, her perfect smile still enough to make Emily want to jump her. She pushed the thoughts aside and let a small, weak smile grace her face.

"Erm, well, no."

"I hear your dad's fucking Naomi's mum, kinda funny, don't you think?"

Things were good between them, things were finally okay. It took everything Emily had not to ruin it, not to say something she was going to regret. She just shrugged, avoided looking at Effy until a silence grew and though it felt awkward to Emily she knew that for Effy it was the most comfortable thing in the world.

*

_Katie_

Freddie confused her. He appeared to be pretty laid back, the kind of guy it was difficult to tell if he was actually always that way or if he was never anything but high. Compared to Cook he was like a shy child to an energetic one. Except that the two friends appeared to have a fiery relationship. Katie had never seen the less relaxed side of Freddie and she realised that up until then it had been a good thing.

"You fucked up bastard, think I don't see what you're doing?"

"I don't want Effy, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

It had occurred to Katie that Effy was very beautiful, so beautiful and stunning that every boy seemed to want her and every girl wanted to be her. Cook was very lucky in that respect, had got the chance to be with the great Effy Stonem before anyone else in the college. What was unexpected was the fact that Freddie, laid back, 'I don't give a fuck about anything' Freddie, seemed to want her twice as much.

"Come here," a voice yelled through the crowd and a pair of hands tugged on Katie's arm until she found herself stood in a tiny space as far back into the building as you could get.

The number of people were packed in so tight that Katie couldn't help wonder just how safe the whole thing was. She barely had time to process her thought when a pair of lips pressed against hers and she responded. They pulled apart and JJ's eyes stared deep into her own, a huge grin on his face. She let his arms wrap tightly around her to make it feel like it was just them in a tiny bubble with hundreds of people so close but unable to penetrate it.

"You looked in need of saving," he smiled.

"I was."

"I do hope Cook and Freddie stop fighting over Effy, she's beautiful but there are other girls in our college to look at, I think I got quite lucky meeting you on the first day otherwise I'd probably be fighting with them too and well I'd much rather feel you up now and, oh bobbins."

Katie laughed, pressing her lips against JJ's as she guided his hand to the front of her top, allowing him access to the one thing he seemed to want.

"Bobbins, bobbins, bobbins," JJ called out until Katie silenced him again, pulling herself closer to him until she could feel the pressure of his fingers carefully massaging her breast.

"Sorry," JJ muttered, pulling away.

"Don't be. It was nice."

*

_Emily_

The girl was tall, a few inches taller than Effy, which for someone as short as Emily was actually a huge turn on. Her long dark hair waved down her shoulders, hanging loosely around her chest. Two piercing green eyes looked at her confidently and Emily could feel herself growing a little bit hot.

"Em, this is Jamie," Effy announced, leaning in close as she hugged Emily loosely. "Apparently she likes you."

The two of them were left alone. Emily seemed to lose her ability to speak as the beautiful girl continued to stand in front of her, her mouth opened briefly as she let out of a simple smile. Emily needed to get over her feelings for the wrong people, she knew it had to happen and she wondered if Jamie was just the girl to help.

"I've seen you around college."

Emily frowned, "Really? I've not really seen you."

"I'm not in every day, I'm part time."

"Oh. Why's that?"

The conversation flowed freely and within only a few minutes Emily had learnt about Jamie's life. She had a Scottish accent that seemed to have softened through the years she'd spent further down south. It caught Emily's ear and made her want to listen to her forever. She'd never really bothered with accents before, didn't have a specific accent she loved over another, but she did like Jamie's.

"You have really beautiful eyes," Jamie whispered, leaning in until their lips were pressed together.

The kiss happened quickly. The moment Emily's lips touched Jamie's, Naomi's face clouded her mind, taking over her thoughts until she was back at Laser Quest with Naomi's lips pressed against hers. Her lips were forced apart by the soft tongue, her thoughts turning to fantasy as she imagined Naomi kissing back, fighting entrance to her mouth until she pulled away.

"Naomi," Emily whispered, her eyes still closed, picturing Naomi's blue eyes until she opened them to find green staring back at her and her voice trailed off. "I don't,"

"You don't what?" Jamie muttered, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Don't want to kiss me because you're hung up on some girl called Naomi?"

"It's not like that. Naomi's just a friend, fuck she's not even that. I hate her."

Jamie tilted her head to the side, "Doesn't sound like you do."

"What would you know?" Emily snapped, regretted her harsh tone instantly. "I've known you for five fucking minutes."

Jamie closed her eyes, looked really quite gutted by Emily's actions, "Effy said you were a really great girl, guess she was wrong."

Emily could feel herself shaking, realising her mistake, but there was nothing she could do to stop herself from pushing the knife that little bit further, "I guess she was."

*

_Katie_

The toilets left nothing to be desired. It was a surprise that they even worked when the rest of the building was so rundown. Katie looked at her appearance in the mirror, carefully analysing the slight red mark on her neck. The thought of getting a love bite made her blush. Suddenly the door opened quickly and a flash of red hair caught her attention as the middle cubicle door closed and locked.

"Emily?" she whispered into the silence.

The only response that came, "Fuck off."

"Didn't actually want to talk to you, just wanted to know if it was you," Katie rolled her eyes and turned to face the door.

Katie waited for ten minutes. In that time she decided that she definitely didn't like Emily, that the girl was nothing but a horrible person and that she wished there was a way she could pay her back for the way she'd treated her earlier in the evening. When Emily didn't come out she pondered the situation further, before returning to the party.

*

_Emily_

The moment the toilet door closed and Emily was sure that Katie had left, she straightened out her skirt and pulled on the door handle. The door didn't move. She rolled her eyes, frustrated at it getting stuck, was sure it hadn't been difficult to shut but continued to pull on the handle until her arm began to hurt.

"What the fuck?!" she screamed out, banging her fists against the door and sitting back down on the closed toilet seat.

She didn't want it to be true, had tried to block out the possibility as she'd tried her hardest to open the door but couldn't deny what had happened any longer. The door was jammed. The moment she realised her heart began to race and her breath became harder to handle. She glanced around the tiny cubicle and cursed at the full length doors and walls. Panic rose inside her chest and as much as she tried to get a handle on her feelings, she could feel herself growing more and more out of control.

*

_Naomi_

The building seemed to be packed to the rafters and though Naomi didn't mind the intense heat created by so many people she couldn't help roll her eyes at how out of control the party seemed to have become. A number of drunken, or stoned idiots were throwing cups and bottles across the room causing small puddles of glass to appear on the floor, one even landed quite close to Naomi's head.

"Fucking wankers," she moaned, sending death stares across the room. Her face lit up as she caught Katie heading towards her, pulling her arms until she had forced her to join her.

"Oh hey," Katie smiled.

"Having a nice time with JJ?"

Katie blushed, "He's a gentleman. He's gone outside to get some air though, I think it's getting pretty warm."

"It's like a sauna," Naomi grinned. "Have you seen Emily since earlier?"

A cheeky grin spread across her face, "I locked her in the toilets."

Two bodies fell between them, pushing them apart as they stumbled through the crowd smashing into everything in their path. Naomi let out a sigh when she noticed Cook's tattoo appear as his shirt rode up and Freddie's hair flying around.

"You did what?" Naomi gasped, trying to avoid the two brawling boys as she walked towards the toilets in a rush.

"What are you doing?" Katie questioned.

Naomi's attention was temporarily turned to the bottles of vodka that fell off the bar, pushed by Cook's head, causing them to smash in a line. She pushed the toilet door open, waiting to respond to Katie. The door swung back and forth for a moment, making Naomi frown at the bright orange lights shining from the other side. She shook her head and turned to the door, unlatching the latch used to padlock it from the outside.

"It was a joke Naomi," Katie tried to defend herself, but Naomi was feeling rather irate.

Rob was her mother's boyfriend, which meant that she had to be nice to him and though she didn't see that a reason to be nice to Emily, she knew that Rob cared about his daughter and for that reason she couldn't let the 'joke' continue.

"You think it's a joke? Some people get really bad fears about things like that, fucking hell Katie."

Katie looked about ready to cry, "I'm sorry."

The door swung open and Emily was curled up on the toilet seat, her eyes streaming with tears. Naomi glanced at Katie once more, noticing the anguish in her face as she knelt on the floor in front of Emily.

"Are you okay Ems?"

The red head took a moment to realise what had happened and when she did she jumped off the seat almost knocking Naomi down, "You fucking bitches, lock me in the fucking toilet? What sort of low life scum are you?"

It hadn't even been her fault yet Naomi felt guilty and ashamed. Emily pushed past them until she was stood staring into the mirror, carefully analysing her red eyes. A number of screams came from the other side of the door catching their attention.

"What was that?" Katie asked, looking from Naomi to Emily with worry.

"Does it matter? Fuck off and leave me alone, alright?" Emily snapped.

She was sick and tired of Emily treating her the way she did. Naomi rolled her eyes and opened the toilet door. She was taken aback as she was hit by a wall of thick smoke and in the distance a number of yellow and orange flames that were burning profusely.

"Fucking hell," she called out, letting the door close for a moment. "There's a fucking fire."

"What are you talking about?" Emily asked, shrugging her shoulders, but it was obvious as the smoke started to seep into the room.

Naomi shouted again, "The fucking building is on fire."

The screaming got louder as Naomi and Katie rushed for the door. She turned around and called out Emily's name, before getting a quick response that made her feel comfortable to continue moving through the building. The crowd was going insane, everyone was moving about at different paces; some were running, some barely crawling as the shock of the turn of events hit everyone. Naomi span around to find Katie and Emily had gone. She pushed through the crowd, forcing her way towards the exit as the crowd surged and she felt herself being pushed outwards. A few people stumbled behind her and she could hear people crying out with fear and dread. The thick, black smoke was filling her lungs and it was getting harder to breath but as she reached the fresh air she felt her whole body perk up in time to watch another crowd surge and the screams of people frightened by the fire seemed to turn to screams and cries as a number of people fell on top of each other, some being trampled over as others attempted to save themselves.

*

_Emily_

There was a fire. The first thing Emily pictured was a bin set alight by idiots with a bottle of vodka and a bunch of matches. The moment the smoke filled the room she could feel her lungs filling up with the toxic air. Naomi and Katie disappeared, leaving her alone as she muttered a response. She opened the door and watched a large number of people looking for the exit, everyone seemed to be separated from the people they'd been with all night and Emily couldn't help wonder if Naomi and Katie had reached the exit. The crowd surged in front of her and she watched in horror as a couple of people went flying to the floor, others literally climbing over them in panic. When the surge stopped Emily braved the crowd, pushed through a number of people as she tried to head for the open doors. Her lungs filled up further and she found it even harder to breath.

"We're gonna die," someone was muttering repeatedly beside her, sounding closer to insane than scared.

Somehow she got spun around, disorientating her for a moment as the crowd moved again, people from behind pushing causing a domino effect as a number of people went flying. Emily maintained her balance until a second surge seemed to overtake the first and she felt herself falling forwards, her head colliding with something hard as she travelled through the air, landing on the ground with a thud. Her head hurt, really hurt as she tried to open her eyes, tried to crawl along the floor until someone's foot jabbed hard into her wrist and she felt pain shooting through her arm, her body pushed about again as the smoke seemed to consume her and found the whole situation moving further and further away until all that was left was black.

*

_Katie_

Somehow Katie held back, could see a group of idiots pushing forwards against the crowds, which seemed to cause everyone to tumble. It was like a horror film, watching people knowing that their chance of survival was very slim because of the actions of others. She didn't feel scared. There was a level of calm hovering inside of her as she scanned the crowd, searching for anyone that might need help. Her gut instinct took over and she helped a number of people to their feet. The flames and smoke were growing in size and density and the number of people were decreasing. She found herself in the middle of a burning building which the majority of people seemed to have escaped from, staring into the abyss as the smoke made her head grow lighter.

"Emily?" she screamed out, kneeling on the floor as she caught sight of that red hair she couldn't seem to forget. She'd never been able to place the familiarity of the hair until she looked through an old photo album and found a picture of her grandma when her mum was a baby. She too had a mess of flaming red hair that always made Katie smile and she'd realised that Emily's hair reminded her of her grandmother.

Her lifeless body was not moving. It was difficult to see very much but Katie knelt to the ground, kept low as she checked for a pulse. She could barely feel one as she wrapped an arm around her waist and forced the girl, who was almost the same size as her, onto her shoulder. It hadn't taken a second thought to do it but as she pushed on through the smoky room, actually felt like it was the right thing to do as way of apologising for the incident with the toilet. It didn't matter that she felt her chest tightening with every breath she took. A number of people were still in the building, unconscious, unmoving on the floor. It crossed Katie's mind that they would probably not get out, that some of them were lay on their death bed without even realising it. Her chest tightened further with tears that slid down her cheeks, providing little relief for the heat against her face. The flames were so close, the wall burning all around her and she could feel herself growing weaker.

"Help," she cried out, her voice weak and useless as she saw the exit in front of her.

A number of flashing lights, people mulling around; young people lay on the grass, the pavement, others stood around, huddled together with fear in their eyes. A couple of people crying out for friends, others just crying because of the strain. None of it made much sense as Katie felt a cool breeze hit her skin. Two people were beside her, pulling Emily's limp body from her and she suddenly felt alone, her body beginning to shake uncontrollably.

"Katie!" a voice called out, two arms wrapping around her shoulders as she stared up into Naomi's bright blue eyes. "You got Emily out? You saved her?"

The last thing Katie could remember was Naomi's voice, Naomi's fingers digging into her waist as her legs gave way. She stumbled forwards against her until Naomi was forced to kneel down. Katie could feel her head touching something cool and hard, her chest expanding at an excessive speed until everything disappeared around her.

**Voting time: **_**who should **__**die**__**?**_

_Option 1: _Emily

_Option 2: _Katie

**JOKE!!!**

**I would never ask you to vote on something like that. Here's the real one:**

_Option 1_ - Naomi ends up sleeping in Emily's bed.

_Option 2_ - Rob tells Naomi details about Emily's past.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: I can't even begin to thank you at how amazing it was to wake up to 12 reviews in a very short space of time, it was amazing and I'm just so thankful to you all. Since so many people voted so quickly I decided to write the next chapter, besides the option wasn't the biggest so it didn't effect the majority of the story, especially with the option that was chosen - for Naomi to sleep in Emily's bed.**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Ten**

_Katie_

The oxygen travelled into her lungs, pushing through the smoky substances, replacing the toxins from the fire. The more breaths Katie took into the oxygen mask the easier it all became. She felt weakened and dazed, could barely make out the fact she was sat up in a hospital bed until her eyes locked with the brown eyes she shared with her mother. She pulled the mask down long enough to greet her before being ordered to put it back. It was a relief as that moment away reminded her just how hard it was to breath clearly.

"I am so happy that you're alright," Jenna whispered, standing beside her, pushing her hair back from her face like she used to when she was a child. It made a number of tears reach Katie's eyes and she couldn't help but cry.

"Emily?" she moaned into the mask, her eyes growing wide with concern.

The last hour or two were fairly difficult to remember, but one thing she could was the reason she was in so much struggle for breath.

"Who?" Jenna asked, barely hearing what she'd said due to the distortion of the mask.

Katie pulled it to the side for a second, "My fri, from college."

"Don't you worry about anyone else right now love, just think about breathing all that horrible smoke out of your lungs and getting better."

"The party," Katie cried out, not putting the mask back across her mouth as a million different thoughts came to mind. "JJ, is he okay?"

Jenna stroked a few tears from her eyes, pushing the mask back over Katie's face. She hated not knowing what had happened to anyone, not knowing if everyone else was okay or not.

"It's okay," Jenna mumbled. "We can talk about that when you're back home."

*

_Naomi_

Naomi searched the crowd of parents and journalists lining the doorway to the hospital. It was like a madhouse which people were desperate to break in to. A number of police officers stood with clipboards, surrounded by people calling out names until they were told something, anything about their children.

"Elizabeth Stonem," a voice called out, catching Naomi's attention, she watched as a panic stricken blonde stared at a police man as he searched his lists.

"She's upstairs, second floor, there's an officer up there who will help you find her."

Before Naomi could react the woman was gone, allowed through the door by a couple of officers maintaining the peace. Naomi had never seen such panic and stress, not even at a protest where hundreds and sometimes thousands of people were lined up chanting and cheering.

"Emily Fitch," a familiar voice called making Naomi stamp out her cigarette and wait by the door.

"Naomi," Rob seemed surprised to see her, yet didn't think twice about pulling her into his arms. She wasn't sure if she heard a small sob escape him before they were allowed entrance to the hospital.

"Where's mum?" she asked, his hug was a nice gesture but after the events of the night all she wanted was her mum.

"She's stuck in traffic on Bath Road, it took me half an hour to get across St Andrew's Lane. It's like the whole town is trying to get here."

Trying to hide her disappointment was difficult. She wasn't even hurt. She could have made her own way home had it not been for every taxi company appearing to be booked up for the next hour. Naomi hadn't even wanted to go to the hospital, but they insisted she get checked over like everybody else and as she was friends with Katie it made it easier for her to go with her in the ambulance. The moment they were done she lit up a cigarette and watched the crowds gather. She noted the irony of ending up in hospital because of smoke inhalation only to stand outside with a cigarette. Her heart beat hadn't quite found its way back to normal. At first the crowd was small and no one controlled it, until, like the teenagers at the party, someone decided to push everyone else causing a woman to fall, merely adding to the mayhem. In the end everyone was forced outside, despite it being relatively cold and the police quickly maintained as much calm as possible. Naomi heard one of them informing someone that the accident and emergency was closed to anyone who wasn't brought in by an ambulance. The same officer also informed a handful of people that their children had to be taken to a hospital in the next town because the hospital couldn't cope with so many new patients.

"What the hell happened?" Rob questioned her as they walked down a corridor towards a ward.

Chills travelled down Naomi's spine at the sight of a middle aged couple sobbing in the corridor. Naomi imagined they had been given bad news, tried to figure out how many more families would be feeling that way after the fire, how many people might have died, how many people Naomi might have known who wouldn't be coming back to lessons on Monday. Tears clipped her eyes again and she fought with her inner feelings to keep them at bay.

"Emily Fitch," Rob spoke again, stopping in front of another police officer who was directing people to specific rooms.

"Ward two, just down the hall."

She had to rush to catch up, his long legs taking even longer strides than usual. Naomi could feel her stomach lurch. She didn't even know if Emily was okay, wasn't even sure she wanted to hear either way. They were in the intensive care department, the place where life support machines were turned off and people arrested after being listed as critical but stable.

"Where's Emily Fitch?" Rob demanded of a nurse who looked rushed off her feet.

The woman had a harsh tone that she didn't disguise as she made them use the hand sanitizer before she would even let them enter the ward. The moment they spotted Emily, Rob appeared to fall against the bed his body shaking with tears as he clutched tightly onto Emily's pale hand. A number of small sobs surprised Naomi by coming from her own lips. Emily's face was black with soot yet somehow she still had a ghostly appearance. A tube lay across her nose and a monitor beside the bed was beeping, keeping an eye on her heart rate.

"How, how is she?" Naomi whispered, resting a hand on Rob's back, doing everything she could for him under the circumstances. He seemed a broken man, muttering under his breath words that didn't make very much sense.

"I can't, again, too much, again."

"Emily is stable," the nurse informed them. "We're keeping an eye on her oxygen intake due to the fire. We're a little worried about the injury she sustained to her head, so we have to keep an eye on that. She also has a broken wrist."

"But she's going to be okay?" Naomi checked.

She tried to tell herself it was for Rob's sake, that she was asking questions to help him feel better, to help him see that everything was going to be okay. Yet deep down she knew it was for her, for the building feeling of something she had for Emily. Friendship, she assumed, she hoped. Caring for someone who appeared quite broken on the outside and despite never having a nice word to say to her, Naomi could feel a tightness in her chest every time she let her eyes travel to Emily's unconscious form.

"You hear that Rob?" Naomi asked when the nurse had left them alone and Naomi had sat down in the spare chair. "She's going to be okay."

*

_Katie_

It only took a couple of hours for Katie to feel better and though the hospital suggested she stay in overnight, she just wanted to go home to her own bed. The building was too noisy and she suspected people would be coming and going at all hours of the night as more and more people filled up the ward; mostly strangers, but the odd familiar face as well; people at college, even someone she'd seen at the party.

"Are you sure you're okay to come home?" Jenna asked, holding her daughter's shoulder as they walked.

"I'm fine mum, I promise."

They walked down a corridor that had a level of quiet that felt uncomfortable. Katie noticed the words intensive care at various points and she counted herself lucky for not ending up there.

"Katie," a voice called out as two people appeared in front of them.

Naomi's striking blonde hair looked drab and lifeless thanks to the soot, making it appear almost gray. Beside her was a tall man that Katie had never met before. He looked like he'd been crying as he looked anywhere but at Katie and her mum.

"Oh hello Naomi," Jenna smiled. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Did Katie tell you she's a hero?"

The label was not one she felt she deserved but she had little energy to discuss it. Instead Naomi informed both parents about Katie's heroism until Rob looked up and into her eyes. Katie felt a strange ease in his presence as she gave him a slight smile in response.

"This is Emily's dad," Naomi informed them.

Katie waited for Naomi to say his name, it was obviously on the tip of her tongue as the man's eyes locked on her mother's and the only person to speak was not Naomi.

"Robert?"

Naomi and Katie both stared at Jenna until all eyes were on her. The man's eyes narrowed and moved again to Katie, growing wider as he seemed to take in their presence.

"Jennifer?"

The name Robert had hit Katie like a brick but she suspected there were hundreds of Roberts in the world. Yet the moment he responded, not just with Jenna's name, but the name she rarely used, sent Katie's whole body into a spin.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Katie managed to mutter before she ran down the corridor towards the bathroom, her mother's voice and the sound of her feet following her.

*

_Naomi_

It took an hour to get home, to Rob and Emily's. Naomi hadn't even fought the choice, just let Rob take her there. The world was feeling rather separate from her existence and she couldn't understand why. Nothing big had ever happened in her lifetime, nothing that affected her. Once her mum had broken a leg but it was nothing compared to the fire, compared to watching people get trampled over and her friends, the people she cared about taken to hospital. They sat down in the lounge and though Naomi wasn't really paying any attention, Rob handed her a cup of coffee that she gratefully accepted. They turned on the news, just to fill the silence.

The reported was on location, looked mournful on the screen, "Sixteen people have been confirmed dead, another ten are seriously ill of which four are critical. Scores have been injured in what is being described as the worst fire in Bristol's history."

A man sat in a studio had a similar look, "And do we know anymore details about the fire itself?"

"We don't Harry, what we do know is the Brownlow Road Labour Club has been in disrepute for two years after the regeneration in this area of the city was announced, families were moved out, relocated and then the funding for the project was removed. It is believed that this club has been used for illegal parties over the course of the last twenty four months but the building was not deemed dangerous. All of the ground floor windows are boarded up and a couple of the doors have been permanently sealed, which means the only way in and out of the building is through the front entrance. It has been confirmed that two of those that died suffered from injuries caused by a crowd surge as a result of panic ending in tens of people on the floor while eye witness reports suggest people were just climbing over each other to escape."

"Are the deaths expected to rise?"

"The fire itself was contained twenty minutes ago and fire-fighters have not yet been able to get into the building after the initial rescue attempts, but there are ten people listed as missing and fears suggest they may have been trapped inside."

"Thank you, that was Billy Paymen reporting on the fatal fire that killed sixteen young people in Bristol and injured scores more."

The door opened and Naomi jumped from her seat, rushing into the hallway until she spotted her mother who instantly dropped her bags.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get to the hospital love," Gina announced. "The traffic has been a nightmare and then my stupid heap of junk conked out and I've only just managed to get it started again."

Excuses made no difference to Naomi, she rushed forwards, flinging her arms around Gina's neck, standing on her toes to allow herself to be as close as physically possible to her mother. Gina's arms slid around her waist, hugging her tightly as Naomi's body shook, tears breaking her calm exterior as she fell apart.

"It's okay," Gina soothed, rubbing her daughter's back until her sobs grew smaller and less painful. "Mum's here."

She didn't expect to end up in tears, had never been quite so happy to see her mum in all of her life. Her heart raced again, beating fast as the evening's events began to hit her hard. She continued to cling to her mum, pushing her face against her shoulder, not wanting to give up that close connection she knew was often overshadowed by her sometimes unfair moods.

"I love you so much," Naomi sobbed, a few tears following their predecessor's.

"Oh, I love you too Naomi, you're my everything, I'm just so relieved that you weren't one of the unlucky ones."

Naomi pulled away, her face bright red with tears, "Emily," she whispered.

"I know," Gina assured her, rubbing her shoulders. "But she's doing okay, so we just have to hope that she gets through this and we have to be there for Rob."

Naomi nodded as Gina's fingers wrapped around her cheeks, "Now my sweet baby girl, is there anything I can get for you? Anything I can do to make you okay?"

"No," Naomi replied. "I just want to go to bed."

Gina nodded, wrapping her arms around Naomi's shoulders whilst they walked to Emily's room. Naomi stripped down to her underwear as Gina set up the sofa bed. A chill hit her bare skin which felt like a welcomed relief from the memory of the fire's heat.

"Will you be alright?"

Naomi nodded again, let a tiny, thankful smile creep across her lips and she hugged Gina, told her she loved her once more before wishing her a good night. When the door closed behind her mum she turned to the sofa bed, sliding out of her underwear as she stared at the sheets. Instead she took a step towards Emily's bed, pulling back the covers as she slid under them. The sheets smelled like Emily, the pillow scented just like the shampoo Naomi had once tried. Under any other circumstance Naomi knew it looked weird, to be lying in Emily's bed, to be taking in every smell. If she was honest with herself, she just wanted to be close to her, couldn't even explain why, she just needed to feel like Emily was there, like Emily wasn't hooked up to all sorts of machines with a number of injuries. She couldn't describe what made her want to be there, except that she couldn't imagine herself being anywhere else.

*

_Katie_

Katie insisted that she was fine, she wouldn't let her mum take her back to the doctor, just insisted that they go home, that all she needed was a good nights sleep. In the end she'd stayed up with Jenna, sat at the kitchen table as they sipped on hot chocolate. Her mother was acting strange, suspiciously and Katie was constantly reminded of the things she'd told her about her dad.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, watching Jenna's distracted face realise that she was being asked a question.

"Fine love, what about you? You must be exhausted?" Katie nodded.

There were other alternatives to the man, Robert, being her dad. He was probably the man she'd married, but that didn't mean they'd stayed together. The last letter suggested they could have separated, gone their separate ways before Katie had even been conceived. That still didn't explain the baby her mother had been pregnant with before her own birth.

"I am."

The moment Katie was tucked up in bed, despite her mother insisting in being tucked up beside her, she couldn't stop thinking about Robert. It was a popular name. There was nothing to suggest he was even the man from the letters.

"Mum?" Katie whispered into the dark, listening for an answer, only to hear the even breathing of her mother, asleep.

There were two possibilities that seemed to jump out; that the man had been married to her mum and they'd separated before Jenna had met Katie's dad, or that Jenna had lied and Robert was her father, who was very much alive.

_"This is Emily's dad," Naomi informed them._

Everything Katie had thought about since bumping into Naomi and the man was the fact he knew Jenna, the fact they used the same names as the letters. It hadn't even registered with Katie that Robert was in fact Emily Fitch's dad. Sickness built in her stomach again and she found herself crawling along the floor as she rushed to the bathroom. Once there she gagged, coughing and crying as sickness controlled her.

"_This is Emily's dad."_

Emily's dad. It was purely possible that Robert and Jenna had parted ways and gone on to have separate children. Except that the red hair of Emily's made her body shake. The hair that reminded her so much of her grandmother's, yet she'd not once associated it with her own because she'd spent the last four years dying it darker than it really was. Katie ran a finger through her dark hair, trying to think back to how it was naturally, the lighter, redder shade that she assumed would look very similar to Emily's.

_"Twins, you're fucking twins."_

A faint memory of Cook from the first week of college, every single person in the newly formed group seeing Emily and Katie as very similar, noticing what neither of them was able to. The thought hit her hard, making her stomach twist again and her insides found themselves spilled out into the toilet bowl.

_"Twins, you're fucking twins."_

"_Your dad died when you were a baby."_

"_This is Emily's dad."_

"_Jennifer?"_

"_Robert?"_

All of the thoughts danced around her brain, making it hurt with every waking moment. Katie flushed the toilet and wiped her face, drinking hastily, trying to take back as much hydration as possible. Her face became cool to the touch and she wiped herself with a towel before climbing back into bed. There were so many things to think about, so many things to struggle with. Despite that after the extreme events of the night, Katie found her eyes closing, her body relaxing quickly until she was asleep.

**I'm sorry if anyone is disappointed with the result of the options, I guess I tricked you a little with the wording.**

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

_Emily Option 1:_ Naomi visits Emily in hospital.

_Emily Option 2: _Emily discharges herself from hospital.

_Katie Option 1: _Katie goes to Emily's house to see Rob.

_Katie Option 2: _Katie confronts her mum.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you all so very much for your continued interest in this story. I really do appreciate every single review and vote. The winners this time were: Naomi visits Emily in hospital and Katie confronts her mum. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Stokley27 - Jenna and Rob were both shocked to bump into each other at the hospital. Jenna didn't have a clue they were there, so it all came as quite a shock to find out Emily was too. Hopefully you'll be happy with how it goes in this chapter.**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Eleven**

_Katie_

Katie woke up every hour until the morning. At twelve she'd stared at her mother sleeping beside her, at one she'd let thick tears fall from her eyes, at two she climbed out of bed because she was shaking so much she didn't want to wake her mother.

"Robert," she whispered into the dark, sitting against her bedroom door as she stared at her mother's sleeping form.

When she finally got back into bed she woke every hour in the midst of a nightmare. It wasn't normal to return to it as soon as she fell back to sleep, yet somehow it appeared to carry on.

"_He's your dad."_

"_She's your sister."_

"_Fucking twins."_

Voices were spinning around in her head, voices she didn't even know telling her that Robert was her dad and Emily was her sister. She didn't even know for sure, yet they kept telling her until she couldn't think of anything else. Even Cook had been there, with his leering voice about twins, being twins. In the end Katie stayed awake as long as possible, hoping to escape the thoughts inside of her head. But even that didn't stop her. She finally slipped back into a slumber and in the midst of people shouting out to her the truth about her existence, a fire was burning around her, heating up every inch of space. By the time she woke up again it was morning, her bedcovers had fallen off the bed and her mother was no longer asleep beside her.

*

_Naomi_

Never in her life had Naomi had such a strange sleep. She wasn't even sure it was a sleep for the most part, just a state of unconscious where her body was utterly relaxed but her mind was still fully functioning. It reminded her of sleeping in a car with a full awareness of everything around her, whilst dozing. When she woke she reached out across the bed, searching for something. She was disoriented, completely confused by her surroundings. One thing she was sure of was that someone had been there, she felt the empty space beside her, blindly feeling whilst her eyes were closed. When she finally opened them she was even more confused.

"Emily?"

The room was empty. The night before flooding her mind until her heart started thumping. She felt sick, knew she'd been through something horrible as she stared around the empty room.

"Emily?" she whispered again.

She finally took in the situation, could feel her chest tightening and her stomach jump about. Panic was rising up inside her body until she felt completely exhausted. It hit her hard. Not the incident; the fire that killed so many people. Emily. She wanted her to be there, had actually believed for a few minutes that Emily had been lay beside her through the night. She was disappointed and it tore her apart inside. She couldn't understand why. Just knew that Emily wasn't there and as much as she denied it, she hated it.

"Good Morning love, how did you sleep?" Gina asked the moment Naomi entered the kitchen.

"Weird," she mumbled, sitting down at the table where Gina placed a cup of coffee and a plate of toast.

"That's understandable. I was reading about post-trauma last night on the computer and it said it might be a bit difficult to sleep."

"Yeah," Naomi whispered, feeling her whole body's weakness.

Her mind was screaming out that it wasn't the fire making her feel that way, it was Emily. She couldn't describe it, couldn't even accept that it was happening. The fire was supposed to be the thing that consumed her, shock they called it when they checked her over at the hospital. They said it would probably hit in the next couple of days. But Naomi wasn't thinking about that and she doubted she ever would.

"Emily's awake," Gina announced as though reading her mind. "Rob went to the hospital first thing. She's fine, she's a bit sore but they expect she'll make a full recovery."

A sob choked Naomi, her throat growing painful as she tried to breath through the tears that came. They shocked her, came out of nowhere until they took over her entire body.

"Oh love," Gina soothed, wrapping her arms around her and rubbing her shoulder. "I know it's been difficult, but you'll be alright and so will Emily."

It was too much. The tears were too much, she wasn't even upset, wasn't even crying because of what had happened. But she couldn't tell her mum that. She couldn't tell her that she was crying because she was happy, relieved that Emily was okay and that the feeling overwhelmed her entirely, making her feel weakened and confused.

"It will get easier," Gina tried, her words falling on deaf ears.

Naomi pulled away, slipped out of her mother's arms. The sobs were making her feel sick, panicked by their intensity. In the end she had to get away, had to escape to Emily's room because there was just nowhere else to go dressed in pyjamas. She stopped in the doorway, stared around at Emily's bed, Emily's laptop, Emily's clothes dotted around the room. Emily was supposed to be there, not in hospital. Her room was lay almost untouched, like Emily had intended to come back, didn't expect that she'd end up in hospital with a broken wrist and a head injury. Even being in Emily's room was too much. She felt suffocated by her feelings, suffocated by the fear of what could have been. She quickly dressed, not caring to put on anything she could find, even a pair of Emily's jeans that were too tight around her legs. The thought occurred to her that she was probably feeling just as much about the fire as she was about Emily. That the shock of the night before was probably making everything more intense, more animated. Either way she couldn't stand being there anymore, just pulled her pig shirt over her head and went for the door, not even responding when Gina asked where she was going, merely left without a word.

*

_Katie_

Anger. It was an emotion Katie had felt multiple times in her life, a feeling she knew everyone had suffered from. Losing her mobile phone, her two best friends having a sleepover without her, her who life being a lie. The extremity of her anger surprised her, yet felt relatively weak in the grand scheme of things. She was sixteen. That meant sixteen years of lies had occurred. Maybe her mum didn't tell her that her dad 'was dead' when she was six years old, but the omission of the supposed truth was enough. Even that wasn't the truth. It had been another lie. It had to have been a lie.

"Katie, it's JJ. I just wanted to know that you're okay. I tried calling when I got home last night but there was no answer. I called Naomi who said you had to go to the hospital. Please call me, I need to know you're safe. I'm okay. Cook and Freddie are fine too and well Effy ended up under the idiots pushing everyone but her dad said she was okay, actually he swore that she was fucking fine you fucking idiot who calls their kid JJ anyway? But I know it's been difficult for parents knowing their kids were in a big fire that killed people, do we know anyone that died? I hope we don't. I know Naomi is okay, obviously but she didn't really say anything about Emily so I'm worried about her. I guess I should," the voicemail message cut off and Katie wished it could continued, hearing JJ's voice was a welcomed distraction from her life.

"Jonah, I'm fine," Katie whispered into the phone. "As far as I know Emily is in hospital but is doing okay."

She made it quick, wrapped it up within a minute because even though she thought it would help to ring him back and distract herself from her thoughts, it didn't. The thoughts were still there battling for her attention which made her head hurt.

"Mum?" Katie called out as she walked around the house in search of her mother. Jenna was not there and by the looks of the open wardrobe and unmade bed, she'd left in a rush.

Katie stood in the centre of her mothers bedroom. Being there, knowing that things in her life were not as she thought, was hard. It was like being told a family member is sick but not being allowed to discuss it. Sometimes you just need to get out how you're feeling and at that moment all Katie wanted to do was scream. In the end she pulled up a chair and grabbed the box of letters and other things her mother had on the top shelf of her wardrobe. Katie would have reread every letter except that the pile of unopened, unaddressed cards captured her attention.

"Dear Emily," Katie's voice cracked, stopping immediately and the words caught in her throat. She thought she was going to choke on them as she continued to read the birthday message and the 'Love Mum' at the end.

Everything Katie had suspected yet didn't want to be true was there in black and white with every unopened birthday, Christmas and Easter card. She never got Christmas or Easter cards off her mum, so why should Emily?

_'Dear Emily, Happy Sixteenth darling. I cant believe you're all grown up. I miss you more every single day. Know that I love you and always will. Love Mum.'_

The words felt stale and useless. Emily didn't know she was her mother, Katie hadn't even known. The coincidences were too many to let this go easily, it was just too possible. Katie's heart was racing, speeding along as anger grasped her insides, gaining power and control over her body. Katie stared at the pile of cards; one for every year of her birth, one for every year of Emily's birth. It was too much. She couldn't handle it, couldn't look at them any longer. Rage took over and she lifted a number of cards into her hands, ripping them up until there were double the number of bits scattered across the floor. She didn't feel better as tears streamed down her face. She didn't feel like she could handle it any easier. Jenna was still Emily's mum. Rob was still so obviously the father of both of them. And worst of all, Emily was nothing less than her sister.

*

_Naomi_

The hospital felt different the next day. There was no one stood outside the emergency entrance, except a man smoking a cigarette. There were no parents lining corridors, speaking to the police whilst they established where their children were. There were no police at all. Naomi wasn't even sure which ward Emily was on, or if it was the same as the night before. In the end she followed the same path and though she imagined there would be a quicker way, she took it anyway. There was a glass window between the corridor and the ward. Naomi stopped and watched through the blinds, searching for Emily's bed when a woman appeared beside her.

"Can I help you?"

"I've come to see Emily Fitch."

"Are you a relative?"

"I'm her, I'm her," the words caught in her throat. What was she? She had no idea. "I'm her girlfriend."

The words came out of nowhere and shocked her completely. She made it up to get in. It was the only way. It then occurred to her that sister would have been closer to the truth.

"Okay," the woman nodded. "Someone is with her right now, but if you wait here I'll let you know when you can come in."

The woman disappeared back into the room and Naomi could feel her hands shaking as she pressed them against the glass. She tried to forget what she'd said, had only said it to get in to see Emily, that was all. She turned back towards the glass and stared towards Emily's bed at the woman sat beside her. She had dark hair, almost black that hung low on her back. Naomi could feel her brow furrowing with confusion. Who was that woman? Emily didn't know many people in Bristol, just the ones at college and the woman looked like she was probably older than school age. Not that Naomi could even see her face, which was covered in the thick hair.

"You can come in now," the nurse from earlier announced, holding the door open and giving her instructions on the use of hand sanitizer.

Naomi followed her across the room towards Emily's bed which was now vacant of visitors. Naomi turned around in search of the woman, wondering who she was, but to no avail. She'd already left. Naomi sat down and wrapped her hands around Emily's, it was warm which comforted her.

"I don't understand this," she mumbled, surprising herself as more words came out. "You don't even like me, I thought I didn't like you, it's fucked up."

A number of tears escaped her eyelids and she could feel her body shaking from the sobs. It seemed to be happening a lot, crying. It bothered her and she wished that they could stop.

"I just, I just want you to be okay, I don't," Naomi cried, wiping her face with one hand. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't."

Emily's limp hand tightened around Naomi's. It shocked her. She pulled her hand back and wiped her eyes quickly, maintaining her composure as Emily opened her eyes. Those deep, brown eyes stared at her in confusion until she finally spoke.

"Naomi? What are you…?"

"I, your," Naomi stuttered, trying to find the perfect excuse. "Your dad didn't want you to be alone."

"Oh."

"Did you hear, did you," Naomi mumbled, struggling over her words.

Emily shook her head. "I was asleep."

The only thing Naomi could feel was relief. She stood up, pulled herself out of the seat and away from the bed, pushing a distance between them.

"Are you okay?" Emily whispered, her voice deeper than usual.

Naomi nodded, "I, yeah. I should go."

She couldn't stay there whilst Emily was awake. She didn't even know why she went in the first place, couldn't decide if it was to do with whatever feelings were raging inside of her, or if it was a concern that Emily was alone and that Rob would prefer her not to be. She muttered an excuse and before Emily could react, she'd left the room.

*

_Emily_

The whole day had been a confused mess of people she knew and didn't coming and going. Emily woke up to a number of people standing around her bed. A man with a stethoscope was poking her and a woman in a blue outfit was injecting something into the thing attached to the back of her hand. The moment she'd woken they asked her questions about an incident she couldn't remember and informed her that her dad was being called. Eventually he appeared in front of her and before she could voice her confusion at the whole thing, he'd wrapped his arms around her and was sobbing against her chest.

"I thought I was going to lose you again," he cried out, filling the silence between the beeping machines and people working.

Rob had stayed for a while which made Emily happy. He talked about a fire that she had only a faint recollection of and told her that Naomi was fine and that Katie had saved her life. The whole thing felt alien to her. Katie didn't even like her and Naomi seemed to be sat on the fence leaning towards dislike.

"I can't believe this, I can't believe you're here and you're," a voice had pulled her from her sleep.

After Emily's dad left she had a rest, closed her eyes and went to sleep because there was nothing else to do and she was so incredibly tired. But then a hand held hers and a voice started talking that she didn't even recognise. She opened her eyes a tiny bit to find a woman sat beside the bed; her dark hair framing her face, covering up her eyes whilst she cried. Emily didn't want to open her eyes fully, was too scared to face this stranger at her bedside. Instead she closed her eyes and dozed off again. Until she felt another hand wrap around her fingers and when she came to, it was Naomi.

"Don't go," she whispered.

It was too late. Naomi had already left the room. Emily could feel her weakness making her want to cry. Other than her dad, the only other person she really wanted to see was Naomi.

*

_Katie_

Katie was still sat on the floor when she heard the front door open. She looked around at the mess surrounding her, figured she should probably tidy it all up, but decided not to. She had to know the truth and she had to make sure Jenna couldn't escape the questions. Jenna shouted Katie's name, her voice getting louder as she came closer to her bedroom.

"What in God's name?" Jenna gasped, staring at her daughter and the papers on the floor. "What have you done?"

"I," Katie could feel tears still hovering on the surface as she stared at her mum.

"What right do you think you have going through my personal things?"

Gasping for breath, the tears streamed down Katie's cheeks again as she climbed to her feet. She could hardly believe what her mother was saying.

Jenna's gaze was stern, "These things do not concern you."

Katie felt anger raging in her chest, "Doesn't concern me?"

There was an element of control that Katie had maintained up until that point. She was angry but she managed to keep it at a level that didn't completely take her over. Suddenly it felt like she couldn't control herself any longer, her throat was aching to be active.

"You lied to me," she muttered, her voice growing stronger and more confident as the words came out as a scream. "You lied to me about my dad, didn't you?"

"Katie, please," Jenna warned, appearing rattled by the suggestion.

"Just tell me, just tell me the fucking truth mum. You lied to me that my dad is dead, he's not dead."

The letters were on the floor. Katie lifted them up and scrunched them up in her hand, holding them to her mother who was stood so close that she could see the pain in her brown eyes.

"He's my dad isn't he? Robert, he's my dad?"

Jenna's eyes grew even wider, realising that she couldn't escape her lies anymore, couldn't brush off the past as tears slid down her cheeks. "Yes, your dad didn't die."

"I didn't ask that," Katie shouted. "I asked if Robert is my dad, if Emily's dad…is my dad?"

Jenna's head moved up and down, a slight nod that spoke volumes. The whole thing was effecting Jenna more than Katie realised it would. She felt her own tears come under control as she clenched tightly to the letters again before dropping them to the floor. Jenna looked more than shocked, she looked broken.

Katie's voice was calmer, "And Emily?"

Talking about Emily changed everything. Katie watched as Jenna bent down to pick up the papers; the letters, the cards. She held them in her arms, clutching them like a baby who needed comfort. Katie turned around and stared at her mother, scrabbling about on the floor looking like a child picking up dropped sweets. There was an urgency in her eyes. Katie watched her, staring into those eyes, feeling like a stranger was staring back.

"We're twins aren't we?" Katie whispered, the words rolling off her tongue, feeling so painful that it physically hurt to speak them.

Jenna stopped moving. She sat down on the floor staring up at Katie. Their eyes locked for a mere second before Jenna looked away and she nodded her head. Sobs, gasps for breath and the feeling of sickness made Katie gag. A hand slipped across her mouth as she fled the room. The bathroom would have been the first possible place to go, but she couldn't. Instead she opened the front door and ran outside, stopping by the gate onto the street to throw up in the flower bed. She fell to her hands and knees whilst her stomach lurched. Eventually the front door opened again, Jenna following her out into the garden her face covered in tears and regret.

"Katie, please come back inside."

She couldn't be there anymore. She couldn't listen to her mother's voice, couldn't even look at her because it hurt too much. In the end she climbed to her feet, fumbled with the handle to open the gate and fled the garden at a fast pace, trying to get as far away, as quickly as possible.

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

_Katie's options: Where does Katie go?_

1) To Rob and Emily's.

2) To her grandparents in Scotland.

_Emily's options: When Emily gets out of hospital what happens?_

1) Gina and Naomi go home leaving Emily and Rob have a big talk about everything she's been feeling.

2) Emily makes Rob send Gina and Naomi home.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you all for such a rapid response, I think that's the most votes I've had since the earlier chapters, so thanks! The winners for this chapter were Emily and Rob have a good talk after Naomi/Gina leave...and as for Katie...well, you can wait and see where she chooses to go.**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Twelve**

_Naomi_

The meal was silent. Naomi picked at her food. She wasn't hungry, wasn't even a little bit interested in eating. The past couple of days were a jumbled mess of mistakes, panic and worry. Nothing was clear in her mind. She even wondered if she'd made up some of it to make herself feel better.

"The doctors said that she can come home tomorrow as long as she's not left alone in the house and stays strictly on bed rest for the next two weeks."

"That's fantastic Rob," Gina smiled, resting a hand over his wrist and giving his fingers a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah."

"I think that's our queue to leave, don't you love?" Gina asked, turning to Naomi with a small smile on her face.

Naomi was pulled from her reverie, "What?"

"We'll go home in the morning. Give Emily and Rob chance to have a break from us and let Emily get better."

"Oh, okay," Naomi replied, nodding.

It was difficult to say whether she was still thinking about Emily because over the last few hours Naomi found her senses working overtime. She could smell the fire, could feel the smoke filling her lungs and unlike the actual fire, she couldn't run from it, had no way of escaping the flames making her feel hot all the time. Everything was being processed, she could feel it. With every breath, with every waking hour something disappeared, replaced with something new. She noticed a couple of hours ago that she'd stopped thinking about Emily locked in the toilet and instead thought of Katie coming out of the building with Emily on her arm. After a while she was reminded that Katie had collapsed in her arms and she actually felt the weight hitting her again. It was like reliving the nightmare in real life. Once in a while thoughts of the smoke seemed to invade her lungs and she'd start coughing for no apparent reason.

"I think spending some time at home will be good for you," Gina continued, stroking Naomi's shoulder.

It wasn't difficult to notice that Naomi wasn't even there half the time, that her mind took holidays from reality. It worried Gina, she was concerned for her little girl. She just hoped it was all temporary, all part of the short term post trauma she'd read about. She'd never really rated computers and the internet except to send emails before. She barely even knew how to switch them on. But searching 'Google' had come on the television and she thought she would give it a try, who knew that something like that could give you information on how to deal with the after affects of being in a fire.

"I appreciate you wanting to give us space," Rob smiled. "Just don't be strangers."

"Of course not," Gina muttered, leaning in for a small kiss.

*

_Katie_

The day disappeared quickly, replaced by the early evening darkness. Katie hadn't even noticed as daylight slowly evaporated into black. The clocks had only just gone forwards so the night was darker than usual. The shops were beginning to close, not that she was going in them anyway. But the people were decreasing in number and much as she tried to deny it, the town was daunting when empty.

"Excuse me," Katie whispered to a man stood waiting for a bus. "Is there a youth hostel around here?"

There was no plan. Katie just knew she didn't want to go home, couldn't face her mother because right now it was just too hard. Instead she followed the man's directions back towards the high street and down by the river. She wasn't even sure she had any money or her bank cards on her, just hoped that the bag she picked up on the way out of the door was the right one. She'd been unlucky. A lot had happened that made her feel uneasy. She hoped she wasn't cursed and that the world would help her out. She didn't search her bag until she arrived at the hostel. It was small and not very clean, but beggars can't be choosers. Naomi was spending too much time at Emily's, she was sure she was still there, probably playing happy families with the man Katie was supposed to call her father. She thought about calling JJ but their relationship was new, she didn't know if asking to stay was an option.

"I need a room for one night," she told the man at the desk. Her voice wobbled as she spoke. She didn't want to be there, didn't want to be in the middle of this mess. She never intended to rip her world apart. All she wanted was to know who her father was.

"Cash or card?"

Katie felt herself shaking whilst she searched her bag. Relief set in when she found her purse with her card tucked neatly inside. She paid, got her key and went to her room.

"Hi," a tall, strawberry blonde haired girl smiled at her as she entered the room.

She whispered a greeting back and picked up the sheets from her bed, shaking them out until she'd placed them neatly on the mattress. It was still really early, but Katie felt considerably tired. Her throat hurt and her breathing was a little difficult. She instantly regretted not picking up the medication she'd been given by the hospital. It hurt to breath as she lay down and wrapped the covers around her. She started to shake, the warmth of the bed reacting to the cold of the day outside. Katie's mind was racing, speeding along so fast that she couldn't even keep up with her thoughts. She looked at her phone, at the sixteen missed calls and twelve messages listed on the screen. It was only six in the evening. She closed her eyes, watched the pictures dancing about behind her lids hoping to get some rest, even though she knew it would be impossible.

*

_Naomi_

There was something that could be said about going home. Being able to tuck yourself up in your own bed. It surprised Naomi how easy it was to go back there and attempt to rebuild her reality from the ground up. There wasn't much work to be done, yet it still felt a lot easier doing it in her own house. As she pulled her pillow into her arms the only thing she realised that was missing was the scent of Emily. It became so familiar to her now that she wondered if she'd be able to sleep without it. She tried to tell herself it was just a familiar smell that reminded her of her own family. It wasn't far off the one her mother had. Her sheets, her pillow didn't smell like any of it. Instead they smelled like her.

"Hello?" Naomi spoke into her phone after feeling it vibrate from her pocket. It was Katie's mum.

A number of thoughts went through her mind, not least the thought that Katie night not be okay. The last time she'd seen her, Katie had ran off looking anything but healthy. It was a surprise that she was even allowed to go home so soon after collapsing after the fire.

"Have you heard from Katie?" Jenna's voice whispered into the phone, painfully quiet with the hint of tears.

"No," she muttered in response, her earlier worries only slightly relieved.

"She didn't come home last night."

"I'm sorry Mrs Ashford, she hasn't tried to contact me."

A silence fell between them which was quickly exchanged for a number of sobs, "She won't answer my calls."

"Maybe I could try ringing her," Naomi suggested, feeling bad for the woman.

"Thank you, thank you very much Naomi," she seemed to perk up, sounding relieved and extremely grateful. "You're a really good friend for my Katie."

Naomi held the phone against her ear long after Jenna had hung up. Everything seemed to take a lot longer to complete not to mention focus on. She quickly found Katie's mobile number and pressed the call button, waiting as it rang out continuously.

*

_Emily_

The first thing Emily looked for when she arrived home was Naomi. Rob was adamantly ushering her towards her bedroom but she wasn't having any of it. She made him help her to the kitchen, the lounge and then finally her bedroom.

"Where are they?" she whispered, disguising her desire to see Naomi as a general query for both Naomi and her mum.

"Who?"

"Who do you think?"

"Oh," Rob realised. "They went home, thought they'd give us some space."

She wasn't quite sure where it came from but she felt an overwhelming urge to cry. Emily might have acted like she didn't like having them around, but if she was truthful, she'd grown accustomed to it. Actually began to appreciate it more now that they weren't there. The smell of Gina's concoction of curry and chilli that she'd made, that quite frankly tasted revolting; the weird tea she liked to brew up instead of regular and that huge smile she seemed to have even when the world seemed grey. Emily had never had a mother figure in her life, didn't really know how to respond to having one, she just didn't realise how great it was to have Gina.

"They should be here," she whispered, allowing Rob to help her into bed. "They should live here."

Rob stopped what he was doing, took a step back as he stared at her cautiously, "Are you sure?"

Emily nodded. "I want them here."

Eventually Rob left the room, returning momentarily with the portable television which he set up on her desk. Emily curled up next to him once he'd lay down beside her and they watched some black and white film that didn't really appeal. Emily wasn't too bothered, she was more tired than she ever imagined possible and was only enjoying her father's company. The room faded out and Emily could feel herself dozing off; an intense warmth travelling into her mind and the sounds of people shouting and screaming for help made her jerk awake, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Emily love?" Rob was kneeling beside her, moving closer to pull her into his arms.

The comfort, the safe haven of her dad's arms made her sob harder. She'd been too lost in the weird haze that had taken over her, the cloudy thoughts that didn't connect together. Emily couldn't remember very much about the fire, couldn't remember anything significant. Even asleep she'd not remembered any dreams. It shocked her to come back so strong and intense.

"It's alright love, it's going to be alright," he whispered, feeling less than strong.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, clinging tightly to Rob's shirt, feeling her fingers digging deeply into his skin.

He didn't even flinch. "No love, no, it's okay."

A fierce desire to reach down to her thighs and dig her fingernails into her own skin took over. Emily felt herself tense up in Rob's arms, powerless to the yearning to mutilate her body further than she already had.

"I lied dad," she sobbed, pushing through what her head was telling her.

Rob loosened his grip slightly, until he could see into her eyes, "What about?"

Her eyebrows narrowed, her face twisted with anguish, "I did it, I did it again. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it."

Tears filled his eyes, but he held back. "No, please no, Emily."

"I'm sorry," she cried out, pulling on his shirt to cover her face. "I just want to feel normal."

"You will, you will," Rob assured her, wrapping his arms tightly around her shoulders. "I'm going to make an appointment with a new counsellor."

"No, dad, don't."

It was the last thing she wanted but the only thing she knew could ever hope to make a difference. Her only alternative was one she didn't want.

"You know if you don't, we'll have to get the doctor to put you back on those anti-depressants."

"I don't want that, I don't want to feel nothing again. I'll see a counsellor," she muttered. "I don't want to be on those meds, not again, not ever again."

A silence grew between them, it was comfortable and settling. Emily could feel herself drifting off and only pulled herself from it when she heard her dad's faint voice.

"I could tell you weren't happy, I just didn't want to believe that this place wasn't working for us. I thought coming here would change everything, but we just brought our problems with us."

Emily nodded, too tired to speak any more, too tired to really hold her head up. Rob kissed her softly on the forehead, wiping her tears from her eyes as he climbed off the bed.

"I'll leave you to get some rest, you look about ready to crash."

*

_Rob_

It amazed Rob how hungry doing nothing made him. He was always an active kind of bloke and any chance to sit down and relax was usually not welcomed. Except when Emily needed him. Unfortunately it always made him realise how draining the whole thing could get.

"Bryan, how's the gym mate?" he spoke into the phone whilst buttering a slice of bread. "No, probably won't be back in for a week or two. I'll see how it goes. My little girl's come home and needs me. Alright, speak to you tomorrow, don't forget; don't get Fit, get Fitch."

Usually he ate salad sandwiches, they were the only kind of sandwiches he allowed himself to eat. That's what he told Emily anyway. Once in a while he was actually quite impartial to a good few slices of beef and a huge dollop of Mayonnaise. It was his weakness and for that reason alone he didn't keep it in the fridge.

"Oh you beauty!" he grinned, unlocking the small 'drinks' fridge he kept in the garage.

As far as Emily was aware the fridge contained high energy drinks he used when he was working out. She had never really been into the 'Don't get Fit, get Fitch' malarkey so he knew it would be safe. When his sandwich was finally complete he sliced it in half and stuffed it into his mouth. Every single bite tasted like heaven on earth. Halfway through there was a timid knock at the door that he barely even heard until a second knock followed it.

"Just a minute," he called out, throwing a tea towel over his sandwich as he walked towards the door.

The moment Rob opened it he felt his hand shaking on the handle. The greeting he planned to say caught in his throat as he found himself staring into the soft brown eyes that matched Emily's.

"K, Katie?"

*

_Katie/Rob_

The whole walk from the youth hostel across town, whilst trying to get directions off Naomi without seeming too suspicious, Katie had thought of all the things she wanted to say. She had a list a mile long of questions. That list also had multiple possible answers which she'd concocted in the early hours of the morning as she'd unsuccessfully managed to sleep. The moment the door opened and her eyes caught sight of the unshaven, red eyed man she only vaguely recognised from the hospital, every thought, every question had vanished.

"Are you here to see Emily?" he asked, his voice quavering.

"No."

His hazel eyes narrowed, angling themselves carefully towards her brown ones. A hand moved unconsciously towards her lips. The lips that she'd always known were not from her mother's side of the family, the lips that she now knew were almost identical to the man who was her father.

"C, come on…in," Rob stuttered, words failing him as he stepped aside and let Katie into the house.

Neither of them spoke except when Rob asked if she wanted something to drink. In the five minutes it took Rob to make them a cup of tea each, Katie found herself staring at a picture on the fireplace in the lounge. Emily looked about twelve and she had the biggest smile on her face. She couldn't help question why she'd never seen that same smile on Emily now.

"That was at our old house, in London," Rob's voice shocked Katie and she dropped the framed picture, causing the glass to smash on the floor.

"I'm sorry," Katie gasped, kneeling down to pick up the shattered frame.

Rob moved across the room, kneeling beside Katie as he reached out, his hands touching her wrist, before he pulled it away quickly. "It's okay, just come and get your tea."

It was nerves. She was more nervous than she'd ever anticipated. The mug of tea should have calmed her down, but the chore of trying to hold it up to her lips without her hand shaking was proving too difficult. So she gave up.

"Why are you here?" Rob finally asked, filling the silence that had followed.

"My mum," Katie whispered, the words catching in her throat.

"Jennifer," Rob sighed, closing his eyes.

Katie waited until his eyes were open again before she spoke, "You're, you're my dad."

Another silence followed. It wasn't intentional but Rob had nothing to say. He was processing the situation. He half expected it one day. Seeing Jenna at the hospital he didn't expect Katie to already know, or at least suspect. He didn't realise it was going to happen so soon. Katie had so many things she knew she wanted to say, but they still didn't surface.

Rob got to his feet and picked up the house phone, "I should call your mum."

"No don't," Katie jumped up, panic running through her.

"I can't do this Katie," Rob whispered. "Emily is in her room really sick right now, I have to think about her."

Katie could feel herself shaking uncontrollably, "But I'm your daughter too. Please don't call her, not yet."

The last thing Katie wanted was to face her mother. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. She struggled to believe just where she was, who exactly she was standing in front of. It was like a dream. He wasn't real, he couldn't be real. But he was. Rob stared into his daughter's eyes. She looked so familiar to him, after all the years, she still looked as beautiful as she did the day she was born. A million thoughts ran through his mind. The thought of Emily finding out the truth, finding out that this girl she'd spent weeks at college with was in fact her sister. The thought of facing the woman he hadn't seen in so many years. It was too much. But it was even harder watching Katie sobbing in front of him.

"Oh Katie," he cried out, tears pricking his eyes as he reached forwards and pulled her into his arms, holding her close as he breathed in her scent and tried to remember the last time he'd held his little girl.

**I struggled with Emily's options this time so I hope they're okay.**

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

_Emily Option 1: _Naomi goes round to visit Emily.

_Emily Option 2: _Emily has a relapse and ends up back in hospital.

_Katie Option 1: _Rob lets Katie stay at the house.

_Katie Option 2: _Katie goes out with JJ.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you all to eternity and back for such quick votes and reviews. I thank you all for your continued support and hope you enjoy this chapter. Without you lot I really wouldn't still be here, so thanks again. ENJOY! And don't forget to review and vote. ^_^**

**Chapter 13, unlucky for some? Will it be unlucky for you guys? Let's see shall we...  
**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Thirteen**

_Katie_

Katie wasn't quite sure how it happened. One second she was stood telling the man in front of her that she was his daughter, suggested that she mattered too and the next she was sobbing against his chest, her heart twisting up as she felt overwhelmed by emotion. There was still a strong rage inside of her yet she was surprised she felt none of it for her dad. There were still so many things she wanted to know, so many details she needed to hear because without them it was still the most confusing thing in the world. It didn't matter as much anymore. The urgency to find out the truth was gone, replaced instead by a comforting embrace of her father.

"Oh, my baby girl," Rob cried, tears rolling down his cheeks, landing in her hair as he rested his chin against her head.

Katie pulled away far enough to see his face again, to reach up and stroke his cheek with her hand, "I can't believe it's you."

"And I can't believe how grown up you've got," Rob whispered. "I've not seen you in fifteen years, after your, how could I forget that beautiful face?"

The questions filled her head again, seeping through her brain until her head was almost as full as her heart. Katie had never thought it possible to love someone from the moment you met them, officially stood in front of them knowing who they were, yet she couldn't ignore what she felt.

"There's so much we need to talk about," Rob muttered, filling the silence, pulling Katie from her thoughts.

"I have questions."

"I, I want to answer them Katie," Rob sighed, slipping his hands around her face, wiping her tears as he stared into her deep, brown eyes. "Oh you look so much like your mother, I can't believe it's you, I just can't believe my baby girl is here."

Katie felt safe. She didn't even know Robert, this man, Emily's dad, _her _dad. But she found herself feeling like it was safe to be there, safe to be with him. Part of her wondered if the reason her mum hadn't told her about him was because he was a monster, some horrible man who treated her badly. It wasn't like that. She didn't know for sure, she just suspected that he wasn't that kind of person.

"Does your mum know you're here?"

Katie shook her head, "No. She knows I know, but she doesn't know I'm here."

"Oh."

"Is that a problem?" Katie whispered, biting the inside of her lip.

"I don't want to do anything to make her hate me Katie, I don't want you to be in the middle of this."

She took a deep breath, "I'm not ready to go home, not yet. Please don't make me go."

The two of them stared at each other, their eyes locking as their lips danced between a smile, a frown and utter confusion. Katie just couldn't believe it was happening, the whole thing felt so surreal. She allowed herself to yawn, unable to hold back her tiredness any longer as her hand automatically covered her open mouth.

"Are you okay?"

Katie nodded, "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Would you like a lie down? You can have a kip on my bed if you want."

"Okay," Katie accepted. "Thanks."

*

_Naomi_

Since going home the only thing Naomi had really done was sleep. At first it had been difficult, almost impossible to consider getting any rest. But then she realised just how tired she really was. There was no explanation except that she felt like she'd been hit by a bus. Emotionally pulled through the ringer until she was left warn out, confused and effectively broken.

"There's some soup on the hob," Gina announced the moment Naomi finally pulled herself from her warm and comfortable confinement. "I'm going to take a bath."

"Okay, thanks."

The hot liquidated vegetables tasted like the best thing on earth. She'd barely eaten since the fire, since lunchtime that day. As with sleep it seemed her body was finally rejecting the lack of food and she ate ravenously, like it was her first meal in months. Naomi had always been in support of saving the worlds poor and hungry, she just didn't realise how much hunger could consume you after only a couple of days. She couldn't help wonder if it got easier the longer you were left without, or if it was even worse. She decided she didn't really want to think about it right then, there was too much going on to feel guilty about the poorest people of the world. It was selfish but she knew there was always someone else worrying about them just as much. Instead she continued to eat, polished off three bowls and six slices of bread before regretting the final one. Her stomach was as full as it was going to get. The phone began ringing and though she thought she might burst if she moved, she reached across the kitchen counter to the phone. The wire stretched right across to her seat, thankfully, as she greeted the voice on the other end.

"Oh hi Rob, I think mum's still in the bath."

The phone disappeared from Naomi's hand; she turned in seat, regretting the rapid movement. She rubbed her painfully full belly and watched her mother's eyes gloss over.

"I've missed you too."

Under any other circumstances Naomi would have thought it sounded rather sickly sweet, the love-dovey act she'd never had any desire to take up. Things had changed though. Naomi couldn't help the feeling of excitement over her mums happiness. She'd never seen her that way. There had never been a man that had captured her heart in the way Rob captured it now. Naomi thought of the way she felt about Emily, how she didn't want to feel anything strong because she didn't want to change how things were. It frightened her to love. Not that she ever associated the word with her feelings for Emily. She cared about her as a friend, as a sort of stepsister. Love was always something she'd never allowed in. It was a toss up between whether love had any real emotional purpose and whether her mum had ever really loved the men that cheated on or dumped her. If love could break your heart, then wasn't it better to not love in the first place?

"Oh Rob that's fantastic, I can't wait. Yes I'll get Naomi and we'll come right over."

Naomi stared at Gina waiting patiently for her to speak. It seemed to take a while for her mother to realise that Naomi was waiting. She was almost ready to slap her loved up dazed face to pull her back into reality. Thankfully she did it herself.

"That was Rob."

"I answered the phone mum," Naomi reminded her, laughing at her mother's complete stupidity at times.

"He wants us to go over. Apparently Emily wants us back, even said we have to move in."

Naomi felt her fingers shaking. The thought of spending every night in the same room with her was too much. She didn't think she could cope with that. "She said that?"

"Yes. Come on then love, sort yourself out. I miss the bugger enough as it is."

Naomi let her lips curl at the edges. It still surprised her how happy her mother was. Yet it didn't get old. She stood up, kissed Gina lightly on the cheek and disappeared upstairs to get changed.

*

_Katie_

No matter how hard Katie tried, or how tired she felt, she could not manage to go to sleep. Instead she lay on the bed, curled up in a ball as she held her eyes closed in the hope that sleep would just overcome her.

"My daughter," a voice came from the doorway.

Katie shifted about in the bed until she could see Rob stood there peering into the room. Beside him was the woman she recognised as Naomi's mum, who she also remembered was in fact dating Emily's dad, _her _dad.

"I don't understand Rob. I thought Emily was an only child."

"She's not. She's a twin."

Gina looked more confused than upset, "And she just turned up?"

"On the doorstep a couple of hours ago. I saw her at the hospital with Naomi but I didn't even realise. I was in shock."

"Oh my God. Rob that's Katie."

Upon hearing her name she closed her eyes again tightly, could tell they were both still there even though it was silent. Katie wished she could fall asleep, didn't want to invade on their private conversation. Finding out about Rob had been done by sneaking around and picking up pieces of information that she wasn't really supposed to be privy to. It felt wrong to listen, to be forced to hear Rob sharing the news of his daughter's returning to his life with his girlfriend.

"Err," he paused, sounding a little confused.

"She's Naomi's friend."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense," he muttered, his voice breaking from the strain. A lumped formed in Katie's throat. "This is so hard. How do I tell Emily that I've been lying to her all of her life?"

There was a pause, "She'll come around to the idea."

"You don't understand Gina," he sighed.

Katie wished she could get up, let them know that she was there but she didn't want them to know she'd been listening. What could she do?

"I don't?" she questioned him.

"Emily has problems."

"Everyone has problems Robert," hearing her use his full name made the lump grow. Katie couldn't even bare to think of her mother, to think of how this whole mess was affecting more than just their life.

"I can't tell you everything," he whispered, his voice growing timid. "But Emily's problems are serious. We moved here,"

Katie risked opening her eyes again. She regretted doing so when she spotted Rob bent over, shaking as he cried into Gina's arms.

"If we didn't," he whispered. "I don't know what would have happened but I think I would have lost her."

"You two seem really close," Gina noted, her voice comforting. "I wouldn't have picked you two for a rowing family."

"Not like that."

Gina's gasp was hard to ignore, as were Rob's tears. Katie felt her cheeks get wet and her chest clench. She didn't know the full story, she didn't know anything. But what she did know was enough. She wriggled around on the bed, moaning as though waking up. Gina and Rob quickly disappeared from the doorway and Katie allowed herself to sit up, to stare at the vacant spot as she tried to understand just how bad her families life was when she wasn't in it.

*

_Naomi_

All of Naomi's instincts were telling her to sit in the lounge, to watch a film or read a book. Rob had taken Gina out of the room, she half wondered what for but suspected they were probably just having some alone time. Despite her instincts, Naomi ended up leaving the lounge, walking through the house until she was stood by Emily's bedroom door. It wasn't the first time she'd stood there and she realised that it wouldn't be the last. Her heart was thumping hard in her chest making her stomach twist up in knots. She couldn't make sense of the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Emily?" she whispered, knocking lightly on the door awaiting a response.

After a minutes waiting Naomi tried again before pressing down on the handle and pulling on the door.

"Emily?" she called again softly.

The room was silent. Emily was tucked up in her bed, her chest rising and falling with the rhythm of sleep. Trying hard not to smile Naomi found it near enough impossible. She looked and sounded so peaceful. The past few days had taken their toll on everyone and it suddenly occurred to Naomi that she had no idea if all of her friends were okay or even what level of injury they may have sustained. She made a note to herself which she put to one side as she turned to the red head.

"Emily?" she whispered again, checking how asleep she was as Naomi lowered herself onto the edge of the bed.

She lifted a spare pillow up and held it against her chest. It smelled like Emily. That sweet, beautiful scent that made Naomi's head spin. She pushed the pillow back to the top of the bed and slid across the covers until her head was resting against it and she curled up in a ball beside Emily.

"_You fucking mess with me and I'll, I'll,"_

"_You'll what?"_

Too lost in thought, reminded of the kiss, of Emily kissing her lips like it was the most normal thing in the world; Naomi didn't even realise that two brown eyes were staring at her in confusion, trying to take in just who and what was lying beside her.

"Oh," Naomi whispered, almost as shocked.

Emily's voice was tiny and came out more raspy than usual, "What are you? Naomi?"

"I," Naomi tried to speak, couldn't even breath as she stared into Emily's eyes, could feel her chest painfully tightening.

She didn't move, wasn't even recognising that she was the one invading Emily's bed, her personal space. Instead she was too busy staring at Emily, analysing the way Emily's hair was slightly wavy across her face, a strand of perfectly red hair hanging across her nose so that it moved slightly with every breath. Emily's chocolate brown eyes captivated her, forced her to continue staring into them despite the uncomfortable look on Emily's face. Her small mouth, those lips so soft as she glanced down.

"Naomi?" Emily asked again, looking a little less confused, instead staring back with just as much wonder as Naomi.

The tightening in Naomi's chest didn't go. She felt it grow stronger. Her mind was telling her to move away, to get off Emily's bed and get as far from her as possible. Yet her body was moving differently. There was a lack of control that Naomi had only ever had over her thoughts. Never had she struggled to get her body to do as her mind said, until then. Emily's face was so close she could feel Emily's breath, smell her natural scent mixed with a new, rather sterilised one.

"I," Naomi tried again, but words escaped her, failed her entirely until her lips were pressed lightly against Emily's. The moment of impact and Naomi's heart sped further, her chest growing so painful she thought she was going to have a heart attack and her body growing heated until she'd pulled back and dread replaced the gaping hole inside of her chest.

*

_Emily_

The last thing in the world Emily expected was to feel Naomi's lips on her own again. She didn't even expect Naomi to be there, to be lying on her bed like it was the most normal thing in the world. Naomi didn't look uncomfortable, she looked like she was used to it, used to lying beside her. Emily tried to ignore the signals being sent to her brain that maybe something big was happening, something so big that even she couldn't comprehend it at that moment. She thought she was fooling herself trying to deny that she was feeling something for Naomi, that maybe she was just feeling a desire to have a sister, to have more people in her life that she allowed inside. Yet the moment Naomi's lips touched hers and she knew the truth. Her feelings were real, they were physical and psychological and they were so deep it scared her to think about them. They were also for Naomi, a supposedly straight girl that actually seemed to dislike her underneath all of the caring in the same way that Emily seemed to dislike Naomi. Which, she realised, wasn't very much at all.

"Oh." Emily whispered, her voice useless as Naomi pulled away, jumped off the bed like she had ants in her pants.

"What the fuck did you do that for?"

Naomi was joking. Emily couldn't understand why else she would question what Emily had done when it was all Naomi. Emily hadn't pulled away when she felt Naomi move closer, she didn't even kiss back, she just let it happen.

"I didn't," Emily sighed, still feeling extremely tired and in no mood to argue her case.

Naomi looked panicked, "No, you made this happen, it can't happen again. Nothing can happen."

"I don't understand," Emily whispered, shaking her head.

"I'm straight." Naomi defended herself. "I'm straight and this is fucked up and I,"

The blonde stopped dead in her tracks, their eyes were still connected. Emily could see the deep blue of Naomi's, a shade that looked like the sea in the middle of summer. They were so vast, so colourful and Emily wished she could have stared into them all day.

"I'm really confused and I don't have the energy for this," she muttered, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

Naomi looked so shocked, "This didn't happen."

"Why did you kiss me if you just wanted to deny it?" Emily mused, not really looking for an answer, just hoping that one would come along soon enough.

"It shouldn't have happened, you shouldn't have let it happen."

A small laugh escaped Emily's lips. She could hardly believe what Naomi was saying, how hard she was working to deny that she'd kissed her. No matter how small, no matter how insignificant the kiss was; Naomi had instigated it.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," Naomi demanded, hopping from one foot to the other, her eyes wide with embarrassment and worry.

"No," Emily tried again. "Naomi we're friends, well we can be. I'm sick of how things are."

"What?"

"I just want us to be friends, for our parents sake if not our own."

Naomi was frowning, "But the kiss."

"It doesn't matter, just forget it," Emily assured her, brushing it aside, not even thinking about it.

The taller girl was moving towards the door, edging closer to the wooden frame that separated Emily's room from the hallway. Naomi was eyeing it up, appearing more interested in escaping the messed up situation they were in. The kiss made Emily's lips tingle, the soft texture of Naomi's rosy lips still lingering as she rested a finger against them. She didn't want her to go, realised that was the only reason she'd suggested they be friends, was to keep her there. To stop Naomi from worrying that she'd made a mistake because even if it wasn't what Naomi wanted, Emily couldn't class it as such.

"Please don't go," Emily whispered, waiting for Naomi to react. Her blonde eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "Just lie back down, for a while."

Naomi looked conflicted, struggling to decide whether to listen and follow instruction or escape. "Wh, why?"

There were two answers Emily could have given, the first would have been that she wanted to feel close to her, the second she decided would be more appropriate, "I like the company."

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

_Emily Option 1:_ Emily opens her heart to Naomi.

_Emily Option 2: _Naomi takes a chance with her feelings for Emily.

_Katie Option 1: _Katie, realising how much it could hurt Emily, decides to leave the Fitch house.

_Katie Option 2:_ Gina betrays Rob and Katie by calling Jenna.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you sooo much for everyone's reviews and votes for the last chapter, I think I recieved one of the highest number votes which is amazing, so thanks. The winners this time - Emily opens her heart to Naomi and Katie decides to leave the Fitch house. I hope you enjoy!**

**Don't forget to vote at the end. :-p**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Fourteen**

_Rob_

The only thing Rob kept coming back to was Emily. She was his little girl and she was struggling to deal with everything that life was throwing at her. It wasn't new, it was long running and deep-seated into their existence. He was scared to rock the boat, scared to tell her something that would change everything, especially their relationship. The thing he was most afraid about was her mental stability and whether knowing the truth would only put cracks in the foundation that kept her supported.

"Would it be wrong to ask Katie to leave?" he asked, afraid to look Gina in the eye.

Gina hesitated, instead sat down beside him and rested a hand across his shoulder, "I think this is quite a mess you're in and the longer you leave it the harder it will become."

"Do I welcome Katie back into my life after all these years at the risk of unsettling Emily? Or do I push her away and risk losing Katie forever?"

There was no clear answer and it worried him. The only options and he could see himself losing one of his daughters in each. He didn't want that, he didn't think he could handle that. Even though she hadn't been in his life for all those years, Katie was still his daughter and he loved her just as much as he loved Emily.

"I need to go talk to her again," Rob muttered, standing up and pulling himself away from Gina.

"Is that a good idea?"

He turned around, feeling angrier than he knew he should. It was a miracle for Katie to turn up on his doorstep, nothing short of a miracle. He should have been thankful.

"What else can I do Gina?"

"I don't know."

The bedroom door wasn't open when he reached his room. Gina was still behind him, keeping a close eye on him as he opened the door. He was thankful for her support, thankful that she was worried he was going to do something he would regret. It wasn't just about how she felt, she was thinking him and his children. The thought of her unconditional support made him love her more. Before he checked on Katie he turned around, pulled Gina into his arms and gave her a long, passionate kiss.

Gina pulled away with a silly smirk on her face, "What was that for?"

"You're amazing, you know that? And I love you."

"Well, I love you too. I would have settled for flowers but a kiss is good."

Katie wasn't in the room. He checked again, moved further in until he could move the bed covers around and see that Katie really was not there. His heart skipped a beat and he was reminded of the day he realised he wasn't going to see his other daughter again. The thought of losing her for a second time was too much.

"I can't do this," he whispered, sitting down to save from falling. "I can't do this again."

"Maybe she just went to the bathroom," Gina suggested, sitting down beside him.

Ten minutes later and they were still sat there waiting. Katie wasn't coming back, he could feel it in the pit of his stomach. He'd lost her again.

"Does Jenna know that she's been here?" Gina questioned. "Naomi said she's been worried about her."

Rob frowned, "I don't give a fuck if she's worried."

"Rob, please," Gina sighed. "If this was Emily that had walked out on you, you'd be worried sick. You were worried sick."

As much as he tried to bring himself to feel guilty, to feel sympathetic towards his ex-wife, he just couldn't. Gina was holding his hand, trying to be supportive but she didn't understand.

"I'm not contacting her, if that's what you're asking?!"

"You don't have to," Gina assured him. "I could call her, let her know that Katie was here and that she's alright."

"Here? You're not telling that woman that _my _daughter was here."

Every time he thought of Jenna he got angry. He couldn't help it. After all the years he thought he would be fine bumping into her, meeting her again. He expected it to happen, he expected that he would have to communicate with her sometime. He wasn't sure if he could handle sometime being right now.

Gina smiled at him, barely phased by his frustration, "I'll tell her she was at my place, she doesn't have to know that my place has changed."

Rob nodded, could feel himself growing calmer, "Thank you."

*

_Emily_

Lying beside Naomi felt normal, Emily decided. It certainly didn't feel strange. They didn't talk and though it should have been awkward, it just wasn't. Emily questioned whether it was like having a sister, having someone it felt comfortable to be around without even needing to speak. She couldn't understand it or even describe it but she felt safe. Her eyelids were growing heavy again, the silence and the heat from the radiators made her feel toasty and warm.

"Why do you do it?" Naomi's voice came out small beside her.

Emily woke, felt her eyes grow easier to keep open. "Do what?"

There was a pause and Emily thought Naomi had changed her mind. "The marks on your legs," she finally whispered, cautiously.

"I didn't," she replied, her defences building up quickly as she stuttered a response. "I don't, I,"

"What?" Naomi frowned, turning onto her side to look at Emily properly. "I thought..."

"You thought wrong," Emily snapped, her default bitch setting coming through as she hid behind her safe wall. "I mean, I did but,"

Naomi bit her lip which made her look incredibly sexy. Emily felt her own lip tuck under her teeth.

"Look, Emily I'm not trying to pry, I'm just curious why you'd want to hurt yourself like that."

It didn't sound like prying, not unlike the questions Emily always assumed people would ask if they knew. In fact Naomi sounded sincere, like she just wanted to know because she couldn't understand it and maybe because she actually cared a little.

"I didn't want to," Emily sighed. The ceiling became exceptionally interesting in that moment. A lump formed in her throat. There was so much she wanted to say. "I can't..."

"Okay," Naomi accepted, rolling back onto her back and staring up at the same patch of ceiling as Emily. "But I wouldn't tell anyone if you ever chose to tell me. It's your business."

Silence was the only natural thing to follow. Emily knew that if she started talking she would probably cry and she wasn't quite decided on if she was okay with that. Naomi didn't speak, didn't try to get her to talk, just listened to the silence. Emily had not trusted someone in a long time, not properly. She'd barely noticed that, until she found herself willing to trust Naomi with her whole life.

"I didn't start it."

"I don't understand," Naomi whispered. "Self harm is just that."

"I didn't mean to start doing it but I didn't really, someone else," it was harder than she ever imagined it would be, admitting what happened, letting someone in on a secret she'd kept locked up inside for so long.

"You're not making very much sense, Emily," Naomi replied, again not appearing frustrated or needing to know, just passing along a hint of comforting encouragement to share.

"It's hard." It was too hard.

"Okay," Naomi whispered, leaving it there. Naomi wanted to know but not at Emily's expense, that was obvious.

A number of tears built up in Emily's eyes, threatening to fall. She quickly decided that it was too late to back down that even though crying was the last thing she wanted to do; she had to tell Naomi.

"It's so much bigger than just this."

"You don't have to tell me," Naomi assured her, sliding a hand across the bed until it connected with Emily's. "I don't want you to be upset."

The feel of Naomi's hand holding tightly to her fingers somehow made it easier. Emily still had doubts, still felt like she was going against herself if she told someone what had happened. It overpowered her sometimes, the desire to keep herself hidden. But in that moment as the tears took her over Emily started talking.

"A girl at school. She thought, she, they smoked and then and then they'd put their cigarettes out."

It probably didn't make much sense and for that Emily was sorry. She couldn't speak. Hadn't realised that finally getting out what had happened was going to consume her like that, send her body into a fit of tears. Naomi's voice was barely audible. Emily didn't expect her to speak, let alone guess the words she didn't, _couldn't _bring herself to say.

"On your legs?"

The only thing she could do was nod. Anything else was too difficult. Naomi's fingers held tighter to her hand, squeezing it with such comfort that Emily just let the tears flow. There was more, there was always going to be more. Emily didn't think she could handle getting it all out in one go, but there was one final thing she needed to say, to explain.

"The pain was horrible at first," she whispered, her words muffled by the tears. "Then the pain in my head was actually worse and, and picking at the scabs, forcing it to hurt again just, it just, made it all easier."

*

_Katie_

Jenna was always the one in control. She was the one that made Katie think her father was dead, she was the one that tried to stop her from finding out about not just her dad, but her sister, her _twin _sister too. Katie was sick of other people being in control. She couldn't handle hurting people, breaking up Emily's little family because of something she hoped to gain. It puzzled her why when Emily had always been rather quite horrible to her. But there were things she didn't know about her, things she couldn't even begin to know about. That much was clear.

"Oh Katie, what are you doing here?" JJ opened the door, his confusion turning into a wide smile as he pulled her into his arms.

"I needed somewhere to go," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his back and pushing her face against his chest.

She felt safe in his arms, safe from everything that was happening to her. There was so much still going on in her head, so many things she needed to say that she knew she couldn't. Time would predict her next actions, but for now she was happy to just sit back and hope that her dad would do the right thing.

"Somewhere to go?" JJ questioned once he'd led her inside.

"I," she whispered. "I can't go home right now."

"Is this about your dad?" JJ asked, analysing the situation perfectly.

Katie nodded, "I found out who he is, he's alive. I can't really say much more right now but I confronted my mum."

"Oh, wow," he sighed.

There wasn't anything to say and though JJ tried to provide her with comforting phrases of encouragement, that everything would work out, that she would get through it, she only half believed it. Instead she succumbed to her desire to cry and allowed JJ to hold her. He looked uncomfortable but didn't move, didn't give up his hold around her body because he knew how important it was to make her feel cared for.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" he asked after a while. "Mum's cooking Chicken Teriyaki and she always makes way too much because my dad is usually working when it's dinner time so he probably wouldn't eat any of it anyway, so there's probably going to be some spare that you could have if you really wanted to stay because that would be okay."

Katie let out a small chuckle, "Thanks."

"For what?"

Katie shrugged, "Making me laugh? For creating the worlds longest sentence? For being here mostly."

JJ's hands moved to her face, one cupped her cheek as his other stroke the red skin below her eyes. The tears had dried up but that didn't stop him trying to remove them. His fingers then stroked her lips being replaced quickly by his own which pressed lightly onto hers. She kissed back, allowing it to grow into a passionate embrace. She'd been worried about going to JJ's, worried that it was too soon to demand his support when she needed it the most. Yet the moment he kissed her she knew she was in the right place.

*

_Rob_

It was now or never, he had to do it. Rob wasn't the kind of person to jump in and act, unless someone was hurt, he'd got into a fair few punch ups that way. For everything else he thought things through, usually to the point of deciding against it. He had to tell Emily that she had a twin sister, that her mother was living in the same city and that her whole life he had avoiding telling her the truth about them.

"Emily?" he called out, knocking gently on her door.

There was no response. He pushed open the door, deciding that it was important enough to not wait for Emily to let him enter the room.

"I need to talk to you love," he muttered, stopping at the end of the bed.

A smile forced its way onto his lips. Emily was asleep. He watched her for a moment, to make sure she was actually sleeping and not just dozing. Naomi was lay beside her looking as peaceful as the two girls slept. The two of them had always seemed to have a problematic relationship, which worried him. If there was ever going to be any longevity in his relationship with Gina, their daughters getting along was important. It was a relief to see them together and he hoped that it would be a sign of things to come.

"Night girls," he whispered, turning off the television that was still on before leaving them alone.

*

_Naomi_

The moment Naomi woke up she felt like she'd been so deeply asleep that her whole body was entirely rested. She realised that for the first time since the fire she'd slept through the night and couldn't remember dreaming a thing. A huge smile slid across her lips as she rolled over, stretching and yawning until her eyes caught the red head asleep beside her.

"Oh," she sighed.

It caught her by surprise, an overwhelming emotion that she couldn't explain and didn't know how to understand. It was strong, too strong and in that second she expected the world to stop. Then Emily moved, rolled over until she was facing Naomi and her eyes were opening, forcing her to not look away. Naomi let out her breath that she didn't even realise she'd been holding.

"Morning," Emily smiled, waking up beside Naomi like it was the most normal thing in the world.

It felt normal to Naomi too, words dissolving in her throat before she could speak them. Emily's hair looked like it had been messed up with hands and a balloon. It made Naomi laugh, forcing a small smile that made Emily's grow bigger.

"Thank you," she whispered, smoothing down the mess of hair covering her face.

"What for?" Naomi muttered, clearing her throat, finally finding her voice.

"For not judging me, for letting me tell you something that I've never told anyone."

Naomi's brow furrowed, "Nobody else knows?"

"My dad knows about the, well, that I," she paused. "He doesn't know what happened with the cigarettes."

"Oh."

It shocked Naomi that Emily had told her something so big, something she hadn't told anyone. It made her feel warm inside, which made her feel guilty because the whole thing wasn't supposed to make her feel good about herself. Despite feeling that way, she still felt honoured to be told something that even Rob didn't know.

"I don't understand it," Emily mumbled.

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "What don't you understand?"

"I feel like it's really easy to talk to you, I've never felt comfortable with a lot of girls. I guess I've just always struggled with it. I had a couple of best friends but they weren't the kind of people I could tell, well, this, to."

A long, deep breath filled the void where Naomi knew she had to speak. Emily's words were important to her, she realised. They made her ears prick up and pay attention until she stopped talking. Secondary to the information, Naomi recognised that above all else she liked to hear Emily talk. There was a rasp in her voice that had always been there, but was currently being made worse by the effects of the fire.

"Oh right," Naomi sighed, biting her lip.

Emily looked sincere, "It's not like that with you, not anymore."

"I guess that's good."

The whole situation was making Naomi quite uncomfortable, she wasn't even sure why. The thought of Emily investing so much thought into telling Naomi her inner secrets was making her feel a little uneasy.

"Yeah, it's really good."

Emily, on the other hand, looked over the moon. She looked happier than Naomi had seen her in the few weeks that she'd known her.

"I'm confused," she admitted, biting a little too hard on her lip until she could feel a mark forming.

Emily narrowed her eyes, "What about?"

"This friendship we seem to have, one minute we're arguing the next it's like you're sharing really big things with me."

"That's not a problem, is it?"

There was a hint of worry, of disappointment in Emily's eyes that made Naomi want to reach out and touch her. Instead she resisted the temptation and shook her head.

"No, no, it's not like that."

Emily's eyes narrowed again, a look of confusion passing between them, "Have you had many close friends?"

"Err, not really," Naomi admitted, looking away, ashamed of her loner lifestyle. "Except when I was eleven but she moved away."

"Maybe you're just not used to having someone who you feel close to," Emily muttered, her cheeks turning red as she spoke. "Assuming you feel close to me."

Emily was being incredibly sweet and caring, slightly self conscious and rather quite unusual. They still hadn't known each other for very long but it was the first time Naomi had actually had a two way conversation that wasn't filled with snide comments and retorts. It made Naomi smile.

"I do, I, I really do," she nodded, allowing Emily that little bit closer into her life. "You're probably right."

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

_EMILY: How does Emily find out?_

A) Rob decides he can't put it off and finally tells her?

B) Jenna turns up, Emily answers the door and recognises her from the hospital.

_KATIE: JJ and Katie go to a party. Does she;_

A) Have an argument with JJ and leave early?

B) Get drunk and allow Cook to take advantage of her vulnerability?

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you all for the reviews/votes. So JJ/Katie go to a party and have an argument and well as to who tells Emily, it was neck and neck so whilst Rob won I did take into account all votes. Thanks again and ENJOY this chapter. I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get another chapter up - it's a mixture of me being lazy and I also had to go to my graduation ceremony, yay!**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Fifteen**

_Naomi_

There was a time when Naomi thought her house was the only place she could feel at home. Yet in the few weeks since the start of college, it surprised her how comfortable she now felt at Rob and Emily's. It used to be strange sitting in their living room, eating their food. Now it seemed strange to be standing in the kitchen she had spent the last ten years in. She'd lived there long enough that she couldn't even remember the house she used to live in before that, assumed it was rented and nowhere near as nice. She didn't have many memories of her younger years but what she did remember was always being in pre-school, her mum always being late to pick her up and over the summer never leaving the house except to go to the park with the babysitter. She didn't realise it then, but her mum was working all hours hoping to save up enough money for the deposit on the house.

"Home sweet home," she whispered, sitting down at the table, hoping to make the most of what little time she had left there.

It was still home, even if it didn't feel the same anymore. She knew that. She also knew that she had just four hours until her mum was due home to pick her and a couple of boxes of her things up.

"Twelve fifty-two," she sighed, reading the time off her watch and remembering where she had been just a couple of hours before.

Emily's bed. She tried to pretend it was normal, that it felt like a place she was supposed to be. In many ways it did. Feeling Emily's sleeping body beside her made her happy, allowed her to sleep in a way she hadn't since the fire. She should have been at college, she should have been sat in her Politics class. But college wasn't open. She was thankful to them for closing it for a few days to give everyone time to get through what happened, half of the college was involved after all. Naomi knew she wouldn't have been able to concentrate even if she had gone, she doubted anyone would. She still hadn't spoken to anyone from college, still wasn't sure who hadn't made it and how well she knew them.

_Emily_.

She couldn't help her relief. If she was honest there were only a handful of people she cared were okay. She didn't like the idea of anyone not being. But if she had to choose to save people Emily would have been at the top of her list with Katie.

_Katie_.

She wasn't at home, Naomi had no idea where she was and she hated herself for it. She was supposed to be her best friend. She didn't feel like a very good one. She had no idea how Katie would react to her new friendship with Emily. She didn't even know how Emily felt about it. The thought of her best friends not getting along was heartbreaking.

_Her best friends._

She didn't see them that way. Katie was her best friend. Katie was her only best friend. Emily was, she didn't know what she was. She didn't know what she wanted her to be.

_Girlfriend._

The word travelled into her brain and back out again quicker than she could even think it.

_No._

She didn't think that way. She wasn't gay. She didn't like girls. She didn't like Emily, not like that anyway. Yet it was there, it had made itself at home on the soft cushions in her brain and was not willing to give up the warmth. The suggestion that she wanted Emily as a girlfriend; it scared her to even contemplate. She tried to tell herself it was wrong. She argued back constantly until she was tired. She'd been sat there in silence for twenty minutes and she felt like she'd run a ten mile route. She had to stop thinking. She knew that it would only make her feel worse if she thought too much. Instead she turned on the stereo, changed the radio station over until she heard a song she liked and let the music take over the silence.

"Open this door," a voice called out, scaring Naomi out of her trance, out of her focused attention on the music. She jumped, rushed towards the door as the banging began. She opened it and was more than surprised to see Katie's mum stood on the other side.

"Where is my daughter?"

"What?" Naomi questioned, taken aback by Jenna's aggressiveness. "She's not here."

"Don't you lie to me young lady. I know she was here. Your mother called me and told me she'd been at your house. Now you tell me the truth, tell me where she is. I know you know Naomi."

It was surprisingly scary how angry Jenna was. Naomi had only seen Katie's mum on a couple of occasions and never had she acted like she was acting now.

"I don't. I promise you I have no idea. Neither does my mum."

"She called me Naomi." Jenna snarled. "She told me that my Katie was here."

Naomi frowned, "We haven't even been home since the last time I called you. I told you then that Katie hadn't answered my calls. I tried to contact her but I have no idea where she is."

"Your mother knows. You know she does."

"I'm sorry Mrs Ashford, but I have no idea what you're talking about. My mum hasn't been home either. We don't even live here properly anymore."

"Oh."

The woman looked visibly shocked, her eyes grew wide with a realisation. Naomi just rolled her eyes and leant against the door, she didn't really have time to play nice with her.

"I'm sorry that Katie hasn't come home and if I hear from her I will let you know. Right now I have things I have to sort out before I go back to college tomorrow. So can you please leave?"

When Jenna had gone and Naomi was left alone, confused by the conversation she noted the irony of the song playing on the radio and cursed her brain for quickly returning to it's original thoughts.

_'I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick. I kissed a girl just to try it,'_

Naomi shut it off. Couldn't bare the thought of listening to the song when all she was feeling was confusion. Confused that Jenna Ashford seemed to think that Naomi had any idea where her daughter was. Confused that Emily was still at the forefront of her mind. Confused that everything in her life was in some jumbled mess. She didn't even think her thoughts were making very much sense any more. If someone could hear them they'd be just as confused as she was.

*

_Katie_

Sitting in JJ's bedroom was strange. Katie had never seen it before, had not seen a boys bedroom since primary school. She half expected to see a more adult looking room, was surprised to find it looked quite childlike. A number of models scattered the room, models of boats and cars that Katie always thought people stopped doing when they reached their teenage years.

"I said we'd see you there Cook, no, I mean Katie, just, we'll see you later."

Katie waited expectantly as JJ hung up his phone and threw it across the bed. She listened to him explain about a party that Cook was having that afternoon, a party that was supposed to go on all night.

"It's a pre-return to college party."

Katie let out a small laugh, "What excuse will he come up with next? A party to celebrate the lives of everyone we know that didn't make it?"

It was supposed to be a joke but it fell flat on the floor. Katie regretted it instantly and hoped JJ would do something, anything to fill the silence.

Thankfully he started talking, "He thinks it's a worthy cause. I think we should go."

"I guess it wouldn't hurt, would be nice to get out and see everyone, who's coming?"

"Cook said that Naomi and Emily can't come and that Effy is still resting at home, but Freddie's going to be there and so is Pandora."

The company wasn't the most thrilling, she'd hoped Naomi would have been able to make it and was disappointed that she couldn't. Instead she brushed it aside and got ready before they made their way to the party. By the time they arrived it looked like everyone was pretty much wasted. Katie couldn't get used to the style of parties that everyone else seemed accustomed to, she didn't understand why everyone wanted to get stoned and drunk.

"Alright you two," Cook greeted with a huge grin on his face, he wrapped his arms around their shoulders and led them into the house.

"Can he be any more of a letch?" Katie asked, rolling her eyes once Cook had disappeared into the crowd.

"He's alright once you get to know him," JJ muttered.

"I don't think Cook knows how to get along with anyone."

JJ frowned, "You don't know Cook like I do. He's been a good friend to me."

Katie bit her lip. She didn't intend to offend JJ but she couldn't understand why he hung out with Cook. They were obviously very different people. Cook was loud and intimidating, JJ was shy and welcoming.

"He walks all over you Jonah!" she noted, regretting it the moment JJ's eyes narrowed and his mouth pressed together.

"You don't know him, you haven't seen how nice he can be."

"Nice? He doesn't have a nice bone in his body. He's so fake," Katie tried, despite knowing she was fighting a losing battle.

"Cook is my best friend."

"Maybe you should get yourself new friends," she snapped.

"Why are you being like this? I thought you were nice, Katie."

"You, I," she could feel herself on the verge of tears. It was her own fault, she'd said things she knew she shouldn't. She bit her lip and ran from the house, couldn't stand the thought of crying in front of JJ when all she wanted to do was hug him.

There was no excuse for the way she acted, she knew that. Yet she couldn't stop feeling like she was the one who was being hard done to. Her mind quickly turned to her dad, to what he'd said about Emily. He was supposed to care about her, the way he hugged her suggested he wanted her in his life. Yet he seemed to change his mind pretty quickly. The second the cold air hit her warm skin she could taste tears landing on her lips. She didn't want to cry, but everything was getting on top of her.

*

_Naomi_

The packing seemed to take longer than Naomi anticipated. They'd decided to have a gradual move instead of doing it all at once, but Naomi just couldn't focus. She didn't know what she wanted to take or how important any of the things in the boxes were. She put in the obvious, but after that, she was clueless. There were too many things she would have taken had she had a moving van, but she didn't. In the end she just threw in anything she could find and decided to leave it at that. She tried to stop thinking but Emily was still floating around in her head and Katie was in there too. Naomi hadn't even realised how worried she was about her friend until she got to her bedroom and started to look through her belongings.

"Naomi love, I'm back," Gina called out from the stairs, before appearing in the doorway.

Naomi stood, her worries for Katie spilling out. "What is going on?"

"I know that you may think I'm a psychic Naomi, but unless you explain further I have no idea what you're talking about."

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Katie's mum came around, she seems to think that Katie was here and that you told her that."

Gina looked guilty, which was the first sign that Jenna was telling the truth. It hadn't even crossed Naomi's mind that Jenna was right. She stopped what she was doing, crossed her arms and stared at her mother awaiting answers.

"Well, about that, I did call Jenna."

"And?" Naomi pushed.

"Katie turned up at Rob's house, he didn't want me to tell Jenna that she went there so I told her that she came to our house."

"You lied to her?" Naomi gasped, before remembering a brief but stranger conversation she'd had with Katie.

"It wasn't really a lie, it is our house now too."

Naomi bit her lip, couldn't stop her eyes rolling backwards, "Oh very sneaky, why would you do that?"

Parents often told you off for lying, even when it was a white lie or you omitted the truth. The thought of Gina justifying her actions with her excuse made Naomi want to laugh.

"Why would Katie want to come to Emily's? They hate each other," she asked, vocalising a query she'd had earlier but never got the chance to ask Katie herself about.

Gina raised her eyebrow, "They do?"

"Hates a pretty strong word, but they really don't get along. Katie called me earlier asking where Emily's house was, why would she want to know?"

"We don't have time for that now," Gina muttered, picking up a box. "We have to get back, I promised Rob I'd pick up a frozen pizza on the way."

"But mum," Naomi tried.

It was too late, Gina was already halfway out of the door with the box in her hands. Naomi rolled her eyes and followed her mother out of her room, no more clued up than she had been earlier.

*

_Emily/Rob_

After sleeping almost continually since arriving home from hospital, Emily was beginning to feel better. She was sick of the sight of her bedroom and once Naomi left to go back to her house, she found the place feeling pretty lonely. In the end she took up residence on the sofa.

"Emily, do you mind if I come in?" Rob announced, knocking on the door and carrying a tray into the room.

"'Course not," she smiled, moving across on the sofa to make space for her dad.

"I wanted to come talk to you about something."

"If this is about counselling, I will go, I promise," she smiled, taking a biscuit off the tray.

Rob smiled, "It's not about that love, but I have made an appointment for a week on Tuesday. Give you some more time to recover."

There was a look in Rob's eyes that Emily had never seen before. She couldn't quite place it, except that it looked like he was feeling guilty. He was nervous, he could feel his nerves getting the better of him when he rubbed his hands together and felt the sweat. When Katie turned up on the doorstep she'd already known, the only surprise was seeing her. With Emily it was all different, she had no idea.

"Emily, I love you so much," he whispered, pulling her hand into his.

Emily frowned, but gave off a half-laugh. "You're not going to tell me you're dying or something are you?"

"I'm fine, but there is something I need to tell you that," he paused, couldn't quite speak. "Please don't hate me."

"I couldn't hate you," Emily smiled, putting her free hand over her dad's.

A silence filled the tense atmosphere. Emily wasn't sure what was going on but it sounded serious. She worried, more than she thought she should, but she couldn't help it. Rob took a deep breath, had to remove his hands because of how sweaty they became. He wiped his forehead and wondered why he never sweated that much when he was working out.

"Here it goes," he muttered.

Emily bit her lip, "Just tell me."

"Your mother is living in Bristol."

The information didn't shock Emily, it didn't make her happy, it didn't make her sad. She didn't know how she felt about it. She suspected she should feel more about the idea of her mother, the woman she didn't even know, living in the same town. She suspected her dad expected her to feel more.

"I don't understand," she whispered. "Why does that matter? Does she want to see me?"

Rob sighed, taking a moment to compose himself. He didn't expect Emily to take the news quite so well.

"No, I'm not sure if she even realises we're here, properly. I saw her the other day at the hospital."

"Why was she at the hospital?" Emily muttered. "Is she okay?"

She wasn't even sure she cared if her mum was okay. She had never tried to contact her, she had never shown an interest in her life so what did it matter if she wasn't?

"I assume she's fine. But there's more Emily, something that I haven't told you that might," he paused. "I don't know what you'll think of me when you find out what I haven't told you."

"What is it?"

"You have a sister, a twin sister."

Emily could feel her heart begin to beat faster, her chest contracting. Rob wasn't finished, she could see his mouth moving but could barely understand what he was saying.

"Naomi's friend Katie, she, she's your," Rob stopped, needed to look into Emily's eyes, needed to know how she was reacting.

Emily shook her head, "I don't understand."

"Katie has been living with your mum whilst you were living with me."

"But," the words were stuck in her throat, trying to process what she'd been told was hard, but trying to vocalise a reaction was even harder. "But why?"

"There's a lot that I need to tell you. But not right now. I don't want to tell you too much all at once, I don't want to bombard you with information because I don't want you to feel like you can't handle it."

Breathing became harder, Emily's heart beating even faster than before, it was all too much. She silently thanked Rob for not telling her any more, for sticking to the bare minimum. He was looking at her, staring into her eyes. She looked back but had to look away, the thought of seeing his reaction was too much. She couldn't speak, just rested her head in her hands, her energy level dwindling in seconds.

*

_Katie_

"Katie?" JJ's voice filled the quiet Bristol street. It made Katie jump, hadn't expected anyone else to be around when they were all inside.

A number of tears still rolling down her face were quickly swept away as Katie turned to face him. She bit her lip and stared at the floor, at his shoes, which she thought were rather battered. She made a note to herself to persuade him to buy a new pair of shoes if they got through the stupid fight.

"What's going on?" he questioned, resting a hand on the small of her back, which made her body react.

A shrug of her shoulders and the tears that didn't want to stay inside her eyes led to JJ wrapping his arm further around her waist and pulling her close, pulling her into his arms until he could hold her properly.

"You can tell me."

"I can't," she whispered, sobbing. "Please can we go back to yours?"

JJ didn't ask questions, in fact he didn't push the subject any further, instead he took her home. To his home. Katie was thankful that JJ's mother wasn't in, didn't really fancy having to explain why she was staying there for another night. The woman seemed perfectly pleasant, but Katie got the impression she was fiercely protective of her son.

"You can sleep in my bed, I'll sleep on the floor again," JJ offered when Katie sat down.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean what I said."

"It's okay," he assured her, sitting down beside her and holding her hand.

"It's not. I was horrible to you, to Cook. I've just got some things going on at the moment and I don't need anything else on top of that, I don't know why I did it."

"Please tell me Katie," JJ sighed. "I won't tell anyone, just between you and me."

The thought of getting it off her chest made Katie feel better, "Do you promise?"

JJ nodded, "Of course."

Trying to find the right words was the hardest thing to do. Katie thought for a minute about what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it, until she decided on the simple approach. JJ was taking off his jacket, she waited until he'd finished before she told him.

"Oh my, oh my, bobbins," JJ stuttered, looking flustered. "When did you find out?"

"Yesterday. I went to his house but then I had to leave, I couldn't stay there even though I wanted nothing more."

"I see now why you couldn't tell me if Emily doesn't know, that's quite a dilemma."

Looking into JJ's eyes made Katie smile. He was so lovely, so wonderful to her even when she'd been horrible back. She knew she was lucky to have him and she didn't regret going to him for help. She allowed him to wrap his arms around her again, pushed her face against his shoulder until she felt comfortable.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Any time," he replied.

For the first time in her whole life she felt like there was such a thing as love, as caring about someone so much you couldn't see your life without them. As she pulled away she leant up to kiss JJ, to rest her lips carefully against his until he responded and they were kissing. She shifted about until she let herself lie down, felt JJ's weight on top of her as they continued to kiss. She felt comfortable, at home in his arms, she wondered if it was possible to feel more safe with any one person. She pulled away slightly, rearranging herself on the bed until her head was on the pillow and JJ was staring into her eyes.

"I should probably get the duvet from the cupboard," he muttered. "Then you can have the bed to yourself."

"Don't go."

He furrowed his brow, looking into her eyes with confusion as she kissed him again. She rolled him over until she was lay on top of him, her tongue playing with his whilst her fingers ran under his shirt. She liked the feel of his chest under her skin, so much so that she started to unbutton his shirt. She could feel his growing excitement, which made her smile, made her feel excited at the thought of making him happy.

"What are we…?" JJ muttered, pulling away briefly, long enough to speak as Katie pushed her lips back against his.

"I want to," she whispered into his ear, kissing the side of his face, his neck, his shoulder as she pushed away the material of his shirt.

"Oh bobbins." he muttered. "Are you sure?"

Katie nodded, realised she hadn't been more sure in her life as she moved back in, "Do you have any condoms?"

JJ blushed, "Cook makes me keep a load in my drawer, says it's for emergencies."

Katie laughed, "I guess Cook isn't such a bad guy after all."

Katie wrapped her arms around JJ's shoulders, continued to kiss him as he reached out to the drawer in search of a packet. A handful landed on the side of the bed and Katie slid her hands across JJ's bare chest, planting kisses along his skin. JJ's hands travelling around her back, playing with her bra once she'd removed the top she'd been wearing. A breath caught in her throat as JJ released her bra strap and exposed her naked body to him. She bit her lip, nerves running through her mixing with excitement.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, kissing along her collar bone, pushing gentle kisses down between her breasts.

Katie's breath came out faltered, struggling to breath as JJ removed his trousers, "I love you."

The words weren't meant to come out, she'd only thought them. Didn't realise she'd even said them until JJ pulled away, his eyes narrowing slightly She bit her lip, regretted saying exactly what she felt until his lips curled at the edges.

"I, I, I, mother flipping, I, I love you too," he whispered, kissing her again.

They removed the remainder of their clothes. Katie could feel their bodies touching, their skin collided as they kissed passionately, sharing themselves with each other. She'd never felt it before, never understand what it meant to be in love until she felt JJ's fingers travelling along her spine as he pushed himself into her. It hurt at first, she'd expected it to, had read all about it in books and magazines but as they got up a rhythm all she could do was smile. Her lips still passing kisses across his skin until they reached the height of their passion and collapsed against each other where they continued to lie until they fell asleep.

*

_Emily_

Allowing everything to sink in made it a little bit easier to handle. Emily's heart rate returned to normal and her vocal cords seemed to return to working order. Only there was so much more to think about than just what she'd just been told.

"Emily?" Rob questioned, looking anything but relieved to have told her.

Twin sister. She had a twin sister she knew nothing about. Not just anybody, but Katie. Katie Ashford, the girl she didn't get along with. It was strange, so very strange.

"I," she began to speak, but suddenly realised she had nothing to say. What was there to say?

"I need to know that you're okay," Rob tried.

"I'm okay," she whispered, daring to look into his eyes again, losing herself in his sad orbs.

She'd seen him cry, she'd watched him sob beside her and seen his pain at her problems. They'd shared so much in the years they'd spent, father and daughter, together against the world. They were two halves of the same whole because they were all each other had. All of that changed when Naomi and Gina came into their lives, Emily thought it all changed then, but she realised it had always been different she just didn't realise it. She didn't know.

"Emily," he tried, but stopped talking, just stared at her with down turned eyes.

There was hope hovering on the surface, a look of hope and expectations. There were too many things to process that Emily didn't know how she felt. Yet Rob looked like he wanted to know, looked like he _needed _to know how she felt. In the end she let her lips curl slightly at the edges.

"I love you," she sighed, watching his expectant eyes grow in excitement as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, wrapping himself around her until she relaxed into his embrace.

If she was honest, she could see herself getting angry, could sense a boiling pit of frustration and questions lingering on the edge. In the meantime she was happy to have him hold her, happy to let him think that everything was okay because it was what he needed. She knew he'd be worrying, that he'd probably spent the last few days thinking about her reaction, probably the last however many years. The front door opening made them pull apart, made Rob stand up quickly and mutter something about boxes before he disappeared into the hallway.

*

_Naomi_

Rob looked worried which made Naomi suspect something was going on. She hovered in the doorway with her box, dropped it on the floor and watched an exchange between Gina and Rob. He looked heartbroken and within seconds Gina had her arms wrapped around him. Naomi took a deep breath before walking through the house and into the lounge.

"Oh, you're up?" she whispered, noticing Emily tucked up in her duvet on the sofa. Her face turned up to face her, her expression similar to Rob's. "What's going on?"

The drive from the house to the Fitch's made Naomi contemplate everything all over again. She wanted to push Katie out of her thoughts because everything was too jumbled up, the only problem with that was that Emily returned to the forefront and she was left wondering what exactly she would do next. She'd silently decided that there was only one way to deal with everything in her head and that was to do what Emily had done the day before and share her feelings. If they were going to have any sort of a friendship, they would have to be honest. Emily had told her so much, had shared such a huge part of her with Naomi that she knew it was only fair she do the same.

"Katie's my twin sister," Emily whispered, so painfully quiet that Naomi barely hear her.

The look on Emily's face pushed all previous thoughts out of her mind. She watched Emily, her teeth clenched, her eyes glazing over with tears. All Naomi could think about was Emily and what she'd told her, what she said she did when she couldn't handle something going on in her life. She couldn't see her hands.

"She's what?" she asked, sitting down beside Emily, pulling the duvet away from Emily's lap to reveal her fingers clenching her thighs.

She wasn't doing it, she wasn't hurting herself. But by the way her fingernails dug into the material of her pyjamas she could see that it was only a matter of time. Naomi reached out and pulled Emily's hands away, felt her body react as her fingers brushed the upper part of Emily's thighs.

"Don't do this, you don't want to do this."

Emily's eyes boiled over, the tears set off on their individual journeys down her cheeks until a second set of tears raced the first and they joined near her mouth. Naomi's hands were still holding Emily's wrists. She let go and slid herself closer so that her arm could slide around Emily's shoulder.

"I don't understand what's going on," she whispered, watching Emily sit in silence, her tears speaking louder than her lack of words.

Emily licked her lips, pulled the tears from where they'd landed. "Katie is my twin sister."

"Katie, as in Ashford Katie? My friend?"

The red hair moved, Emily's head nodding abruptly as she turned to look into Naomi's eyes. Naomi let a small smile slide across her face, hoping to provide comfort for Emily. She pulled her in closer as Emily turned into her, let her wrap her other arm around her back. Naomi took a deep breath, breathing in the smell of Emily's hair as she felt the girl relax into her arms.

"I take it you didn't know?"

"No."

The moment, a moment that Naomi wished she could have classed as something more than being a friend, ended quickly. The sound of something dropping outside made them jump. The sound of something breaking. Naomi stood up, Emily following close behind as they made their way to the front door. Naomi watched in horror as she saw her laptop on the floor, broken and smashed. She looked to Rob, who was stood above it, not even recognising what he'd just done as he stared across the front garden at Jenna Ashford.

*

_Jenna/Rob_

The last thing Rob expected to see when he went to get a box out of the car, was Jenna. The first time he saw her at the hospital it had all happened too quickly that he couldn't process everything he'd been feeling. But stood there, with her barely a few yards from his own front door made his blood boil. He felt his heart beat faster and faster as she started to move, walked up the driveway until she stopped in front of him.

"I want my daughter back, I know you have her here, I want my Katie."

Her voice was exactly as he remembered it; her Scottish accent only fuelling the rage building inside of his chest. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out. She stared at his eyes, could see the hate and anger inside them and it hurt, it really hurt to know that he hated her that much. She had rehearsed what she would say if she ever saw him again a thousand times. Yet the second she stopped in front of him all she could do was beg for her daughter. She could feel herself shaking, but she couldn't control her knees.

"Funny that, I was going to say your daughter is inside. _My _daughter, my Emily."

"This is no time for jokes Robert, where is Katie?"

Anger was the last emotion she wanted to feel. Apologetic maybe, sympathetic, thankful to see him again? Yet she couldn't stop her tongue, her razor sharp words that she'd used since the incident. She swallowed, the pain excruciating as she tried to stop tears from falling.

"I know," Jenna whispered, noticing her little girl stood in the doorway beside Naomi. "She's beautiful Rob."

His words came out just as harsh as hers, "How would you know?"

"She came to the hospital."

Everyone turned to Emily. Rob's eyes grew wide as he realised his daughter was stood there with Naomi and Gina, he bit his lip to stop himself from screaming, to stop himself from saying something he knew he would regret.

"You what?" he asked, staring into Jenna's eyes.

Jenna could feel the tears begin to fall down her cheeks, "I had to. When I saw you there, I had to see her."

It was too much. There was no way he could control himself any longer. He stepped forwards, his hands reaching for her jacket, clutching the front of it tightly as he stared into her eyes, pulling her up slightly until she was stood on her tiptoes. She looked scared, petrified as his eyebrows narrowed.

"I _needed _to see her," she tried again, her voice broken and pained. She wasn't scared of him, not really. But she hadn't seen him in so long that she suspected everything probably felt even worse, like it did to her.

"You _needed _to see her then. Now, now you _don't _see her, you don't come _anywhere near _my daughter."

Two pairs of hands wrapped around his arms, pulled him away. Rob turned to see Gina and Naomi, clutching him, stopping him from doing something he knew he would regret. It scared him how far he could have gone if they'd left him alone, was thankful that they stopped him. His anger was still so strong, he couldn't control it, he couldn't breath properly as he stared at Jenna, watched her with a familiarity that he wished he didn't have.

"You leave, you leave right now."

"But Katie," Jenna tried again. She wasn't willing to give up. She needed to see her little girl, she needed her back. The thought of losing her was too much to bare, she couldn't lose her, she couldn't lose another child.

"She's not here, she left earlier," Gina informed her, the words barely slicing through the tension that was still there.

"If I ever see my daughter again," Rob grunted, through gritted teeth. "I will tell her everything, do you understand? She deserves to know just what kind of mother you are."

Jenna's eyes exploded, the tears hovering on the surface fell down her face, creating instant red paths as more and more followed. She watched Gina and Naomi pull Rob away, waited until they were all inside. Stared into Emily's eyes until she too followed the rest of them and the door closed. She felt like someone had stabbed her in the heart, even though she wasn't bleeding. She let out a number of gasps, struggling to breath as the sobs came out thick and fast until she returned to her car and she clutched the steering wheel until her face fell against the middle and her body shook uncontrollably.

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

E1) Emily's reaction becomes more volatile.

E2) Emily struggles to communicate with Rob.

K1) Katie gets a call from Naomi and decides to return to the Fitch house.

K2) Katie has a run in with her mum when trying to get some of her things.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you everyone for votes and reviews.**

**If you have not seen the pictures of Kat's new hair from the Alvin and the Chipmunks premiere, please look. They're amazing. They also allowed the very last part of this chapter to happen the way it did, so please read and enjoy and look at the pictures and enjoy.**

**Katie heads back to the Fitchs and Emily struggles to communicate with Rob, enjoy!**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Emily_

There was shouting, so much shouting from Gina that distracted Emily from staring out the window beside the door. She wasn't sure why because the woman who had been stood outside, wasn't anyone of significance, or at least she didn't feel that way. She was of course the woman who gave birth to her, but that piece of information was neither here nor there. Emily pulled herself away, followed everyone into the kitchen because she didn't really know what else to do with herself. Rob sat himself down, his fists clenched in a way that they usually did when he was angry.

"What in the world did you think you were doing Rob?" Gina snapped.

"That woman is not welcome here," he defended.

"You nearly hit her, do you know what sort of a man you looked like? And to think I said I wanted to move in here, with you. Do you know me at all?"

He looked regretful, his eyes swelling with tears that didn't fall, "I'm sorry."

"Do you think I want to be with a man who will so easily get angry enough to want to hit a woman? Do you?"

Gina was raging and rightly so. Emily didn't agree with her dad's actions, couldn't understand why he would get so mad. She didn't understand anything though. Until less than an hour earlier she hadn't even realised that her parents hadn't just separated, but they had separated their children too. She was a twin. She was one half of a whole that she didn't even know existed. A million questions danced through her brain; why they separated? Why they separated her and Katie? Why Rob got so mad when he saw that woman? What was her mother's name?

"I made a mistake," Rob whispered, his voice cautious and barely a whisper. "I would never hurt you, Jenna just makes me so mad."

"Why? Why can one woman make you so angry?" Gina shouted. "How do I know you wouldn't get that way with me?"

Emily knew he'd never hurt her, knew that her dad didn't get that mad with anyone, ever. She'd never seem him so worked up, never witnessed him be so angry in front of anyone. Even men. Sometimes he had a temper and he could get angry like the best of people, but never that much. Emily wanted to defend him, but when she opened her mouth her voice wouldn't work.

"I wouldn't hurt you Gina, please know that."

Gina sighed, took a deep breath before sitting down opposite him. "You scared me."

"I know. I'm sorry," Rob muttered, turning to face Emily. "Emily, I, your mum, I."

The look in his eyes, the painful regret and guilt that seemed to radiate from his hazel orbs didn't make Emily feel any better. It only made her feel worse. It suddenly hit her how much he'd kept from her, that he'd lied about a large part of their life. He was supposed to be her father, he was supposed to love her and protect her and tell her the truth.

"Emily, please sit down," he tried again, his eyes still watery.

She couldn't move. Part of her wanted to sit, wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and tell him how much she loved and needed him. She still loved him, even if he did lie to her. She just couldn't bare the thought of looking at him. Emily bit her lip and stared at the floor, stared at a patch on the tiles that was broken and chipped. It was all she could do to stop herself from feeling worse, to stop herself from saying something she knew she would regret it she let herself go. She could feel Rob's eyes on her, could sense his sorrow at her reaction, she just couldn't give in.

"I'll be in the garage if anyone needs me," he mumbled, his chair grinding across the floor as he stood up and disappeared through the door to the garage.

A silence loomed over the room. Emily hadn't even realised Naomi was still stood there behind her, watching the scene pan out until she muttered something about a phone call and left. Emily waited until she'd gone before she fell into her father's vacated seat and pushed her face into her hands.

"It's going to work out love," Gina muttered, resting a hand on Emily's wrist.

She knew it was true, knew that in the end everything would probably go back to normal, a new kind of normal. Yet she still couldn't stop the overwhelming feeling inside of her. A number of tears slid down her cheeks, which she quickly brushed away.

"I don't even know why I'm crying," she justified.

"A lot has happened," Gina assured her.

Emily looked up to the garage door, "He's probably punching something in there."

"Better there than out here," Gina smiled.

Even though Gina was still looking at her, Emily turned away, looked around the kitchen to occupy herself. She didn't know Gina all that well, had never really taken the time to have a conversation alone with her. It was awkward. It reminded Emily of her mother, the woman who had been stood outside. _Jenna. _She'd barely thought about her in years, only really thought it'd be nice to have a woman around when she started her period and the first time she found herself interested in boys and then girls.

"How are you?"

The question came as a surprise. It pulled Emily from her thoughts, forced her to turn back to face Gina. To stare into her sparkling blue eyes and be comforted by her soft smile. She was nice really, Emily knew that, even if she didn't remember it all the time.

"I'm feeling a little tired," she whispered, knowing the question was directed more to what had happened than how she was feeling physically. "I think I should probably go back to my room."

Gina just nodded, didn't push the conversation further which made Emily like her more.

*

_Naomi_

When Naomi had seen Jenna earlier in the day she thought she looked quite upset, she even felt guilty for not knowing where Katie was. As her friend she should have known, she should have been the one Katie went to. After the showdown between Jenna and Rob she finally realised why she didn't. She was too close to everything, too close to the family she only just realised she had. She felt compelled to try harder to find her, to get into contact with her even if she didn't want to contact her back. She was still her friend and for that she owed her.

"Oh Katie, pick up your phone," she spoke as Katie's voicemail message ended. "I'm at Emily's, at your dad's."

She figured the only way she could ever get Katie's attention was to tell her the truth, to tell her that she knew. She explained about Jenna and how angry it made Rob.

"Emily knows by the way. I'm not sure how she feels about it, but if you really do have nowhere to go like I think you don't, then please come here. They're your family Katie, I know that Rob wants you here."

The kitchen was quieter than Naomi was expecting when she entered it. She could hear frustrated grunts coming from the garage, could see the pained look on her mother face as she stared into thin air.

"He wouldn't hurt you," Naomi tried, hoping her mum would believe her. "I know he got mad but we don't know what history he has with that woman. There must be something making him that way."

"I will not be with a woman beater, Naomi," Gina assured her, adamantly; she focused on her daughter.

"He's not a woman beater, do you really think he's like that?"

Gina shook her head, "When I worked at that woman's refuge I saw people coming in every day with bruises the size of your hand. Every single one of them told me that in the beginning they didn't think the person who did it to them was capable."

"They're not Rob though," Naomi tried, sure that it was just the shock talking.

"You said it yourself love, we don't know their history. How do we know that he hasn't hurt Jenna in the past? What is to say that he didn't abuse her and that's why it ended up like it did?"

"Come on mum, do you really think he would have got Emily if he had?"

"Maybe he took her, maybe he didn't let Jenna have a choice."

Naomi sighed, couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. "Would you listen to yourself? Rob is a good man. For fucks sake mum, you find a decent guy and you want to throw it all away because you don't trust your instincts."

"I do trust my instincts and I love him, I just, I worry," Gina noted, sipping on her mug of tea before pulling a funny face. "That'll teach me to leave my drink to go cold."

They sat in silence, neither quite sure what to say. The conversation had come to a natural close. Naomi picked at a mark in the table and let out a sigh. She didn't want to think about her, about Emily, but somehow she just always came back to the forefront of her attention.

"Is there something I should know about?" Gina asked, raising an eyebrow as Naomi's mind continued to slip away.

It hadn't been her intention, she just couldn't help it. She was only upstairs but Naomi missed her. She'd never missed anyone before. She'd had a couple of boyfriends in school, mostly no hopers who seemed more interested in football or sex than Naomi herself. She'd never met anyone that she could actually miss before. Something had changed recently. She realised that whatever it was she was feeling for Emily was strong, stronger than she had ever felt about anyone. She tried to pass it off as friendship, like Emily said she'd never really had a close friend before. Yet she didn't imagine it was normal to think about kissing your close friends.

"Everything's fine," she whispered, tangling her fingers up together.

"I may be a bit past it," Gina smiled. "But I wasn't born yesterday. I can tell when something is going on with my girl."

"I'm fine," Naomi sighed. "It's just, how do you know when friendship isn't friendship anymore?"

"Are they a nice person?"

Naomi nodded, "They're really special."

"Special isn't a word people use lightly these days."

"I feel like I don't know if this is just being close to them, or if maybe there's more to it."

"You know that love is pretty simple Naomi," Gina informed her. "Lots of people try to overcomplicate it. But it doesn't need to be. If you love someone, or at least care about them then that's all that matters."

She didn't love Emily, she knew that much. She was her friend, she was just her friend. A friend she wanted to kiss, a friend she dreamt about having sex with. She bit her lip, tried to push the thought from her mind. She didn't even know what lesbian sex was all about, she didn't even want to think about it. She cursed herself for even getting onto the train of thought that she knew would be a slippery slope, it hadn't occurred to her before and she wondered why it was occurring now.

Naomi bit her lip harder before regretting the pain, "But what if you know it's not that simple, that there's things that make it more complicated."

"It's never that complicated. Whatever is getting in the way can't be that bad."

"It feels like it is."

"Did I ever tell you about that fling I had in college with my woman's studies professor?"

Naomi frowned, "I thought your woman's studies professor was a woman."

"She was."

"Mum!" the whole thing came as quite a surprise, made Naomi regret ever asking the question.

"What? Love is love." Gina noted. "My point being that I was happier than I had been for a long while because she made me feel good about myself. I was in the middle of my very feminist streak and I took offence by almost everything the two men I dated said. They were unhealthy relationships and I wasn't happy. But then I got a little too drunk at the Christmas party and I kissed her."

The visual of her mother kissing another woman was too much. Naomi closed her eyes and pushed her fingers against the backs of her eyelids. It wasn't helping, it was only making her head more cloudy. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again,.

"But you're not gay."

"I like to think of myself as open minded," Gina announced and again Naomi regretted digging deeper.

"Please tell me your only female thing was that woman."

Gina blushed, "I wish I could but then I would be lying."

"Mum!"

"It wasn't anything serious," she muttered, wafting the air with her hand, "Just a couple of kisses here and there."

"Why are you telling me this?" Naomi questioned.

Everything Gina was saying was making it easier for Naomi to accept what she was feeling, she knew her mother was right. That love was love and that was all that matter. In reality though she suspected it was a lot harder than in theory. She rested her head in her hands, trying to ignore the images playing around of her mother doing the unmentionable with some woman.

"She made me happy Naomi. If someone can make you happy, happier than anything has before, then there's certainly nothing wrong with it. It didn't matter to me that she was a woman."

Naomi looked up quickly, felt her cheeks flush as she stared at her mum, "I didn't say it was a girl."

"I didn't say I thought it was," Gina muttered, honestly. "Do you think it was simple to be shagging the teacher?"

"Mum!" Naomi snapped, rolling her eyes. "Please stop with the creepy sex talk, Christ."

"I just wanted you to know that complicated is only as complicated as you let it be."

*

_Katie_

She heard the phone ringing and purposefully ignored it. Not because she guessed it would be her mum but because she didn't really want to be disturbed. She was awake, lay in bed with the boy she loved. _The boy she loved. _She loved thinking it, she loved saying the three words out loud and had already told JJ a dozen times. At first she thought she might scare him off but he seemed to say it back almost as much and several tines without being provoked.

"Oh Katie, pick up your phone," Naomi's voice filled her ear.

The last thing she wanted was for their bubble to burst, but when JJ went to get them some drinks she decided that she couldn't but the world off forever. If she was honest her anger had mellowed some and she suspected part of the reason for that, was JJ. The thought of loving someone as much as she thought her mum had loved her dad made her happy. It also made her a little scared that something could ruin everything so easily. But she wasn't even seventeen so she decided that worries of marriage and pregnancy were far from her mind. She silently thanked her mother for putting her on the pill the moment she turned sixteen as though it was a rite of passage. It had embarrassed her at the time but she was grateful that she didn't need to worry about that now.

"Everything okay?" JJ questioned when he returned to the room to find her face down turned with confusion at the message from Naomi.

It was nice to hear her voice, made her feel relieved that Naomi was still there for her. She thought about calling her back, about telling her what she'd just done because she wanted to shout it out to everyone.

"Emily knows, seems Naomi knows too. My mum turned up at Emily's house and Rob, my dad, he apparently, he looked about ready to hit her."

"Wow."

"I don't know what is going on," Katie whispered, snuggling back into JJ's arms as he lay back on the bed beside her.

The thought crossed her mind that she should call her mum to find out what had happened, to discuss maybe coming home. She couldn't stay away forever. But she was happy and she didn't really want her mother to ruin that, at least not just yet. Instead she drew flowers on JJ's skin with her finger and sipped on her orange juice.

"Are you okay? It seems like maybe you're not as much as you were before and I wonder if maybe it's my fault. Did I do the wrong thing by leaving to get us a drink? Or maybe I did something wrong when we were having sex because I've never actually done it before and I was rather quite nervous and Cook once said that if you're nervous it makes it less enjoyable for the girl and I don't know much about what an orgasm is like but you didn't scream out like the girls in porn always seem to and, oh bobbins."

A small laugh escaped Katie's lips. She couldn't help it. JJ was beautiful and the way he got all flustered made her laugh. His nervousness reflected her own and she was thankful to share her first time with someone who was in the same position. She silenced him with a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Don't worry, I enjoyed it, it was amazing. I've never felt anything like it before."

JJ looked relieved, "So I didn't do anything wrong?"

"No Jonah, you did everything right."

"But you still look a little sad," he noticed, stroking the skin beside her eye.

"I've enjoyed staying here, with you and I would love to stay here longer," Katie whispered, a little unsure about telling him.

"Do you want to leave? Is it because of me?"

"Yes, No," she quickly interrupted. "I want to go but not because of you. I think it's time I tried to sort out everything going on in my life."

The disappointment in JJ's eyes made Katie frown. She didn't like seeing him so sad, didn't like the thought of being the cause for his sorrow. She rested a palm against his cheek and kissed his lips, resting her orange juice down on the bedside table as she wrapped herself around his body. It felt strange to still be naked, to be so exposed to someone for the first time in her life, but it also felt powering.

"I'm happy Jonah, I'm _really _happy with you, with what we just did and what I hope we'll do again in the future."

His lips curled at the edges, still cautious, "I want to do it again too."

"Good," she smiled. "The message I got off Naomi, she said that I'd be welcome there and I think I need to go because I need to try to build some sort of relationship with my dad."

*

_Emily_

The door opened, she couldn't see it but she heard the familiar creaking and handle turning. For a second she thought it could be her dad hoping to talk, which she wasn't thrilled about. Instead Naomi's blonde hair appeared in her line of sight as she stared up at the ceiling.

"How are you doing?"

Naomi's voice was questioning in a curious sort of way. She sounded worried which made Emily wonder what kind of how are you she was asking. She didn't really feel like playing ball so shrugged.

"Fine, I guess."

"Fine?" Naomi asked, obviously taken aback. "You've just found out you have a twin sister that your dad never told you about and you just met your mother for the first time. I really don't think fine is a good enough answer."

"What would you know?" Emily snapped, recognising her bitchy tone coming through, which she quickly regretted.

"Jesus Emily, do you always have to be like this?" Naomi snapped. "I thought we were friends."

"That doesn't mean you can push your nose in where it isn't wanted."

If she was honest, she liked the idea of Naomi pushing her nose in. She obviously cared and though Emily imagined it was probably a normal level of friendly caring, she couldn't help but hope there was more to it. Naomi had been rather nice to her lately, she missed her snappy tone and quite liked the thought of her confidence returning.

"You think I want to be caught in the middle of this? My life was perfectly fine before you came into it."

Despite not minding and hiding a smile, Emily rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry my life is such a problem for you."

"It's not a problem Em, I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to be."

_But you can be._ Even though she hated the thought of arguing, she quite liked it. Naomi was a very strong willed person and that was something she was immediately drawn to, despite her initial reaction to be horrible. It was one thing she never forgot.

"Yeah well I am. I don't want you hurting yourself over this. Just talk to someone if you think you have to, Christ you probably would have before if I hadn't been there."

"You think you're so special?" Emily snapped. "That you can really make a difference? Fuck off Naomi. You're not bloody Wonder Woman."

"Neither are you. It's okay to admit you need help. Most people don't rip apart their legs until they're fucking bleeding."

For the first time she regretted arguing, regretted pushing Naomi into an argument all because she found that side of her rather attractive. She didn't want to think of what she'd nearly done. She didn't like anyone talking about it so openly when she couldn't even say the words to describe it most of the time. She started to feel angry, not just at Naomi but at herself.

The emotion building inside of her forced words into her mouth she hadn't spoken in months, yet she couldn't stop them, "Most people don't have a group of girls breathing down their neck every minute of every single day."

"What?" Naomi frowned, sat down on the end of the bed as Emily sat up.

"Nothing," she whispered, regretting saying more than she'd intended.

"No. It's not nothing. What the fuck happened to you?"

There was a level of honesty she'd managed to maintain with Naomi, things she hadn't expected to be able to share with someone who she didn't know all that well. There was something about Naomi that brought it out of her, that seemed to wean her problems until Emily was sharing more than she had intended.

"What do you think happened? I'm fucking gay. Did you think everyone accepts that? That everyone says oh well isn't that wonderful. They fucking don't. Some people think it's a fucking choice and they're wrong. Do you really think I want to be like this?"

Naomi bit her lip, "Gay?"

"Gay. Hurting myself. Wishing that I could wipe away everything that has ever happened to me. And now this. Why me? Why the fuck should I be the one who has a secret fucking twin out there and a mother that makes my dad act like a psychopath. Who the fuck would want any of it?"

There was nothing else to say, so Emily closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander, to travel through the depths of her brain until she heard the tiny voice of Naomi beside her.

"I didn't realise it was that bad, I thought it was just that time," she whispered.

Emily bit her lip to stop from crying, "Every day. Every minute, even when I wasn't at school."

"Who?" Naomi muttered. "How?"

"The girls who, it wasn't just teasing in the playground. It was text messages at all hours of the day and night, I went through about four mobile phones trying to stop the messaging, the phone calls. There were websites, a Facebook page, they even hacked into my emails and sent things out to my contacts list."

Emily turned on her side, watched as Naomi lay down beside her, couldn't help but stare into her eyes she looked back.

"I, I didn't realise it was like that," she mumbled.

"It probably would have been easier if it wasn't all the time. But I couldn't get away."

"That's why you carried on hurting yourself?" Naomi whispered.

Emily took a deep breath, she'd never thought consciously about why she did it, never told anyone the reason, never seen a point in telling anyone. It just seemed like it didn't matter, she did it and that was all that did matter.

"Have you ever been in so much pain that you just want it all to stop?"

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "Like physical pain?"

Emily shrugged, "Sometimes it would get so bad that the only way to feel better was to do it."

"I don't think I understand," Naomi muttered.

"The built up tension from everything in my head, sometimes it gets too much and I feel like I'm going to explode. But then I, I do it and it makes it easier. The pain, the blood, it makes me feel like nothing is as bad as that."

Naomi's voice grew quieter, more pained. "I don't know what to say."

There wasn't much to say, Emily knew that. Instead she just lay back onto the mattress, wondering how it got so easy to share things with Naomi. She waited for a moment, until the silence became comfortable. It was nice to know that words weren't needed.

"It's a shock you know and confusing, but there's nothing I can do about it, is there?"

"What?" Naomi asked. "About Katie and your mum?"

"Yes," she sighed. "I'm not going to hurt myself, since that's what you were suggesting earlier."

Naomi's weight shifted on the bed, "That wasn't what,"

"It's okay to ask, I won't go mad just because you care. Thank you for caring."

A slight glance across at Naomi made Emily smile, her face was growing red as she muttered something about it being okay. Emily's heart was thumping so loud she wondered if Naomi could hear it too, wondered if it was beating because she'd shared so much more of her than she'd ever thought she could, or if it was because she'd slid her hand across Naomi's on the bed. It was disappointing to feel it being removed.

"Why did you do that?" Emily asked, staring up at the ceiling to avoid embarrassment.

"Do what?" Naomi asked, nonchalantly.

"Remove your hand, I was just thanking you," Emily stated, a little disappointed.

The blonde moved, sat up until Emily couldn't help look into her eyes, couldn't believe how beautiful they were. Wondered how she'd never noticed that they weren't completely blue, that they were actually paler, more grey. A shade that reminded her of nothing else.

"I," Naomi looked away, stuttering as she tried to speak. "I, I've been, I noticed some feelings that I didn't think I'd ever feel. I always thought things were simple."

Emily frowned, "Thought what was simple?"

"It's supposed to be simple," Naomi tried again. "You meet a nice guy, you fall in love, you have the happily ever after they put in all the films. I always thought it would happen."

Emily felt disappointed, wondered where Naomi had a met a guy to fit her fairytale idea of love. Wondered how someone like Naomi even believed in it when she was so busy fighting against anything that sounded remotely 'normal'.

"Did you meet a guy? Why can't it be simple?" Emily asked, frowning.

"It doesn't matter," Naomi muttered, the weight of her on the bed disappearing as she walked towards the door. Emily watched her go, confused that she was leaving so easily.

"Naomi, don't," she tried.

"I didn't meet a _guy_," she replied, before slipping out of the door.

The sentence sounded pretty simple, was supposed to explain that Naomi wasn't involved with someone, that maybe she was just confused or pondering possibilities. It would have been a simple sentence had Emily not noticed the emphasis on the word guy instead of meet and she wondered just for a second if the lack of simplicity Naomi was referring to, was her.

"It doesn't have to be complicated," she muttered, knowing Naomi was probably long gone.

*

_Katie/Rob_

Doing a few rounds with the punch bag always put Rob's mind at ease. His rage was worse than it had been since the last time he saw Jenna, couldn't understand how time had not healed the wounds. When he finally emerged from the garage he found a note from Gina stating that she'd gone back to her place to think, he screwed it up, regretted not telling her everything he should have before Jenna turned up on the doorstep. Emily had not returned to the lounge and Naomi was nowhere to be seen; he was about to go up to grab a shower when there was a knock on the door. The moment he saw Katie stood there it felt like the world righted itself.

"Katie? What are you doing here?"

Katie had thought about what she was going to say when she turned up at Emily and Rob's, all the questions she hadn't had answered before were still spinning around in her mind trying to capture her attention.

"Naomi called me, she told me what happened."

Rob took a deep breath, "Come on in."

He was nervous, more so than the last time. It didn't come as quite of a shock as then. He pulled out a chair, offered it to her before pulling out some cups. He asked her about what she liked to drink and was rather disappointed that until that moment he hadn't known. There was so much he didn't know, so much he wished he did. He opened a packet of biscuits and put them down on the table.

"Is there anything else I can get you love?" Rob asked, pushing the biscuits towards her.

"You don't have to do this," Katie sighed. "Please, just sit down."

"Oh, okay."

Katie couldn't help but smile at him, his nervous nature showing through. He was acting like a teenaged boy trying to impress the girl he liked, doing everything he could to make her feel comfortable. It made her laugh, it felt good to feel protected by her father.

"I'm so glad you came back," Rob smiled, taking her hands in his on top of the table.

Katie smiled back, "Me too."

"Now that everything is out in the open maybe we can spend some times together," he suggested.

"I'd like that," Katie whispered. "You're my dad, I want to get to know you."

Rob couldn't stop smiling, "You don't know how long I've waited for the chance to get to know you love."

The only thing stopping Katie from giving him a hug was her questions, all the questions she had on the tip of her tongue that she decided now was the time to ask them.

"I heard about what happened, with my mum."

"Katie, about that," Rob began. "I got angry, angrier than I should have done. I made a mistake, please don't hate me for that."

Katie smiled, "I don't hate you. But I do wonder why you acted like that."

"There's such much you need to know," Rob assured her.

"I read some letters," Katie admitted. "I read that you and mum were having a baby when you got married, it was too early for it to be me, so what happened?"

If he was honest with himself, the last thing he wanted to get out was that Jenna had been pregnant before she was pregnant with the twins. He was adamant that anything to do with that could be kept from them, hidden away like it didn't even happen. The thought of bringing it back up brought tears to his eyes which he quickly pushed away. It suddenly occurred to him that if his daughters were going to understand everything, they would have to know, they would have to be told about their older brother.

"There's a lot of things I need to tell you and Emily, but all of this is still new for her. I don't want to tell it twice Katie, I can't go through it twice and I don't think it's fair to not tell you both at the same time. Please understand that."

It wasn't what Katie expected, in fact it was slightly disappointing. She'd hoped to get answers, she'd hoped he wouldn't keep the truth from her and though he merely postponed the answers, she still felt upset.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, squeezing her hand.

"It's okay," Katie nodded. "I understand."

"How about you stay for dinner love? I'm sure Naomi would like to see you and well, I'm not sure about Ems but it's about time she got used to you being around, isn't it?!"

*

_Naomi_

The door closed behind her and she froze. Naomi could feel her hands shaking, her knees buckling and her heart racing. All she could do was stand there, trying to maintain a steady breath when all she wanted to do was turn around and go back into the room.

"It doesn't have to be complicated," Emily's voice travelled from the room, tiny and almost useless.

But the words were anything but. She was nervous, she was scared, so scared to even think about what was going on inside her brain, inside her body. She felt like she was going to explode.

"Fuck it," she called out, turning around, pushing on the door until she was stood in Emily's room again, moving forwards towards the bed where Emily had moved.

She stopped for a moment, stared at Emily as she pushed her hair behind her ears, perched carefully onto the end of the bed. Her face looked up, her beautiful smile appearing, her lips shining under the light. Emily's red hair looked redder than usual, it was the colour of passion, of love and Naomi couldn't help but wonder if it was her most attractive feature. But as she looked down Emily's body she took it back, her eyes hovering over her breasts. They weren't large, they weren't small, they were somewhere in between, a good size without being too much or too little. She'd never looked before, never thought to let herself stare too long at Emily's body. It always seemed like the wrong thing to do until she took the steps forward to fill the gap and her hands were on Emily's face, her lips were pressing against her lips and they were kissing. It wasn't one sided, she was kissing back.

"All I want to do is kiss you," Naomi muttered, pulling back long enough to speak, breathing heavily from the adrenaline. "I can't, I can't stop thinking about it, I can't stop thinking about you, Jesus."

"Oh God," Emily muttered, sliding her hands round Naomi's wrists to keep her hands there. "I can't stop thinking about you either."

It was the answer Naomi had been looking for, the offering she'd needed to kiss her again, to push her backwards until they were lay on the bed. Their bodies pushed together until Naomi could feel Emily's breasts pushing against her own. She felt weak, her breath becoming shallower as she tried to keep her composure, but it was too late.

"I've wanted this for so long," Emily moaned into her ear, her fingers sliding along Naomi's leg, pulling up the edge of her skirt until Naomi had to bite down on her lip to stop herself from screaming.

"I want you, I want you so much."

Moments before she couldn't cope with the thought of making a move, the thought of kissing Emily until her lips bled. She hadn't thought it possible to handle what was going on inside her body, couldn't deal with the feelings burning inside of her chest. Yet the moment her lips pressed against Emily's, it was like the world spun on it's head and she couldn't think of anything else. She slid her hands around Emily's back, sliding her hands up the edges of her top until she could feel Emily's bra strap. She felt brave, she felt more confident than she ever had before and it scared her. The level of passion raging in her chest, the things her brain was willing her to do was sending her body into shakes.

"I want you too, I want this, I want your fingers on my skin, I want to feel your heart beating next to mine."

Emily looked just as bothered, just as flustered by what was happening. It made her feel like it was okay, like they were sharing something so powerful that it didn't matter if they were scared, if they wanted to throw up there and then because all that mattered was their fingers and their lips and the patterns they were tracing along each other's collar bones. Naomi slid Emily's top up and over her head, assisted Emily in doing the same.

"I can't believe we're doing this," she sighed, pushing her lips against Emily's neck, collar bone and down between her breasts until she could remove the material and her lips could explore the pale mounds coming from Emily's body.

Words were obsolete as Emily rolled her over, sliding her hands along her stomach, letting her mouth press lightly down until Naomi wondered if her stomach was on fire. She slid her fingers through Emily's hair, guiding her head along her front until Emily's lips were pressed back against her own. They worked on her skirt, pushed it out of the way until all that was left on Naomi's body was her underwear. She felt exposed for only a second until Emily's lips met hers in a clash of passion. She reached down and slid her fingers into the waistline of Emily's trousers, only to be pushed away.

"Don't," Emily gasped, clutching her wrist, looking like she was going to cry at the idea of Naomi exploring her lower body.

She wasn't going to give up that easily, couldn't stand the thought of not having access to the whole of her body. "Please."

"No," Emily cried out, a couple of tears sliding along her cheekbones until Naomi regretted pushing her.

Her lips moved back to Emily's face, kissing away the tears as she whispered into Emily's ear.

"You're beautiful, you're amazing, your scars are beautiful and I want to kiss them until you know that they don't matter anymore."

Emily nodded her head, pulled back until she was lay down against the soft mattress. Naomi took her nod as acceptance. She moved back down Emily's body, pulling the pyjama bottoms away, taking in the sight of Emily's scars. They looked painful, they looked like something someone should hate and because of why they were there she did hate them. Yet because they were part of Emily, she couldn't hate them at all. Instead, she loved them, she loved them like she loved Emily's hair or her lips or her tongue pressing against her own.

"Beautiful," she whispered, pressing her lips against the marks. "Sexy."

Kiss after kiss, word after word, repeating them over and again. Eventually she moved back up to Emily's face, pushed her lips against Emily's until she felt herself growing in excitement. She didn't think her heart could grow any bigger without exploding, without breaking her in two, but as she slid her fingers into the sides of Emily's underwear and guided it down her body, she felt her chest expand to allow her feelings to grow as the moment between them escalated and they exploded in a passion Naomi never even knew possible.

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

_What happens in the aftermath of Naomily sexy time?_

E1) Naomi struggles to handle her feelings, which causes heartache for Emily.

E2) Emily is too preoccupied by her family crisis, which causes problems for her and Naomi.

_What happens next with Katie?_

K1) Katie goes against Rob's wishes and visits her mum.

K2) Katie and Emily struggle with the fact that they're related.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you so much everyone for your wonderful comments and votes.**

**This is the big one, it took me forever to write and I'm feeling a little bit worn out now. But I hope it's worth it. I hope you enjoy.**

**Katie and Emily struggle to get along and the family problems are going to effect Naomily.**

**Warning: This story features actions that some may find difficult to read.  
**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Seventeen**

_Naomi/Emily_

The room was quiet, Naomi lay on her side staring at Emily as she dozed. Her throat was burning with a mixture of nerves and excitement. She couldn't describe how she felt, couldn't understand how something that had once felt so wrong could feel so right. Emily looked so peaceful yet Naomi couldn't stop the memories of her passionate, feisty actions not long before. She'd never been with a woman, had never thought about how different it would be or how much more enjoyable she would find it. Emily's eyes flickered and Naomi's chest began to tighten, she wasn't sure if she could handle the aftermath, handle speaking to Emily now that things had changed.

"_Love is love."_

_"I like to think of myself as open minded," _

Naomi was reminded of Gina's words, was thankful that she'd spoken to her mum before taking that giant leap, silently wished she could have her reassurance now as she felt the reality of her actions set in. But the moment Emily's eyes opened fully everything changed again. Naomi's chest loosened, her breathing returned to normal and a smile spread across her face.

"Nice sleep?" she whispered, reaching out to brush a strand of hair back from Emily's face.

"The best," she muttered back, stretching her arms out until one rested itself beside Naomi's head, allowing her to play with her blonde locks.

Dreams had always been a very powerful thing for Emily. She'd dreamt a lot about the girls at school; she'd had nightmares reminding her of the pain. She'd dreamt of the fire and though she suspected she would eventually dream about Katie and their mum, her most recent dream was of Naomi. They'd been in a meadow full of beautiful yellow flowers, lay in between them and though Emily couldn't see Naomi's face she was holding onto her hand, clutching tightly to the person she knew would keep her safe.

"I can't believe all of this," Naomi whispered, biting her lip, worried that Emily would take her words the wrong way.

She frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I never expected to feel this way," Naomi sighed, drawing swirls on Emily's cheek and shoulder. "I never expected someone like _you_, to make me feel this way."

"Someone like me?" Emily repeated.

It was difficult to understand exactly what Naomi was trying to say. Emily was in a state of bliss, her mind hazed with immense feelings and memories of actions she didn't think would ever feel as good as they had with Naomi.

"A girl?" she asked, waiting patiently for an answer, allowing Naomi the time she needed to respond.

"I don't think I'm gay," Naomi noted.

Emily smiled, "I haven't seen you with any guys."

Naomi tried to stop the smirk landing on her face, "I've always been attracted to men, I didn't know I could be attracted to women too."

"It is okay to be attracted to both," Emily muttered.

The weirdest thing about the way Naomi felt was that she _knew _it was okay to be attracted to both males and females. She knew it was okay to just be attracted to the same sex, and especially the opposite sex. Yet knowing it and feeling it were two very different things.

"This, us, it feels right," Naomi informed her, rubbing her hand along Emily's arm and shifting herself that little bit closer. "I think I just need to get used to it is all."

"What exactly do you need to get used to?" Emily questioned. Naomi frowned, was curious what exactly Emily was getting at.

"This isn't easy for me," she snapped, pulling away and rolling onto her back.

"I didn't say it was," Emily muttered, wishing she'd let out the playful smirk she'd intended, when she'd last spoken. "I just meant what is this? I don't even know what we're doing here."

"Oh."

Emily couldn't blame Naomi for jumping to conclusions, could see where she was coming from because if she was blatantly honest, she didn't know how to act either.

"Does this mean we're together?" Naomi asked, allowing thoughts out of her brain rather than asking a serious question.

Emily took a deep breath, "I don't know. I've never, I've never had a relationship before."

Naomi turned onto her side, bit her lip as she stared at Emily, "Is this a relationship?"

"I," Emily stared up into Naomi's eyes as she took in a number of deep breaths. "Does it have to be anything right now?"

"I guess not," Naomi smiled, leaning over and pressing her lips gently against Emily's. "It just feels so right, to do that."

Reaching her arms around the back of Naomi's neck, Emily pulled her closer, slid her tongue between Naomi's lips and enjoyed the passionate embrace until a knock on the bedroom door pulled them both apart.

"Hang on, I'm getting changed," Naomi shouted out, taking the reigns as she slid out of the bed and almost fell over trying to return her clothes to her body. Emily tried to get up, but Naomi shook her head and whispered to her. "Pretend you're asleep."

Eventually Naomi pressed down on the door handle and swung it open, an awkward, nervous grin on her face. She could barely look at Rob who's grin was almost as big as hers had been when Emily had woken up beside her.

"Sorry, you okay?" she asked, biting her lip and cautiously staring into his eyes.

He looked past her into the room, "Oh, is Ems asleep?"

Naomi nodded, "She's a bit tired after today."

"Understandable," Rob noted. "I'm going to call in Chinese for dinner, Katie's here so we're gonna all sit down together. Wake Ems up in half an hour, would you?"

"Katie's here?" Naomi muttered, turning around to take a wary glance at Emily who was lay still in the bed.

"Yeah, said you called her. Thanks Naomi, I really, just thanks."

A kiss on the cheek and a swift hug and Rob disappeared from the doorway. Naomi let out a sigh as she turned around, pushing the door closed before she returned to the bed, returned to Emily's side.

"Did you hear all that?" she asked. Emily nodded her head. "Are you okay?"

"I guess I have to face it sooner or later."

*

_Katie_

Picking the dishes to order was fun. Picking the dishes to order with her dad, who she hadn't seen for most of her life, was even better. There were still so many questions on Katie's mind that she found it difficult to concentrate, yet she enjoyed talking to Rob; finding out about the gym he seemed to love so much and telling him about her subjects at college.

"Oh, here they come now," Rob announced, smiling at the doorway.

She was nervous. She'd never been nervous knowing Naomi was coming into the room before, she'd never even been nervous to have Emily there either. But everything was different now. She wasn't sure how she felt about Emily, her sister, her _twin _sister. She was still just the girl in her group of friends that she didn't get along with, it was difficult to see her as anything else.

"Hi Katie," Naomi greeted, wrapping her arms around her as she sat down beside her. "You okay? I was worried when your mum called."

"I'm fine," Katie stated, turning to Emily with a tentative smile. "Hi."

"Hi," Emily returned, looking even more awkward than Katie felt.

"Grubs up," Rob announced as the doorbell rang and he disappeared out of the room.

Despite Emily's presence, being left alone with Naomi made her feel at ease, settled her nerves some as she turned to her friend and they exchanged conversation.

"I stayed at Jonah's last night," she informed her, a little cautious.

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "You stayed at his house, or you _stayed _at his house?"

Katie couldn't stop the coy smile creeping across her lips and was quite shocked by the small squeal that came from Naomi. She'd never seemed like that kind of girl and it took her by surprise. Emily looked between them with a look of interest that she didn't back up with questions. Katie was silently thankful to her for not digging into her life.

"You'll have to tell me all about it later," Naomi muttered, sharing a look with Emily that Katie didn't recognise.

It was slightly awkward. Katie had never really thought about the friendship that Emily and Naomi seemed to have built. She knew that Naomi wanted to make an effort, for her mum and Rob, but that was a far cry from the way they looked at each other now.

"I guess I should thank you," Emily finally spoke up, her expression barely acknowledging the words she'd just spoken. A thin layer of tension grew between them.

The statement took Katie by surprise, "What for?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "For saving me from that fire, what else would I be fucking thanking you for?"

Rob returned then with his arms full of food. Emily's sombre mood seemed to change rapidly as she stood up and helped Rob to open boxes. The four of them sat in silence for a while until Naomi asked Rob a question, breaking the awkward silence.

"Where did mum go?"

"She left, went back to your place," he sighed. "Think what happened earlier freaked her out a bit. Guess she's not used to such a macho man."

The slight laugh seemed to make Naomi uneasy, "Macho? There's nothing macho about it Rob, you scared her."

The table restored its awkward silence which was only broken when Naomi started talking to Katie, they exchanged a brief conversation about returning to college and very quickly fell into an easy discussion. Katie was thankful for the distraction though felt guilty that Emily and Rob were still probably feeling awkward.

"How old were we?" Emily's voice filled a gap in conversation, causing all eyes to turn to her.

Rob cleared his throat, "When?"

"When you split us up."

"You were about one."

"Why?"

"It's a long story love," Rob whispered, glancing at his daughters unsurely. "I didn't, I didn't want to split you up."

"Then why did you?" Emily pressed, her lips growing thin.

"I didn't," Rob tried, taking a deep breath. "Maybe save the questions 'til after tea, yeah?"

The silence returned and though it was anything but nice to eat in silence when there were so many things Katie wanted to say, there was a strange comfort in it. What conversation they had was awkward and tense which made her welcome the silence.

*

_Emily_

Sitting in the lounge opposite Katie was the last thing Emily wanted to be doing with her evening. She was tired, more tired than she wanted to be and she knew it was because she hadn't fully recovered. Partly regretted doing what she'd done with Naomi because it only assisted in her lack of energy and the whole thing was making her rather cranky. It pissed her off even more that Naomi was stacking the dishwasher whilst her dad had disappeared.

"Is there anything you want to know?" Katie finally asked, filling the silence.

"Like what?" Emily snapped, gritting her teeth and glancing up to the door in hope.

"Maybe about our mum."

A roll of the eyes was all Emily could muster as she thought about their mum. She hated having to use words that involved them both, would have rather called her Katie's mum since she didn't even know her.

"Why would I want to know anything about her?" she asked, sighing.

Katie frowned, "She's your mum."

Emily could tell that Katie didn't approve, that she obviously thought that Emily should want to know about her mum when it was the last thing on her mind. She didn't even want to know Katie. The only thing she wanted was to know why it happened. After that, everything else was useless to her.

"No, Katie," Emily muttered. "She's _your _mum."

"How can you say that?"

"Easy, she's _your _mum," Emily repeated, rolling her eyes and groaning at Katie's glare.

It didn't bother her, or so she tried to make herself believe. If she was honest she hated the situation they were in. She hated that Naomi was better friends with this girl claiming to be her sister. She hated that they'd got off on the wrong foot and wished she could go back in time because she couldn't seem to shake the feelings she had against Katie.

"Your mother is a psychopath," Emily informed her, finding pleasure in talking about Jenna in such a way. "She's fucking deranged is what she is."

Katie looked about ready to cry, which spurred Emily on further. She was going too far, but like so many things in her life, she didn't have as much control as she wished she did. Her fingers rested against her skirt, pressing down into the material, knowing it was the only thing between her nails and her skin.

"You don't even know her," Katie defended. "That's well harsh."

"It's the truth, when she was here earlier she made _my _dad almost hit her. He doesn't hurt people."

Katie looked angry. "She didn't. She didn't make him do anything, it's not my fault if he's got a temper problem."

"He does not have a temper problem, don't be such a fucking bitch. He's the greatest man you'll ever know."

"I want to get to know him," Katie informed her, not taking the bait, instead going for the calm approach.

It only made Emily angrier. She couldn't stand that Katie was taking the moral high ground, that she was remaining calm about the whole thing when Emily could feel herself losing control.

"You should go back to _your _mother and leave me and _my _dad to get on with our lives," Emily snapped, trying to think about Naomi to stop her fingers from digging into her legs so tightly.

"She's not just _my _mum Emily," Katie tried, looked about ready to break as she played with the corner of her eye. "Rob is my dad too and I want to get to know him. Just because you're so close doesn't mean you can't share him, I don't care what sob story you have from your past, you can't stop me from knowing my own dad."

The words were pretty tame, Emily knew that. She knew that she should just take them and let them wash over her, ignore them like she ignored so many things running through her brain. It hurt to think. It hurt to breath as she stood up and lunged forwards. She couldn't let her talk to her like that, she couldn't let Katie tell her she had to share her dad when it was the last thing she wanted. Her fingers collided with Katie's skull as her fingers dug into her hair.

*

_Naomi_

There was a commotion coming from the lounge when Naomi was walking through the door. She'd hoped the time alone would have helped Katie and Emily get along, was supportive of Rob in suggesting they give them some space. She didn't expect to walk in to find Emily with her hands tangled up in Katie's hair.

"You fucking bitch, you don't even fucking know me, don't fucking say things you don't understand."

It physically hurt to watch Emily screaming, shouting and looking a mess as she tugged on Katie's head. It hurt almost as much to see the pain in her friend's eyes.

"Stop," she shouted, reaching out and wrapping her arms around Emily's wrists, attempting to take control of her.

It didn't take much for Emily to let go, to fall backwards against Naomi until they were stood by the door, Naomi's hands still wrapped around Emily's body. Katie sat down, her chest rising and falling at speed. Naomi bit her lip and turned Emily around in her arms.

"What's going on?" she whispered, pushing her hands against Emily's cheeks to force her to look into her eyes.

Emily's dark eyes were huge, her pupils bigger than she'd ever seen them. A fire seemed to be burning deep inside and from the expression on Emily's face she could tell that Emily had lost control.

"Leave me alone," Emily snapped, pushing away Naomi's hands from her face.

"Emily, please."

"Just fucking leave me alone," Emily screamed, pushing her shoulders until she was forced to take another step back, hitting the wall.

She'd never seen Emily so angry, never seen her look so out of control before. It scared her, made her want to cry because all she wanted to do was protect her. She thought she could handle Emily and her problems, but for the first time she saw just how big they were.

"Go home Naomi, just go home, fuck off."

It was the last thing Naomi expected. The day had been a rollercoaster of emotions and though most of it had been difficult, she thought she'd made an impact. She actually believed that maybe she'd given Emily enough happiness to help her through her problems. She bit her lip, had to because otherwise she knew tears would fall.

"I don't want to do that Emily and I don't think you do either," she sighed, taking a deep breath as she reached out a hand to Emily's arm.

She pushed it away. Her eyes were still raging with anger and frustration that made Naomi want to cry.

"But I do," she stated, her expression so cold and broken that Naomi knew she couldn't get through.

"Okay."

She admitted defeat, allowed the tears to slide down her cheeks as she pushed past the girl she wanted to love and made for the door. The last thing she'd wanted to do was make things worse. Yet she couldn't help wonder if she'd done just that.

*

_Rob/Katie/Emily_

"Naomi?" Rob shouted after Naomi as she ran for the front door. She didn't turn, didn't explain where she was going and from the look in Emily's eyes Rob didn't have the time to question her. "What's going on?"

The tension in the room had vanished. Katie suspected that most of it was caused by Emily and after her outburst it seemed to disappeared with her rage. She didn't expect Emily to react that way to her words, hadn't thought she'd provoke something so strong. A number of tears had been brushed away but she still felt on edge as Rob entered the room and sat down.

"Emily come sit," Rob demanded, patting the sofa beside him until his daughter joined him. "I guess now is a good time to answer your questions."

The way Emily's hands were shaking scared her. The only thing she could think about was digging her fingers into her skin until she bled. Her heart was thumping inside of her chest, so much so that she thought she was going to have a heart attack. She couldn't understand how a day that started so happily could end in such a way. So much had happened, too much to handle. She wanted to tell her dad that she couldn't hear any more. Instead she sat silently staring at the carpet whilst Katie asked questions.

"What happened to the baby that you and mum had before Emily and I?" Katie asked, shocking Emily into looking up. She bit her lip and watched her sister's eyes grow wide as she looked from Katie to their dad.

"Starting with the big one," Rob chuckled, looking anything but thrilled. "We had a son; Robert William, Junior. He was born premature and he died at three months old."

Tears returned to Katie's eyes and she swallowed a lump that formed in her throat. A number of possibilities had crossed her mind; miscarriage, abortion, adoption. Yet she'd never thought the baby could have died after birth. Emily picked up a cushion, clung to it so tightly that her fingers went white from the pressure. She wanted to cry, tears were flowing inside her chest, struggling to get out. She didn't know how much more she could take.

"I didn't know," Katie whispered.

"How could you? Your mum wouldn't have told you," Rob informed her. "She didn't handle it very well, she didn't, she blamed herself. She thought it was her fault because she'd stayed active during the pregnancy, she wasn't there when it happened and she never forgave herself."

He had to stop, he couldn't continue talking about it because he knew if he did he would have cried. He thought about his son every single day, he thought about his tiny body sleeping in that incubator, he thought about the moment he noticed he'd stopped breathing. He thought about the look on Jenna's face when he told her what had happened. Katie stood up, moved from her seat to beside her dad, so that she could take his hand.

"Thank you," Rob smiled, holding onto it with both of his hands.

Katie's voice came out tiny, painful. "Then you had us?"

Rob nodded. "We weren't even together, not really. After Robbie died, we were like shells. Jenna, your mum, she only stayed with me because her family thought it the right thing to do. You get married, it's for life. For better, for worse and all of that."

"How?" Emily whispered. "If you weren't really together, then how?"

Rob turned to face her, slid one of his hands across her knee as a small smile reached his face.

"I still loved her and I think she still loved me. On the anniversary of his death we just, it happened. I didn't even know she was pregnant until she was already five months. She wasn't the woman I married, she wasn't my Jenna."

Katie bit her lip so hard it hurt, "Did you decide to keep one of us each then?"

"No," Rob's eyes grew wide. "No, I never wanted that. I didn't want to break you apart."

"But you did," Emily stated, struggling to control the anger resurfacing in her chest.

He shook his head, making Katie question everything in her mind. She didn't quite understand. She wanted answers and she wanted them now, she couldn't bare the thought of not knowing even when everything he told them was already so painful.

"How can you say you didn't when we're sat here now, like this?" she asked, sliding her hands along her thighs.

"It's not as simple as that girls, I wish it was."

"What happened?" Emily mumbled.

"She left us," he whispered, his voice breaking from tears. "She left us when you were born and I thought she was never going to come back."

"She left?" Katie cried, tears building until they started to fall down her cheeks. "She left us when we needed her the most?"

"She came back though," Rob assured her, reaching for her hand again to give it a comforting squeeze. "She'd sorted herself out. She turned up on your first birthday, said she wanted to be back in your life."

It was more than Emily had ever imagined it to be. Her tongue seemed to grow in her throat and she couldn't speak. She'd left them. She'd left them and then expected to be welcomed back. It made her feel sick. It made her feel weak.

"I said no," Rob admitted, looking at his daughters cautiously, he was scared to admit it, scared to tell them that he was partly to blame for what happened. "I couldn't forgive her for what she'd done."

"Then how did I end up with her?" Katie gasped, pulling away, taking deep breaths as the whole thing became too much.

There was always a time when Rob knew he needed to punch something. He could feel himself growing more and more frustrated. There was so much that he kept hidden, kept inside so deep that he hated to think about it. But with Katie sat beside him, full of expectations, he had no choice but to push through. He turned to Emily, became worried when he noticed how withdrawn she'd become. He wished he could turn back the clock, go back a few days, even if that meant losing Katie again. Anything to bring his bubbly, happy Emily back to him.

"Emily had an allergic reaction," he continued, reaching out for Emily's hand and holding it so tight that he worried he was going to break it. "She was so sick, really, really sick. I took her to the hospital and I left you with your mother, Katie. I didn't even think, I just had to save Emily. I'm so sorry."

"You did the right thing," Katie whispered.

"No, no, I didn't. I didn't because I lost you. I did everything I could to save one daughter, but I lost my other."

"But if you didn't then Emily might have died."

Rob swallowed, felt the lump in his throat force itself down, the feelings he'd had back then surfaced. "I couldn't risk having another child die, I couldn't do that to myself, or your mother. I couldn't."

He was bracing himself for what he had to say next, knowing that it would probably hurt Katie the most. The thought of hurting her made his heart physically hurt. But he took hold of both girls' hands, kissed them one at a time before taking a deep breath.

"When I came home from the hospital to pick up some things there was a note on the table. I thought she was okay, when I called her she said she was looking after you Katie, she said you were both fine. But she wasn't, she couldn't handle Emily being sick. The note, it said that she couldn't watch another child die, so she took you and she left."

Processing what was being said was easier said than done. Katie could feel herself shaking, could feel her whole body moving ever so slightly.

"She took me?"

Rob nodded, "I tried to find you, I tried contacting her parents and her sister and everyone I knew. But you'd gone, you'd both vanished. I spent four years searching, four years travelling to places where someone said they spotted you. But after a while I had to give up, I had to stop because Emily needed me. I couldn't keep searching, I wanted to, but I couldn't."

Katie choked on her breath, "But, I,"

"I regret not doing something to stop her Katie, I regret every single day not trying harder. I never forgot you, I always thought about you, always. All I could do was hope and pray that Jenna was looking after you. I'm sorry."

It finally became too much to hold in her tears and Katie allowed them to flow freely. Her face was covered, her eyes growing red and painful as she rubbed them.

"How could she do that? How could she do that to you? To us?"

Rob struggled to hold in sobs, "I don't know, I can only assume grief, pain."

"I had no idea," Katie whispered, her voice clouded by tears.

Rob turned as Emily stood up, her eyes just as watery as his own. He stared into her eyes, saw the sorrow and the pain lingering on the surface as she fled the room. Rob felt his heart splitting in two, wished he could follow her and tell her that everything was okay. But Katie's face was already pushed against his chest and he had no choice but to comfort the daughter he'd let down.

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

_How does Emily react to everything?_

E1) Emily can't handle the truth.

E2) Emily lets her dad in when she struggles with everything that's happened.

_Katie goes home to see her mother, what happens?_

K1) Katie and Jenna come to an understanding.

K2) Jenna breaks down and pushes Katie away.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you to everyone who voted for this chapter, I really appreciate your comments and views on this fic. It's been quite an intense one to write that's for sure.**

**The winning votes were; Emily lets her dad in when she struggles with everything and Jenna breaks down and pushes Katie away. Though Emily's was VERY close (neck and neck til the end) so it's not quite as one sided, more a mix.**

**Warning****: This story features actions that some may find VERY difficult to read.**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Eighteen**

_Rob/Emily_

The hallway was very quiet, too quiet Rob imagined. It was like the calm after a storm but it was impossible to deny there was a long line of destruction in its path. He'd said goodbye to Katie, wished she didn't have to go, but knew that her request to return to her mother was something he couldn't deny. It hurt him enough to tell her the truth, to let her know exactly what Jenna had done to her, to them; he couldn't stop her from seeing her too. He didn't want to hate Jenna, didn't want to feel such strong feelings against her. He'd once loved her more than anything in the world and it still hurt to know that their once happy existence had been torn apart by the loss of their baby boy. His priority now was Emily. He hadn't heard from her since she left the lounge. Part of him regretted not checking on her sooner, knowing that she was vulnerable enough without being left alone.

"Emily?" he called out, knocking gently on her bedroom door, waiting patiently but no answer came.

The door was partially open, he pushed the wooden panel until it opened fully and he could see the room was empty. A lump grew in his throat and he wondered when he got to be such a wimp. He'd not cried so much in years, not since Jenna took Katie. A sense of foreboding overshadowed him whilst he marched towards the bathroom door. He didn't even stop to knock, just pushed it open until his eyes landed upon his daughter sat on the floor staring down at her thighs, blood trickling along her skin until it landed on the tiled floor.

"Emily," he gasped, feeling the lump in his throat cause a gagging feeling as the sight of the blood made him feel sick.

Emily didn't notice him come in, didn't even hear him call her name. The moment she'd got upstairs she'd thrown up, even pushed her fingers down her throat to get everything possible out of her until she was so exhausted that she couldn't move from the floor. She didn't mean to do it, didn't intend to pick up the razor blade, it was just there. Her head was light and the lack of energy made her dizzy. She couldn't hold the razor still which made it difficult to remove the blades, she almost gave up until the plastic came loose and she tucked the blade carefully between her fingers. The second Rob's hands reached around her shoulder she came to her senses, realised what she'd done, dropped the now bloody blade onto the floor and stared into his eyes with sorrow and pain.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, tears sliding down her cheeks rapidly, sliding off the edges of her face and hitting her legs, making the wounds sting.

"Oh Em," Rob cried out, rocking her in his arms. "Not again, not again."

The look of regret and guilt in his eyes made her cry harder, "I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to but I couldn't help it."

"It's okay. It's my fault, it's my fault" Rob stated, pushed his lips against the side of her head. "I shouldn't have told you all of that when you weren't ready, I shouldn't have done it."

His words were being processed slowly but she didn't really allow herself to think about it. She just cried and apologised over and again until her voice became hoarse. The pain in her legs was immense, so much so that she was thankful for the relief from the pain in her heart.

"I should have seen this coming," Rob tried. "I should have stopped it."

"I'm sorry," Emily sobbed, her bloody fingers clenching the front of Rob's shirt, soaking it instantly in blood.

"Stop saying that, stop apologising, this isn't your fault," Rob snapped, wrapping his arms around her head until she was enveloped neatly in his arms. "I'm here now, daddy's here."

The world seemed to stand still for a while. It was difficult to say how much time passed until Rob noticed that Emily was still bleeding, that the blood was soaking the floor and their clothes. He pulled away from Emily, regretted doing so when she let out a pained moan.

"No!"

He took a deep breath, "I have to Ems, I need to call an ambulance."

He slipped out of the room before she could respond. The less time he was away from her the better. The phone call was abrupt and he was quickly in the bathroom again. He carried with him a handful of towels, pushing one onto the floor to soak up the blood as he wrapped the others around Emily's legs to stop the bleeding.

"It hurts," she cried out, wincing in pain. She could feel herself growing more and more light-headed, but it didn't matter. She didn't care that it hurt too much, that she had probably lost more blood in that one incident than in recent incidents combined, that it was probably the cause for the cloudy feeling in her mind.

"We're going to get you to hospital," Rob announced, pulling her back into his arms and kissing her cheek. "I'm going to take good care of you, do you hear me?"

"No, I don't want to," she cried out, staring up into his eyes with anguish and fear. "I don't want to daddy."

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I can't just watch you do this to yourself Ems, I can't do that. I don't know how to help you, I don't know how to stop this from happening again and again."

"Please," Emily sobbed, clung to her dad's chest and let out all the tears she had left inside of her.

What Rob wanted to do was the right thing, she knew that, she knew deep down that he was right. She hated feeling the way she did, she hated feeling everything so strongly. It was too much, she couldn't cope with it anymore. She'd tried to hide away from the pain for too long and the more she left it, the more it seemed to consume her. In the end she nodded her head, whispered a faint 'yes' into her father's shirt because there was nothing else she could do.

*

_Jenna/Katie_

"Fucking...fuck!"

The loud shout made Katie jump as she dropped her house key back into her jacket pocket. It was the last thing she expected to hear, especially coming out of her mother's mouth. It worried her that she sounded so angry.

"Mum?" she shouted out, tentatively stepping through the house towards the dining room where the irate cries had come from.

Jenna was stood beside the table staring down at a broken vase which lay shattered across the floor; a duster scrunched up in a ball in her hand and a tin of polish in the other. Katie hovered by the door, carefully analysing the situation, waiting for her mother to acknowledge her presence. She didn't.

"Mum, are you okay?" she asked, stepping forwards and reaching a hand out to her shaking arm.

"I'm fine," Jenna snapped in return, pulling herself away from Katie as she ignored the shards of glass in favour of finishing off dusting the table.

Katie watched with concern, had rarely seen her mother clean so quickly or with such precision. Wondered if it was a sign that everything wasn't okay when she saw how hard she was scrubbing the table. It looked clean, it looked more than clean, yet Jenna continued to rub it down with polish.

"I've come back, mum," Katie tried, letting her know she wasn't leaving, that she wanted to be there.

"Very nice," Jenna muttered, her tone monotonous. "Be a good girl and bring your washing down, you must be running out of clean clothes by now."

It sent a shiver down Katie's spine, she couldn't understand how Jenna could be so calm after everything that had happened. She bit her lip until the pressure started to hurt and let go. She didn't like what she was seeing. It scared her more than she could explain.

"I know everything mum," she called out, sitting down on the other side of the table. "I know about my brother, about how you lost him and how you couldn't handle that so you left us. I know you took me when dad was at the hospital with Emily. I know everything."

Jenna stopped her polishing, stared down at the gleaming surface and saw her face. It looked like it usually did. It looked like the face of a guilty woman punished every single day for her mistakes. She continued to stare, couldn't take her eyes off herself. Her heart was drumming, beating so fast inside of her chest. She wanted to go to her daughters side, to pull her into her arms and tell her how much it meant to her that she came back, that after everything she was still there by her side. A lump caught in her throat that she quickly pushed down, couldn't handle the thought of crying in front of her daughter. Not again. She couldn't move. Her hands and knees were shaking so badly that if she let go of the table, tried to walk, she suspected she would end up on the floor.

"I know, mum," Katie tried again, standing up as she said it, staring at Jenna, who couldn't seem to look at her back.

It was difficult to speak, so much so that Jenna worried her words would come out broken. She couldn't show how much it hurt, how much pain she was in. She couldn't let Katie see.

"Don't forget to do your homework," she whispered, her voice appearing calm and collected, despite the lack of calm exhibited by the rest of her body.

"But," Katie whispered, her voice tiny and useless. She'd hoped that going home would change things. That she would be able to form a closer relationship with the woman who took her because she was scared, who couldn't bare the thought of ever losing another child. It felt like Jenna didn't want that, couldn't let her back in now. Katie allowed the tears to flow, couldn't stop them as she left the room.

Jenna waited for Katie to leave before she allowed a number of tears to slide down her cheeks. She let go of the table, allowing for her legs to give way as she crouched on the floor. No matter how hard she tried, there was nothing she could do to stop the sobs, to stop the memories flooding back and to stop her heart from breaking all over again.

*

_Naomi_

The first thing Naomi did when she got home was make herself a cup of tea. She was never too fond of the green teas her mum bought but since they were the only thing in, she brewed up and sat in the kitchen to contemplate what had happened. She'd taken a giant leap of faith, put herself and her heart on the line for Emily and did not expect what she got in return. But it happened and there wasn't a lot she could do about it. It hurt. It really hurt. She wanted to give in and let herself cry, yet she didn't want to give Emily the satisfaction, didn't really know if Emily's rejection was of her or of support in general. It wasn't like it was her fault, not really. So much was going on for her.

"Everything alright Naomi?" Gina asked, entering the kitchen and heading straight for the kettle. "Fantastic, just what I needed."

She didn't answer. Naomi stirred her tea, watching Gina go about making herself a cup, wondering where her advice to just go with it had gone wrong. She bit her lip and pushed the mug aside.

"So?" Gina asked again, sitting down with her own fresh cup, which she sipped on happily.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

Gina raised an eyebrow, "Of course, I'm fine too," she stated, knowing full well that Naomi knew she wasn't.

"He didn't hit her mum," Naomi assured her, standing up and emptying the contents of her mug in the sink. "He's not like that."

"And you'd have a crystal ball to know that would you love?"

Naomi rolled her eyes, "I asked him and he told me."

"Oh, well, I guess that makes him the same kind of man he was before then."

"It does," Naomi muttered. "He's a great guy. I know I've been a shit whenever you've shown an interest in guys, but Rob is a good man."

Naomi wondered when she'd suddenly become the one to give advice, couldn't understand the role reversal, except when she thought about Emily and how much it hurt to think about her own issues. She was about to open her mouth, to ask a question that she knew would start a whole new conversation, until the phone started ringing and she quickly scooped it up.

"What? Is she okay?" Naomi asked, choking on a breath. "We'll be right there."

Within seconds everything changed. Naomi's worries were replaced with fears and she was slipping her arms back into her jacket and heading for the door. She didn't even think to tell her mother what was going on, until Gina followed her.

"Naomi, what's happened?"

She took a breath, could feel tears building in the back of her throat, "Emily's in hospital, Rob wants us to go there."

"I'll get my coat, start up the car would you love?"

The drive to the hospital was fairly quiet. Naomi could hear Gina muttering about something as she drove, she heard Rob's name mentioned a handful of times; though she wasn't really listened. She stared at her phone, kept pressing buttons until Katie's mum's number appeared on the screen before cancelling it off again. Eventually she sent a brief message to her, knew that it was probably the wrong thing to do, but she couldn't stop herself.

"She'll be alright love," Gina assured her, wrapping an arm around her with a gentle squeeze once they'd got out of the car.

The reassurance from Gina didn't help and actually felt like a rather false statement. Naomi knew that people didn't know that for sure when they said it, usually just said it to try and make someone feel better. She didn't know what happened, Rob didn't really give much away. All that he said was that Emily had hurt herself. A few possibilities ran through Naomi's brain and she hated herself for thinking them. The moment they spotted Rob in the corridor was the moment Naomi knew her mum had forgiven him. They seemed to spring together like two people who hadn't seen each other in a few months and it was rather quite sweet, if you didn't think about the reason they were there.

"Is she alright?" Gina asked, once the kissing and cuddling was over with. Naomi just stood and watched, couldn't find her tongue when she needed it, even though she could feel it right there growing dry.

"She's doing okay," Rob muttered, wrapping a spare arm around Naomi when he noticed the tears that seemed to have fallen down her cheeks.

"Did she do it herself?" Naomi finally asked, relaying her thoughts to the one person she knew understood.

Rob merely nodded his head, prompting a confused look from Gina, "I've got a lot to tell you."

Gina returned his nod with one of her own. Naomi stepped away again, sitting down on a chair by the wall to save her wobbly legs from trying to decide if they wanted to work or not. She watched her mother and Rob whispering sweet messages between them, things that should have made Naomi smile, had her mind not been on Emily. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulder, to know that she was okay. But it didn't remove the weight that came from knowing that she had done it to herself.

*

_Jenna/Katie_

Katie wasn't sure what was going on. It all came as quite a surprise when Jenna came barging into her room, without knocking, looking like she'd just been told she was dying and couldn't waste anymore time with her life. It was just as much of a worry for her, as seeing her cleaning incessantly. In the end she'd followed her out of the house, not having a clue where they were going and why, anything to keep an eye on her.

"Mum?" she called out for what must have been the sixteenth time since leaving the house, to which Jenna just carried on walking through the hospital entrance, her pace increasing with every step.

It all became a little clearer when Katie spotted Rob, Gina and Naomi sitting around on plastic chairs looking worried. It was a hospital, which usually meant something was wrong. She noted Emily's absence and put two and two together.

"Mum, stop," Katie snapped, reaching out and grabbing her arm, stopping her from walking any further. Her intention was to get answers out of her mother, but the slightly louder than normal demand seemed to alert the rest of the family.

"What are you doing here?" Rob snapped, standing up and walking over, his eyes narrowing with rage.

Jenna didn't want to cause a fuss. She didn't want to be a burden or a curse, she just wanted to be there. She wanted to tell Katie what had happened, she wanted to tell Rob that everything was going to be okay. Yet words seemed to get stuck in her throat the moment she tried to speak.

"Rob, don't," Gina tried, eventually letting go of his hand as the distance between them grew too big to hold on.

"I said, what are you doing here?" Rob shouted, his voice growing louder.

"I, I," Jenna stuttered, struggling to speak.

There wasn't a lot Katie could do. She knew how angry her dad still was, she knew how upset he was about everything that had happened. She wondered if there was a hint of deja-vu in the situation, with Emily in hospital. The thought made her feel sick, made her wonder why her mum was there when sixteen years before she'd walked away.

"What's going on?" Katie whispered. "I don't even know what we're doing here."

"Emily's hurt herself, but she's okay," Naomi piped up, sending a very small smile towards her friend.

"Jennifer?" Rob muttered, his tone still very harsh.

"I made a mistake," she finally mumbled, staring at the floor. "When I left, I made a mistake. I just need to make up for it."

"Fine," Rob sighed, turning around and walking back towards Gina.

A tension grew as Katie sat down on the opposite side of the corridor beside her mother. They shouldn't have been there. It wasn't right. They didn't know Emily, not really. Yet she couldn't help think about how much she loved her dad without really knowing him at all. She suspected he loved her just as much back and always had, which made her realise that Jenna probably felt the same about Emily.

"Mum?" Katie whispered, linking her arm around her mother's and resting her head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't want this," Jenna offered, reaching her hand out to Katie's head and pressing a comforting kiss against it. All she'd ever wanted was to be happy; to have a family, to fall in love and live happily ever after. Everything changed when Robbie died and she'd never found a way through. But she was thankful to have her daughter by her side and even though there were so many things still to fix, she couldn't help be thankful that Rob had let her stay.

"I'm coming home," Katie whispered. "Properly, I promise I'll stay."

Jenna pushed her lips together, trying to maintain her composure and push down the urge to cry as she rested her own head against Katie's, "Thank you."

*

_Rob/Emily_

There was a distinct cloud lingering on the surface of Emily's mind. She knew where she was and what had happened, but she felt a little disconnected, as though she was looking down at the situation from above. The doctors and nurses fussed around her, checking that she was comfortable and making sure her dressings didn't slip off her legs if she moved even slightly. They eventually left her alone and she was thankful to see a familiar face as her dad stood beside the bed.

"How are you feeling love?" Rob asked, reaching out to hold her hand, to squeeze it until he knew she could feel his comforting touch.

"Sore," she sighed. "Hazy."

"You do remember what happened though?"

Emily nodded, "They said they want me to take anti-depressants."

Rob brushed the hair from his daughter's face, pushing his lips against her forehead as he wrapped his arms around her upper body. He hated seeing her like that, wished that she didn't look so broken. When he pulled away, he pushed a stray tear from her eye and sat down with her fingers wrapped around his.

"You know it's for the best, don't you?"

Emily nodded again, "I know."

"I was talking to one of the nurses and she suggested we give Bristol Crisis for Women a call. They know how we can get in touch with a support group."

Emily bit her lip, she didn't want to think about it, she was in enough pain for the reminder to constantly be there. She didn't want to think about the next step, even though she knew it was important.

"I don't want to," she whispered, wiping the stray tears.

Rob squeezed her hand tighter, "I know you don't baby, but it might be better for you than just seeing a counsellor. I want you to get well."

"I am well," she tried, pressing her lips together.

"No, Emily," Rob pressed, wishing he didn't have to say it, wishing he didn't have to be the strong one. "You need help that I can't give you. It's either this or you stay in hospital."

"I don't want to stay here," Emily cried out, reaching to her dad's shirt, pulling on it until Rob was forced to sit closer. "Please don't make me stay here longer than I have to."

"I won't," Rob sighed, kissing her again, resting a hand against her cheek until she lay back in the bed.

A commotion at the door made Rob let go of Emily's hand as he turned and stood up. He instinctively stayed close to Emily as he caught sight of a doctor attempting to stop Jenna from entering the room.

"She's my daughter, you can't stop me from seeing her," she shouted.

Emily reached out to Rob's hand, dug her fingers into it to get his attention. He turned and held her hand close again.

"It's up to you Ems, she's _your _mum."

"I don't want to see her," Emily whispered.

"Okay."

It was difficult to leave Emily, but more so to go out into the corridor and have to tell Jenna that she didn't want to see her. He knew it would be difficult, difficult to talk to that woman when all he wanted to do was shout at her and tell her how angry he was for everything she'd put him through.

"You can't keep her from me Robert, you can't do that," she cried out.

"It's not me," he tried. "I asked her and she doesn't want to see you."

"I need to see her," Jenna snapped again, her face breaking with anguish. Rob turned to Katie, gave her a sympathetic look that told her he was sorry. There wasn't a lot he could do.

"Come on mum," Katie comforted, guiding the almost hysterical woman away and out of sight.

The last time he'd seen her like that was when he told her she couldn't see the twins, that her coming back into their life didn't mean she had a right to see them. He'd wished then that he could have taken back the pained look in her eyes. He wished it again as she took one final glance towards him as Katie took her away. A hand touched his, cupped it carefully and he was thankful for the comfort from Gina. He smiled at her, couldn't avoid the opportunity to wrap his arms around her and tell her how much he cared. It was all he could do not to chase Jenna down the corridor and tell her how he felt about every word they'd ever exchanged.

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

E1) Emily struggles to deal with how her illness effects Naomi.

E2) Emily and Naomi have an argument which leads to things being said that neither girl means.

K1) Katie returns to college and finds comfort from her problems with JJ.

K2) Katie struggles to return to college and seeks her mother's love.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you all for such wonderful reviews and for all of the votes. Katie finds comfort with JJ and Emily struggles with how her illness effects Naomi!**

**The next chapter will be the last. I understand a lot of things haven't been resolved but I feel it's impossible to resolve them without dragging this story out. I'm going to do a sequel which will allow for any unanswered questions to be answered. In fact I'd be quite interested to know WHAT questions you all still have about everything in this story so far? Please post them with your votes!**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Nineteen**

_Katie_

Being back at college made it feel like everything had returned to normal. Katie was getting up, going to college and coming home to find her mum there cooking dinner. Whilst it seemed pretty normal, she also noticed the subtle differences in everything. The tutors were a little more relaxed, kinder than they used to be. It was like they all walked on eggshells, especially when it was established that someone in their class was never coming back.

"I can't believe Stephen Fisher died," Freddie mumbled, passing the already awkward tone back around the group.

"Was he the one with the weird goatee or the one that had BO?" Katie asked, trying to remember him, wishing she could picture his face.

"Neither, he played in that band; The Bursting Lemons."

Katie took a deep breath, "Oh, I remember him now."

Lunch break mostly consisted of them discussing the number of people they knew who died in the fire. Some they'd known about since the first day back at college but the news of others had trickled in, in the last three days.

"What's with you lot?" Cook called out as he joined the group, biting the head off a sausage as he munched on his food.

"Can you be any more of a fucking tosser?" Naomi snapped, making Katie's lips curl at the sides.

"What? We're still here, just be thankful we didn't all die, that's what I say. Live each day like it's your fucking last and get of your fucking face doing it."

The echoing laughter that seemed to reverberate from Cook, annoyed Katie. She didn't disagree that the mood had been anything but pleasurable, in fact wished that they'd all just move on and talk about something more cheerful. But she wasn't one to dance on the graves of people who died, especially when they knew them, no matter how little.

"I have to go," Katie muttered, feeling a lump building in her throat as she picked up her bag and escaped the eerie canteen.

When the wintry breeze hit her cheeks, Katie could feel her tears freezing against her skin. She pressed the palms of her hands against her face, trying to stop the flow.

"Everything okay?"

Katie turned around, the lump growing until a number of sobs came out. She didn't even know why she was crying, figured it was probably a build up of everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks. She was thankful that Naomi had followed her, was stood in front of her with a sympathetic smile on her face until she enveloped her in a hug.

"It's all a bit shit, isn't it?" Naomi asked, taking a deep breath.

Katie nodded, "My mum's been a fucking nutcase ever since we left the hospital."

"Why?"

"She likes to clean when she's stressed, all she seems to do is clean and sleep and make dinner."

Before Naomi could really respond, the bell rang for the end of lunch and the two of them walked to their lessons. They hovered by the doorway to Naomi's politics class for a few minutes, neither of them talking until Naomi broke the ice.

"Have you been to see Emily since?"

"No," Katie shook her head. "Have you?"

"No."

Naomi bit her lip, "Are you okay?"

There were two answers Katie had to that question, the one she gave to her mother and teachers and the one she didn't seem to want to share. Naomi was her best friend, she knew she could be honest, that she could tell her exactly how she felt about everything. The second bell made her jump, causing her to react quickly, shrugging her shoulders with a tentative smile before rushing off to lesson.

*

_Naomi_

The Rise and Fall of Tony Blair; hardly the most interesting areas of politics and one that Naomi couldn't seem to face. She rested her chin against the palm of her hand, allowing her mind to wander as Kieran talked about "that fucking bastard who ruined the country". On a good day she'd laugh at his way with words. But it wasn't a good day.

"And what is that famous quote our friend Tony Blair said?" he asked the group, holding up his hands. "Anyone? Naomi?"

"Sorry?" she whispered, lifting her head up.

"Sorry? No, but maybe he should have said that, that way we wouldn't have had to put his with his shit for ten years."

The last thing Naomi wanted was to spend a whole lesson completely unfocused, her mind constantly elsewhere until she realised the lesson was over and she hadn't remembered a thing. She heard Kieran calling her name, but she escaped the room, desperate to get outside to light up a cigarette. She walked home breathing in the smoke that settled her wavering emotions. Usually the last thing she wanted to see was her mother. Thankfully it didn't bother her that she was there, sat at the kitchen table having made a pot of tea. Naomi slid into the seat opposite and let out a very long sigh.

"Everything alright love?" Gina asked, raising an eyebrow which made Naomi roll her eyes.

"Fucking fantastic, thanks for asking."

"No need to be like that," Gina stated. "Bad day at college?"

"Bad week. Found out three more people who died were from college."

Naomi wasn't sure why, but whenever anyone talked about the people that died, it was like the kiss of death. The conversation came to a halt and Gina tilted her head to the side with a look of sadness.

"I saw Rob earlier," Gina finally continued, breaking through the tension with something that made Naomi perk up. "He went to see Emily, she's desperate to come home and he's desperate to see her out of that hospital."

Naomi nodded, "Sounds like she's on the mend then."

"Well, yes, it does sound that way. I was thinking about us staying here for a bit longer."

"Give Emily and Rob some space," Naomi continued. "I thought the same."

"I'm glad you agree."

Gina pushed a mug of tea towards her, which Naomi thanked her for. She stirred it for a moment, watching the leaves settle in the bottom before lifting it up to her lips, blowing slightly. The hot liquid burnt its way down her throat which made her wince. She couldn't help wonder if how she felt was how Emily felt every time she hurt herself. The pain from the tea seemed to divert her attention from the things in her brain. It wasn't intentional and she knew it wasn't something she wanted to happen again, but for a split second she found herself understanding a little about how why Emily did it.

"Everything's been moving very fast," she whispered, referring more to her situation with Emily than anything else. "I think maybe it needs to slow down, for Emily."

"You're probably right," Gina smiled. "We did plan this moving in rather quickly and didn't give Emily enough time to adjust. Won't be making that mistake again."

"No," Naomi muttered. "Neither will I."

There was a split second where Naomi could see Gina's eyes narrowing, as though trying to understand exactly what Naomi meant. She bit her lip, couldn't think of anything to say whilst she questioned exactly what Gina seemed to be picking up on.

"You care about her, don't you?"

It was a simple question that demanded only a simple answer. Naomi lifted her head a little too quickly, stared into her mother's eyes with a look of fear she didn't realise she had. She played with her lip under her tooth, allowing herself to nod enough to settle Gina's curiosity.

*

_Katie_

The incessant cleaning was not unexpected when Katie arrived home. She pushed open the kitchen door in the hope of finding something to eat only to see her mother on her hands and knees scrubbing the tiles.

"What are you doing?" she asked, tilting her head and staring down at Jenna.

"This floor is a mess, the day we moved in I could tell it needed a good cleaning."

"Mum, you don't need to do this," Katie whispered.

"Yes, I do," Jenna snapped, standing up and emptying the bucket of water into the sink. "It's a mess."

"It's spotless, have you gone mad?" Katie snapped back, frustrated that Jenna was being so obsessive.

The intense, angry glare coming from her mother's eyes made Katie take a step back. She'd never seen such intense emotion in her eyes before, had never expected her to look so frightening. She swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Mum, I just want to help you," she tried, reaching out to touch her mother's shoulder.

"I didn't ask you too," Jenna shouted, jerking so hard that she pushed Katie's arm away with force. "Just leave me alone Katie, go do your homework."

It shocked her, made her jump as she witnessed the anger she knew was hovering underneath the surface. The last thing Katie wanted to do was push her mother away, in fact if she was completely honest she wanted to feel like she had a mother again, she wanted to curl up in her arms on the sofa and have her tell her how everything was going to be okay. It was difficult to do that when she was obviously more of a mess than Katie.

"I, just, I," Katie stuttered, swallowing the lump that formed in the back of her throat until the pain stung the inside of her mouth. She left the room, left the house, ran down the street until her feet were tired and her legs were struggling to hold her up.

There was only one place Katie wanted to go, one place where she could escape from everything inside of her. Naomi was her best friend, she was supposed to be the person to go to, but everything was so complicated now. She wanted to go to Rob's, yet things were still so new, so raw. She suspected things with Emily probably didn't make her very welcome. In the end she found herself on JJ's doorstep, trying to explain to his mother that she was okay, just needed to see JJ.

"Katie?" JJ gasped, not expecting to see her when she barged into his room. She didn't care. She waited until he stood up from his desk before wrapping her arms around him and pushing her face against the soft material of his jumper.

She stayed there for a long time, wrapped up in her favourite person. The warmth of his body comforted her, made her feel better whilst his strong arms held her up. Katie tried to think of how she used to cope with problems in high school, how whenever she'd come home crying her mum would make her a hot chocolate and pull out a tub of ice cream. Somehow it didn't seem enough. Sometimes all you needed was to be held and though Jenna didn't mind hugging, she didn't do it as much as Katie felt she needed to.

"What's wrong?" JJ finally asked, brushing Katie's hair from her eyes and kissing the tears from her cheeks.

There was no need for talking, she didn't want to talk, it hurt too much to even think about everything going on inside her brain. Instead Katie pressed her fingers against his cheeks and kissed him hard. He seemed surprised at first, though quickly settled into the passionate kiss they were sharing. They stumbled backwards, landing on the bed where they kissed for a while. Eventually Katie's fingers traced the outline of the buttons on JJ's shirt and carefully unfastened each one until she could plant kisses across his chest.

"No, don't," JJ finally demanded, pulling away, sliding out from under her grasp.

"But," Katie cried out, feeling tears sting her eyelids.

"Don't cry," JJ tried, reaching out and stroking her face, pushing her hair behind her ears. "You're upset Katie. I don't want to take advantage of you."

"I know," she whispered, regretting pushing things, knowing that she didn't really want to sleep with him, not like that. "Can we just lie, for a while?"

JJ's soft smile made her feel better, his fingers slowly working their way around her sides, until they were wrapped up together again. There was no need for words between them, no need to explain anything as JJ held her, comforted her, in the only way she needed him to.

*

_Naomi/Gina_

The last thing Naomi needed, when all she could think about was the pain Emily was going through, how helpless she was to stop it and how much it hurt to know that, was for Rob to come over for dinner. It wasn't seeing him that was the problem, it was the fact that he talked non-stop about the one person Naomi needed not think about.

"She's managing everything really well, she saw a counsellor at the hospital yesterday and she said it was quite good, that's a direct quote. She's made of strong stuff our Emily, she is a Fitch after all."

"That's good, very good news," Gina smiled.

"She's coming home tomorrow actually, they said there's no point keeping her in when she's doing so well. They were a bit reluctant with her safety, but I told them that she has a lot of support."

"I'm so glad she's alright, we both are, aren't we love?"

Naomi glanced up from her plate, giving a slight nod in response before returning to playing with her food. She wasn't hungry and she didn't even know why, figured it was probably all the talk of hospitals because she'd never really liked them.

"That was a cracking dinner love," Rob grinned. "I know I picked right when I picked you."

"If I remember correctly," Gina inputted. "It was actually _me _that picked _you_."

"Tomato, tomato," he muttered, a smile resting on his face that Gina noted hadn't been there in days.

It was wonderful to see him looking so happy, so much so that all she could think about was getting him into her bedroom. She couldn't help it. It always surprised her how attracted she was to his meat-head looks. He wasn't her usual type of man, was actually the opposite. But she loved him. Ever since that night they met at his gym. He seemed to think she had been going regularly since she looked so good. She told him it was all the healthy organic food she ate and cycling everywhere. One thing led to another and his office desk seemed to become very empty, very quickly until _she _replaced the papers and pencils. She came over all flustered afterwards, had never had such a pleasurable experience without her own assistance.

"I was hoping we could spend some time alone," Rob announced, breaking Gina's thoughts. She felt her cheeks flush as she looked from Naomi to Rob.

"Oh, of course," her mind wandered, picturing his bulging muscles pinning her to the bed and his lips pressing hard against her neck.

"We have some things we need to talk about."

"Oh," it was hard not to hide the disappointment. She'd not seen him properly for days, was actually getting pretty frustrated having him sat across the table offering nothing but words.

Naomi rolled her eyes. The way her mum was looking at Rob gave her too many images she didn't really want. She looked like a schoolgirl at a premiere to Twilight meeting the guy with the smouldering looks that seemed to attract them all. It made Naomi's skin crawl. She knew it was happening, her mother made no effort to hide it what with the stupid grin she'd had since meeting Rob and the hints at bedroom activities she didn't need to hear about. She could no longer think about whipped cream without getting extremely angry.

"Guess I'll leave you two, _alone_," she muttered, emphasising the alone, noticing how unembarrassed either of them were.

"Thanks Naomi, you're a great kid."

When Naomi reached her bedroom she pulled out her laptop and lay on her bed. She may not have been listening in politics, but she did have the homework question on a printed sheet that allowed her to research what she didn't already know. She let her eyes wander across the page, biting her lip subconsciously as she thought about the subject topic.

"Tony Blair, fucking bastard," she mumbled, scrawling through page after page of search options on the computer. She wondered how someone so disliked by the majority of the world could have so many pages about him. She pondered her thoughts, decided to search George Bush and compare the results. She didn't care that Kieran wanted the question answered by the next day, it was only "five hundred fucking words" but she really couldn't concentrate on details. Instead she spent fifteen minutes comparing the popularity of world leaders before typing Emily Fitch into the search bar. She smiled when she brought up her Facebook page, couldn't stop a stupid grin appearing when she trawled through a number of pictures of her dressed in what she could only assume was her school uniform. Her throat grew tight when she noticed a number of comments made only a year before.

'Fucking ugly dyke.'

'Call urself lesbian, u cudnt fuck a squirrel.'

'Ur hot, I wanna make love 2 u & ur girlfriend.'

There must have been a dozen comments not much different, each one sending a chill down doesn't spine as she saw the horrible things the people from doesn't old school used to say. She pressed the report button. It was a year too late, but she still felt the need to protect her.

Once Rob had told her everything Gina couldn't help but shed a few tears. He told her not to feel sorry for him, but she couldn't help it. She loved him, a lot. She hurt when he hurt and even though it was a pain from a long time ago she still wrapped her arms around him until he knew she wasn't going anywhere.

"That explains a lot," she muttered.

"Gina," Rob sighed. "We've not been going out that long, I know. But it's been long enough to know that I love you and I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can."

Gina smiled, stroked his cheek with the palm of her hand and stared up into his eyes. "What you gonna do; propose?" she laughed, grinning at her joke.

"Yes."

Even with her joke it came as a complete surprise. She hadn't expected it, wasn't really sure if they were in that place. She continued to look into his eyes until he spoke again.

"Legally I'm still married to Jenna, I just didn't get around to sorting that out with her disappearing on me. Now she's back I can sort a divorce. I love you Gina, I want to marry you, be my wife."

She'd always been a fan of grand gestures and making an effort. She wasn't usually a fan of men doing playing the man role nor had she thought she would be a fan of getting married. Until Rob asked. She wasn't sure where the feeling came from, the excitement, the overwhelming urge to kiss him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Definitely! Yes."

He lifted her into his arms, kissing her passionately, their huge smiles mirrored in each other. The only thing Gina wanted to do was show him how much she wanted it. But when she pulled away she spotted Naomi stood by the door, frowning.

"Oh hi love, come in for a minute, we've got some news."

"I heard, you're getting married," Naomi whispered, half her mind feeling happy for her mum, the other half wondering what it would mean for things with Emily. If their parents got married they would effectively be step-sisters. She bit her lip, tried to force a smile onto her face.

"What do you think?" Gina asked, her stupidly happy smile impossible to remove.

Gina noticed the lack of glee in her daughters voice, in her false smile. It caused hers to fade slightly as she worried about Naomi's reaction.

"It's brilliant mum, I'm happy for you," Naomi grinned, her smile growing into a real one. No matter how worried, she _was _happy for them.

Naomi moved into the room properly, gave her mum a hug, allowed Rob to kiss her cheek awaiting the moment when she could finally leave.

"I'm going to go see Emily, give you two some space," she informed them, trying not to think about what space meant.

"You won't tell her, will you?" Rob checked, holding Gina in his arms.

"No, you should," Naomi assured him. "I'll see you later."

*

_Emily_

The food on Emily's plate didn't look very edible, but after three days of trying to avoid it, she was beginning to get very hungry. It reminded her of the food she'd eaten on the plane when her dad had taken her to New York, for a holiday, after her GCSEs. She took a bite and found the taste to be relatively bland, but not quite as bad as she had been expecting.

"I had hospital food once when I broke my foot in primary school, has it got any better?"

Emily looked up, was surprised to see Naomi's smiling face looking back at her. She let her lips curl slightly at the edges as she nibbled on a piece of chicken.

"It's okay, nothing special," she noted. "Dad said you went back to college a couple of days ago."

Naomi nodded, "It's weird being back, finding out who isn't there."

"Effy and everyone are alright though?" Emily checked, wondering why she couldn't remember for sure. The nod of Naomi's head made her feel relieved.

A silence fell between them that Emily thought was probably stemmed from the awkward discussion about death. She continued to eat the food, hoping it would distract her from thinking about Naomi, from thinking about how everything was effecting her.

"I can't wait for you to get out of here," Naomi smiled, reaching out to Emily's free hand and connecting it with her own.

Emily shrugged, "It'll be nice to have my own bed back."

"I'll be here for you," Naomi whispered, squeezing her hand.

The offer made Emily feel happy inside, but the logistics of it made her feel awkward. She slid her hand away from Naomi's, not really sure whether Naomi was offering her support because she felt she had to or because she really wanted to.

"This is something I have to deal with on my own," she informed her.

"Why?" Naomi questioned, frowning. "When you care about someone you support them, I want to be there for you, if you'll let me."

"I'm not sure," Emily muttered. "I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with this on my own, let alone with someone else."

"You think I'll be a burden?" Naomi snapped. "I want to make this easier for you Emily."

For a moment Emily closed her eyes, focused on her breathing until she opened them again. She didn't want to feel so confused about everything. It was hard enough dealing with her feelings, let alone worrying about Naomi's.

"I just don't think I can handle it," she stated, honestly.

"Of course you can Emily," Naomi assured her. "You're strong, as your dad said earlier, you're a Fitch."

It made Emily smile, thinking about her dad's justification for her getting better. She took a long deep breath as Naomi stood up, wrapped her arms around her shoulders. It was a wonderful feeling to have Naomi so close, to feel her heart beating under the material of her t-shirt.

"Please can you just let me help you?" Naomi mumbled, pressing a gentle kiss against Emily's lips.

She was taken aback, hadn't expected her to kiss her in public. A glare from one of the nurses made Emily scoff. She was unsure, couldn't decide if Naomi was being genuine, decided she probably was but still couldn't find a way of answering her question. Words seemed to have disappeared. Everything had happened so fast between them, she wanted to let Naomi in, wanting to share her recovery with her. But there was so much more to consider. In the end she reached out, pulled her in for a second hug before nodding against Naomi's shoulder.

**Voting time! We're back to ONE for ****EACH**** twin again. So TWO total votes.**

E1) Emily makes a breakthrough in her recovery.

E2) Emily questions her life and everything in it.

K1) Jenna gets jealous when Katie spends time with her dad.

K2) Katie pulls away from Rob when Jenna needs her.

**TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICE!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins, but I wouldn't say no to doing so.**

**Author Note****: Thank you so so so much to everyone who has voted and contributed to this story. I honestly wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you guys because you all made this story what it became. I had so many ideas and thoughts, but with your votes and opinions, it really made it a good one.**

**Winners of the last votes: Emily makes a breakthrough in her recovery and Jenna gets jealous of the time Katie is spending with Rob.**

**I hope you enjoy the final chapter of this story...and hope to see you all back here with the sequel!**

* * *

**Let It Go**

**Chapter Twenty**

_Katie/Rob_

Going to a gym wasn't normally Katie's choice of activity. If she was honest she'd never really gone out of her way to be sporty. She went to please Rob, to spend a bit of time with him and since it was a Saturday and she didn't have much homework she decided it might be quite nice.

"Are you sure I don't have to pay?" she questioned when they went straight through to the changing rooms.

"It's my gym love, no daughter of mine will pay to use a gym, do you hear me?"

A smirk slid across her lips as she nodded her head. His Liverpudlian accent made her smile, she'd never been much of a fan before but she thought it suited him.

"Do you have family in Liverpool?" she asked him after he showed her how to use a treadmill.

"Course I do, we do," he grinned. "My parents and my little brother both live there."

Katie bit her lip, wasn't really sure how much she should have said about any of her past, before deciding it was her life and she could share it with whoever she liked. "We lived in Manchester from when I was four 'til before this summer."

"You were in Manchester?" Rob asked, feeling more than a little uneasy at the thought.

Manchester was a big place, he knew that. But them living somewhere so near to his home town made him feel like he should have been able to find them.

"I didn't know that."

"Mum told me we had to move there because of her job but I remember it all a lot clearer than she thinks. We were living down here and she got a phone call one day. I heard her mentioning someone wanting to find her and how they thought she might go back to Bristol."

Rob took a deep breath, "I looked for you, for that long. The last place I went was Bristol 'cause my mate Carl said he saw your mum in town. By the time I got there, there was no sign of you."

"Guess mum didn't want us to be found."

"Guess not."

The awkward conversation ended and a more comfortable one began. Katie told him all about her schools, what subjects she'd taken and how she did in her exams. She told him how she'd searched for information on him with the help of JJ.

"Who's JJ?"

"He's my boyfriend," Katie whispered, watching Rob for his reaction.

"Is he a nice boyfriend?" Rob questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"He's amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better first,"

"First?"

Katie felt her cheeks flush, "First boyfriend," she corrected, knowing it was too much information even for a dad she had known all her life. A soft smile reached his lips.

"That's good to hear Katiekins," Rob grinned. "I feel like I don't have much right to be overprotective of you, even though I want to look after you."

"I don't mind," Katie assured him. "It's nice having someone care."

By the time they'd finished the workout, Katie was worn out. She had adrenaline pumping around her body, making her feel very happy.

"Sorry we can't spend more time together," Rob muttered, running a hand through his hair. "I have to go pick up Ems from the hospital."

"She's coming home?"

"Yeah. I would ask you to come along but with things how they are," he trailed off.

"It's okay. I understand. Emily and I have never really gotten along. It's not that I don't want to either, any more anyway. I guess she still just feels like Emily from college and not my, well, sister. It's a lot to get used to."

"I know it's not easy. All of this is a mess. It'll take time."

"It will."

"As long as you don't let Emily's stubbornness put you off. She's had a tough run. I know she speaks before she thinks sometimes, but it's a defence, you know? She doesn't really mean to push people."

"Definitely takes some getting used to."

*

_Emily_

The house looked the same; her duvet was still on the sofa, the sink was still overflowing with dirty dishes and there was still a message left on the fridge in magnetic letters about emptying the dishwasher. It was like she'd never left. It had only been three days, seventy-two hours. But everything felt different. It was difficult to describe; the way Emily couldn't feel the happiness she knew she had at being home, the way she couldn't picture anything but the here and now. She felt subdued, emotionless about life and everything in it. She hated it more than she'd ever hated herself. But she knew it was the only way to get through each day.

"Take a seat love," Rob offered, dropping his coat onto the back of a kitchen chair and sitting down.

Emily joined him, "Is everything okay?"

She didn't like to ask, didn't really think she could comprehend her emotions on anything that wasn't okay. Her head was like the morning after a storm, where everything that once was broken and explosive, was now calm.

"Everything's fine, better than fine," Rob grinned. "I asked Gina to marry me Emily, she said yes."

"Oh!" it was a surprise, something Emily hadn't even expected was on the cards. It made her want to be happy, made her want to feel excited for her dad. It just wasn't possible to actually feel any of it, no matter how hard she tried.

"What do you think?" Rob asked, smiling. "It's okay, be honest."

"It's good," Emily assured him, a smile forced across her lips. "I'm sorry I can't sound happier, but I am. It's great."

"It's alright Ems, I understand," Rob assured her, resting his hand over hers.

"Congratulations," she muttered, kissing his cheek.

"I saw Katie this morning, she was asking after you," he informed her. "Said she's interested in getting to know you better."

Emily had a million things she wanted to feel about Katie, about everything that had happened. She hadn't dealt with it, she hadn't had time to. There was so much she'd tried to block out. Yet she couldn't anymore. She couldn't hide away from the truth, even if she couldn't feel anything for it.

"Why?" she whispered, remembering how she'd acted. "I was a bitch dad, I was horrible to her. Why would she want to get to know me?"

Rob took a deep breath, "You're her sister Emily. No matter what you two have rowed about, she wants to build a relationship with you."

Emily nodded, "I don't know."

"There's no rush, but since we're discussing it, your mum tried to see you at the hospital."

"I know, I said I didn't want to see her, remember?"

"She wants to see you Ems. I know this is hard but maybe you could think about it more?"

There was anger rising in her chest. She wasn't sure how it was there because she'd struggled to feel anything all day. She couldn't ignore it. It was weak, but she suspected if it was let loose it would be stronger than she could deal with.

"You hate her dad, how can you say that when you hate her?"

"I don't hate her. Emily, she gave me you. She did a lot of things that hurt me, but I know she did them for a reason."

"You can't try and justify what she did dad. That isn't fair. You can't act like you hate her then say you don't."

"What do you want me to say love? She lost our son, she lost our little boy. You have no idea what it's like to go through that. Then when you ended up in hospital when you were a kid, it was the worst twenty four hours of my life."

"I can't do this dad," she whispered, hating the barrier stopping her from feeling everything. "I can't think about them, not right now. Please. I just want to get on with my life. All I need is you."

"Okay," Rob nodded. "That's okay."

The confirmation that Rob wasn't going to push the subject further made Emily feel better, it was like a weight was lifted off her shoulder and all she could do was smile; it was only small, but it was enough.

"Does that include everyone because Naomi is coming over soon? She really wants to see you." Rob smiled. "I think it's great that you two are good friends. I know how much you need that."

"That's okay, I'll see her," she whispered, standing up. "I'm gonna go for a lie down, wake me up when she's here."

*

_Katie_

Katie had dreamt about spending time with Rob, sharing her life with him and having him share his back. There was so much she had to learn and it was exciting. It was like getting a new friend with the added extra of them not being able to leave if they got bored. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Jenna.

"He wouldn't let me pay, said that I shouldn't have to pay for the gym," Katie chatted, talked quickly at the table whilst they ate lunch, completely oblivious to the fact that Jenna looked anything but impressed.

"Cheese?" she asked, pushing a plate towards her.

"Thanks," Katie smiled, taking a slice and placing it on her sandwich. "I think I'm going to go again, to the gym I mean. Not just to see Rob, dad, but because I actually enjoyed it. It's well good."

She'd not felt so happy, so excited about anything in weeks, months even. The last time was when she was waiting to go to France with school because the thought of a week in the sun, without her mother and with her best friend was too exciting. It was more exciting because she knew it would be the last time she'd get to see her friends properly what with the move to Bristol.

"He's really nice mum," Katie continued, couldn't stop her mouth taking control, even though she knew deep down that it was wrong to share so much, to sound to happy.

"Would you just shut up?!" Jenna finally snapped, her hands clenched to the edge of the table, her fingers turning white from the pressure.

Katie jumped, wasn't expecting such a loud booming voice to come from her mother. She bit her lip, did her best to stop herself from saying anything more. She'd already said too much.

"I do not want to hear about that man, do you understand me?"

"But," she gasped, frowning.

"I have not stopped you from seeing him, I have allowed you to do that, so now you need to stop talking about it."

"I'm sorry," Katie tried, taking a deep breath. "I didn't mean, I just, I got carried away."

"You can get carried away on your own because I'm not going to sit and listen to this."

Jenna stood up, picked up her plate and disappeared into the dining room. Katie sighed, watched her mother leave the room, couldn't help but wonder what exactly she'd said wrong. She couldn't help talk about Rob, he was her dad, he was now part of her life. It wasn't wrong to be excited. But deep down she knew it was a touchy subject, that she shouldn't have spoken about it with Jenna, shouldn't have sounded so happy. It suddenly occurred to her about Emily, about what Rob had said. All the time Katie was happy to be forming a relationship with her dad, she hadn't even suspected that maybe her mum would want to do the same with Emily.

*

_Emily_

It came as quite a surprise. One minute Emily was brushing her hair in the mirror, the next she was being kissed, pushed against the reflective surface as passion surged between them. It was only when she pulled away that Emily had chance to realise that is was Naomi who had stolen her lips.

"What the fuck?" she called out, taken aback by the force of the kiss, by the person doing the kissing.

Naomi's eyes narrowed, her grey-blue orbs looking confused and hurt by her burst of shock. She knew she felt sorry for her, hated that she was to blame for that painful look on Naomi's face. She just couldn't do anything about it.

"You shocked me," she whispered, trying to make an excuse but knowing that soon it wouldn't even matter.

A faint, dull pain settled in her heart. Emily dropped her hairbrush on her bed and ran a hand down the side of her hair. Naomi looked at her with anticipation, a longing that only made Emily's heart ache more.

"I have to focus on getting better," she told Naomi, before she could even respond. It was vital to get it all out. She knew that if she took a moments break she would probably lose the courage she had spent the last twenty four hours building.

"I've wanted to do that since I left," Naomi grinned, her smile curled up at the edges making her appear vulnerable in so many ways. It hurt to see such a hopeful look on her face.

"I need to focus on me," Emily tried again, hoping to not sound conceited.

"I know, that's important," Naomi assured her, sliding her fingers between Emily's. "I'm here for you every step of the way. What I said last night hasn't changed."

"Except that it has," Emily muttered, pulling her hands away, staring down at the fingers she rested in her lap.

She couldn't explain when, or how, but things had somehow settled in her mind. It was like an early morning fog that was gone by noon.

"I don't understand," Naomi sighed. "Last night,"

"Last night I wasn't being honest, not properly. This medication, Naomi, it makes it difficult to feel anything. Right now I know I want to feel happy, I want to see our future together. I just can't. I can't feel anything the way I want to. It wouldn't be fair to be with you knowing I can never feel as much as you need me to feel."

"I don't mind, Emily, I've never felt like this." looking pretty happy and broken all at once "Do you understand that?"

She did understand. She understood more than she wanted to. She knew how much Naomi cared about how, her much she cared back. It had taken her by surprise. But thinking about that didn't help her, pushing it aside, trying to pretend the feelings weren't strong was all she could do.

"No, Naomi," Emily snapped. "Don't put that on me. Don't tell me that this is big for you, I can't handle that right now."

"Christ Em, you make it sound like it's wrong to feel this way. Don't deny that you don't feel it too, I know you do."

"I do, but it's not as simple as that."

"Yes, it is," Naomi snapped, her voice cracking under the strain. "It's as simple as you want to make it. If you care about someone, then nothing else matters."

"But I can't care about you," Emily tried to explain, knowing those few words would probably break her. "I want to and I do, I know I do. It's just really difficult to feel that right now, to feel anything."

"Oh."

The look on Naomi's face made Emily cower. It was like the wind had been knocked out of her and all she could do was stare, her eyes growing weary and broken.

"I want to be friends Naomi, I can handle that. But last night when I was lay in bed I kept thinking about this, about you. I finally realised that I can't do this with anyone relying on me."

Emily paused, waited for Naomi to speak, expected her to respond in some way. It took her by surprise when she didn't. The lack of words made it even harder to continue.

"This is about me, getting better because I need to," Emily whispered, the words coming out faltered. "I can't carry a relationship when I can't even handle my own feelings. How do you expect me to handle yours too?"

"But yesterday," Naomi trailed off.

"I was still getting used to the pills. They're working better now. I see everything so much clearer. I'm sorry but I can't be the person you want me to be. I can't even be the person I want to be."

Naomi's face changed, her eyes stopped watering and glazed over. It was even more painful to watch her shut down than to watch her cry.

"Mum and I are staying at our place, give you time to get better," she whispered, her voice still broken.

"I'm so sorry Naomi," Emily tried, regretting everything she'd said. Wishing there was a way they could try and make it work, anything to avoid Naomi looking so broken. "I guess it just wasn't the right time for us."

Naomi nodded her head, a slight action that made tears slide down Emily's cheeks. Everything had felt much clearer, her feelings were easier to handle and she'd rehearsed what she was going to say. Yet the look in Naomi's eyes changed everything, made Emily's watered down emotions build up. She felt her heart ache, her chest tighten under the pressure. She was only thankful that she couldn't feel it all at full power, was scared of what she'd do if she could. Watching Naomi turn around, walk out of the room, a million miles away from the way she looked when she came in. It was the hardest thing Emily had ever had to do, she just had to keep telling herself that it was for the best.

*

_Naomi_

By the time Naomi arrived home she couldn't breath properly. She'd run, pushed herself to the limit, anything to get home faster. She prayed her mother wouldn't be there, but when she realised she wasn't, it made her cry harder. She moved to the stairs, had to reach out to a step several from the bottom as her knees gave way. She didn't realise how hard it could be, how much it could hurt to have everything you let yourself want be pulled away again. The carpet lay beneath her fingers, which she clung on to, pressing her fingers into the rugged material. She choked on tears, tried to stop them falling but the battle was easily lost. Eventually the front door opened, Gina's smiling face fell and she was on the stairs beside her daughter in record time. Naomi reached out, clung to her as she sobbed against her shoulder, soaking it in seconds.

"Naomi, what's happened?" she questioned, trying to push her away to look into her eyes, but Naomi just hung on tighter.

"I took a chance," she sobbed, struggling to get her words out. "It didn't, she didn't,"

It didn't matter anymore, keeping it a secret, eluding her mother to the sex of the person she cared about, _loved_. She was too upset, in too much pain to worry.

"It's not your fault love," Gina tried, stroking her hair, rubbing her back to show her support and comfort.

"If I hadn't, if I hadn't wanted this so much, none of this would have happened," Naomi sobbed.

"No, Naomi. I won't let you give up on love. Not when you're seventeen. Sometimes things don't work out," Gina assured her, pulling back to brush the tears from her face. "But you, my darling, are a beautiful, caring, amazing young woman. You will find someone else."

"I don't want someone else. I just want Emily."

Naomi felt her tears start to dry up, the comforting touch of Gina's hand still stroking her back, her head. She pushed her face further into her mother shoulder. She'd not give in to her mothers comfort in so long, she missed feeling her arms around her.

"Emily has a lot going on," Gina reminded her. "I know it might not seem like it now, but in time she will get better and maybe then,"

"I don't want to wait," she sobbed. "I fucking love her."

"I know you do, I know," Gina sighed, continuing to hold her close, pressing a gentle kiss against her head. She thought she'd been feeling better, but she wasn't, in the end she just wrapped her arms around Gina's waist, clung to her again because for once she couldn't seem to let go.

*

_Katie/Jenna_

After a couple of hours of studying in her bedroom, Katie decided it was time to get a drink. She was still a little on edge after the argument with her mother, was wary as she wandered through the house. She made it to the kitchen successfully, only to be disrupted by a loud smash. She placed her glass back on the kitchen counter and rushed into the dining room where a box of cleaning products sat on the table and a vase, that Katie remembered matched the one that smashed days before, was lay on the floor beside the wall. She couldn't see Jenna, but she could hear her as loud sobs came from the other side of the room.

"Mum?" Katie whispered, feeling like a small child walking in on her parents after they'd had a row.

She didn't respond. Katie took a deep breath, took tentative steps across the room until she found her mother curled into a ball at the foot of the table.

"Mum, what's wrong?" she gasped, kneeling beside her, reaching out to wrap her arms around her.

"Leave me alone," Jenna snapped, not wanting to let her daughter see how upset she was, how much pain she was in. She pushed her away, hid her face from view because it wasn't normal to be so broken in front of your child. All her life she'd tried to protect her daughter, tried to keep her own pain from her, it was difficult to switch that off.

"Mum, please don't," Katie begged, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Please just let me in."

There were a million things making Jenna want to pull away, stopping her from letting Katie in. But when she looked up, stared into her daughters eyes, her body shook with tears as she fell against Katie's body.

"I love you so much mum," Katie cried, wrapping her arms around her, feeling tears stroll down her cheeks as she held her close.

"I'm sorry," Jenna sobbed, letting go of everything she'd been holding in, allowing herself to cry freely.

"It's okay," Katie muttered, brushing Jenna's hair from her damp face.

It was everything Katie had wanted, for days, weeks since everything had gone wrong. She just wanted her mum back, wanted to rebuild their broken relationship and be as close as they used to be, if not more. She'd been angry, confused, upset about everything. It was all in the past now, there was so much more to life than being angry, they needed each other.

"I don't want to lose you," Jenna cried out, clutching Katie's arms, clinging on tightly.

Katie sighed, stroked her mother's cheek, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I didn't mean to take you," Jenna admitted. "I didn't mean to leave her there, to leave her when she needed me."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not okay, it will never be okay. I left her and now she won't even speak to me."

Her throat hurt, the lump of tears struggling to escape. Jenna tried to swallow them, tried to force them out as the pain stayed strong. She reached out, rested her hands around Katie's cheeks, staring into her eyes.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't mean to hurt her or your dad. I love you both so much. I need to see Emily, I need to explain."

Katie took a deep breath, "I know. But Emily needs time, she's hurting a lot."

"It's all my fault, if it wasn't for me," Jenna sobbed.

"No, it's not you mum. She has other things going on that were there before, it's not your fault."

"It feels like it's all my fault."

Katie just shook her head, kissed her mother's cheek and wrapped her arms around her again. She'd never seen her so broken before, had never witnessed anything but a stable Jenna. It was difficult, harder than she'd ever imagined it would be. She also knew that it was important. She'd always put her mum up on a pedestal, had always thought of her as superior and invincible. She wasn't a child anymore, she couldn't hide away from the fact that Jenna was still a human being, with thoughts and feelings.

"We're going to work this out," Katie whispered. "Things seem well bad right now, but they won't forever."

"I know," Jenna sighed, calming slightly. "I've not cried this much since Robert."

"Dad?"

"The baby."

Katie bit her lip to stop anymore tears from falling, "Maybe one day soon, you can tell me about him?"

Jenna nodded, "I'd like that."

It took a while, but finally Katie and Jenna moved to the kitchen where Katie made them a cup of tea each. They sat in silence for a while, sipping their drinks and taking the time to calm down. A lot had happened that Katie couldn't even begin to understand. There was so much that she knew had to be said, had to be shared. There was Emily and Rob, both part of their lives, no matter how small and though everything didn't appear clear, one thing was obvious to Katie. That no matter what had happened over the last few months, it had all happened for a reason and though the reason was hard to find, she couldn't help think positive about the future, about forming a relationship with the family she didn't know and finally letting go of everything she'd ever struggled to accept.

**The End**

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**No votes...sad times. Okay, vote on which story I should start next:**

**1) Sequel to Ten Feet Under (probably angsty/depressing)**

**2) Christmas Themed Fic (hopefully fluffy, though with a hint of drama)**


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